Funny Dark Jokes

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

His face said it all—the lone scar running down his cheek, a jagged reminder of a past shrouded in blood and violence. His cold, calculating eyes never left me, watching from the window across the street, tracking my every movement like I was nothing more than prey. He was bad news, the kind of danger that should have sent me running. But there was something about him, something dark, that pulled me in—like a moth drawn to a flame. Faith had no idea what she was getting herself into when she first crossed his path. The warnings were clear, the whispers of a bloodthirsty secret that was supposed to be a myth—until she met him. Now, as she feels the grip of his obsession tighten around her, she can’t escape. He’s not just watching her; he’s consumed by her. She could feel it in the way his eyes lingered, in the way he hovered just out of reach, his presence haunting her every step. She should have run when she had the chance. But now, trapped in his world, there’s no escape. Faith is the light in his suffocating darkness, the one thing that keeps him tethered to the edge of humanity. But the question remains—can he control the monster inside him long enough to keep her safe, or will his hunger consume them both? The flame burns brighter. The danger grows closer. And as the nights grow colder, Faith’s only hope is that he can keep his darkest urges in check. Because if he can’t… she will become the next victim of his insatiable thirst.

Two hearts who meet almost a thousand years back are forced apart by the cruel hands of death who take away one of them. The other vows to bring his beloved back, which he did, but had to pay a price. One thousand years later, Ariel is found regaining consciousness after the supposed coma she had been in. She finds herself in an unknown room with no recollection of her memories, and is forced to live with the cold hearted Damien. What will happen when she realizes who she is?

Obsessi! Merupakan satu kata yang tidak bisa dilepaskan dari seorang Markus Gringer Grint. Mengenal Megan, membuatnya merasa begitu berharap. Lantas, ia di tolak dan membuat Maskus geram. Ia bertindak kasar, mendekati Megan dengan segala cara termasuk memisahkan hubungan Megan dengan Axel Damiano, kekasih Megan. Mereka menjalani hubungan diam-diam selama dua tahun. Sungguh, Markus membuat Megan terjerat dan semakin merasa sesak. Perlahan, setiap rahasia Markus terbongkar satu persatu. Rahasia mengerikan yang di simpan rapat Markus, termasuk sebagai pendiri Blindberg, kelompok Elit Global yang mencoba melakukan spionase terhadap banyak negara dan menciptakan Komputer Quantum untuk memasang chip pada setiap manusia, agar mereka patuh dan tunduk pada alat yang mereka jual. "Kau memerkosa ku berengsek!"pekik Megan menatap nya lang sudut mata Markus. "Kau akan terbiasa dengan hidupmu!"balas pria itu tegas.

Apa benar pelangi terindah datang setelah badai? Lantas mengapa badai ini tidak kunjung usai? Secantik apakah pelangi itu nanti? Jika hidup ini tentang penghargaan dan hukuman, maka kesalahan macam apa yang membuatnya harus menerima hukuman seberat ini? Bella adalah seorang aktris dengan sejuta rahasia. Selama hampir tiga tahun berkarier di dunia entertaiment, tidak ada satu pun orang yang mengetahui tentang siapa Bella sebenarnya. Siapa sangka dibalik wajah cantik tanpa senyuman itu menyimpan segudang rahasia? Suatu ketika rumor menghantam gadis berusia dua puluh lima tahun itu. Hal tersebut memaksa Bella untuk berurusan dengan seorang pengacara. Allen adalah seorang pengacara andal yang menangani kasus Bella. Awalnya ia sangat menolak untuk mengurus kasus selebritas. Namun, saat mengetahui salah satu rahasia Bella, membuat Allen semakin penasaran. Ia kemudian memutuskan untuk bersedia menangani kasus Bella. Satu persatu rahasia Bella terbongkar. Allen menjadi orang pertama yang mengetahui semua rahasia Bella. Mulai dari gadis itu mengidap kelainan langka, sampai kebiasaannya meminum obat penenang.

Setelah mengetahui suami yang ia cintai mencintai wanita lain yang tak lain adalah sahabatnya, Kinan pun mulai menyusun rencana untuk membalaskan rasa sakit hatinya, hingga sebuah pepatah membuat tekadnya untuk menghancurkan Hanzel dan Mega membara, jika rasa sakit tak mau meninggalkanmu, maka pergilah tinggalkan rasa sakit itu.

Kehidupan malang yang dijalani seorang anak sebatang kara, tak membuatnya putus asa. Kerap kali berada dalam situasi bahaya tidak menyurutkan semangatnya untuk terus melanjutkan sesuatu yang mereka sebut sebagai 'kehidupan'.

Jingga adalah seorang Bidan Muda yang baru saja membuka sebuah klinik untuk ibu hamil. Hubungan yang sudah dibinanya selama 3 tahun dengan lelaki bernama Arga mulai terasa seperti sesuatu yang asing. Suatu hari, karena sebuah kecelakaan Nathan yang ternyata seorang CEO dari sebuah perusahaan ternama di kotanya tanpa sengaja mulai masuk di kehidupan Jingga. Dan langsung jatuh cinta padanya. Nathan berhasil merubah hidup Jingga. Memberikan sebuah cinta yang tak pernah didapatkannya dari Arga 3 tahun ini. Bagaimana akhir kisah Jingga. Apakah Jingga akan berpisah dengan Arga demi memilih cinta yang baru? Atau Jingga akan terus melanjutkan hubungannya dengan Arga yang penuh kedinginan? Temukan jawabannya di novel ini!

Dark Romance; A spoiled girl’s game leads her into the arms of an attractive, no-nonsense man. Logline: After playing a reckless game, a spoiled and gullible girl did not expect to find herself in a serious relationship with an intriguing and no-nonsense guy who starts to discipline her. Excerpt: She listened as he stepped forward with his belt, moving closer to her and crowding her with the musky scent he was wearing. She fought to hold back her fear as finally, he came to stand behind her. She felt his fingers gently combing her hair down over her shoulders. Then he started speaking slowly, his deep voice starting to shake her demeanor as he talked to her."You didn't marry a soft knight in shining armor that will cuddle, ignore and pet you every time you choose to deliberately get out of line. I will punish you thoroughly for your disobedience..." WARNING! This is Dark Romance. Do not read if you find the theme offensive.