Funny Deer Blind Dad Jokes Novels & Stories

(WARNING: R18. Contains shameless, explicit smut. Not intended for young viewers.) *** "Rune," Xavier called, his voice a low, throaty groan that sent heat straight to my core. "Baby, you don't have to do this." Determination surged through me, lighting my nerves on fire. "I want to." That was without a doubt. Even though I have no idea what the hell I'm about to do. I'm about to rely on the wild tales Marcella told me, and that one lesson with a banana. Fucking hell. I'm about to suck her dad off...using her own lessons! **** Rune Vitali is the poster child for "down on your luck." Out of a job, black sheep of her family, and mentally exhausted, the last thing she expects is to find her boyfriend cheating on her with his stepbrother just a day before she brings him home. Hurt and angry, she goes to a bar to drink her worries away. There she meets a handsome stranger. One night of hasty decisions lead to massive fallout. Not only was this stranger Xavier Creighton, the country's most popular and ruthless Criminal Lawyer, he was also her best friend's father. And her new boss. If her life was bad before, it's about to get even worse. How long can she keep her dirty little secret before her best friend finds out? Or before the scandal blows up and ruins her forever? She should stay away. But there's something about Xavier she can't resist. Something almost...supernatural. Like there's a force pulling them together, one she can't resist no matter how hard she tries.

Her ex boyfriend's Dad should be off limits. Dumped and heartbroken, Selena a 24 years old lady finds herself pregnant and falling in love, after a one night fling with ethan. Ethan a 49 years old billionaire who went through a dirty divorce, multiple betrayals, including from his own son, James. He is less interested in a relationship or having another child, but he can't stop thinking of her. Both being confronted by James and Selena's family, decide to live together just until after the birth of their child. This soon turns into a phase of undeniable love.

Three years ago, Camilla had a one-night stand that left her with more than just memories—a son, Carlos, whose father vanished into the night. Now, her carefully constructed life is thrown into chaos when her mother, Elena, introduces her new fiancé, Emilio—the same man Camilla thought she’d never see again. Worse, he has no idea Carlos is his son. Torn between her love for her mother and the undeniable connection she still feels for Emilio, Camilla is pushed into a dilemma. Emilio, caught between his loyalty to Elena and his desire to be with Camilla and Carlos, must make a life-altering decision. As their dark past seems to threaten their future, Camilla must decide—can she risk everything for love, or will the weight of their shared secrets tear them apart forever? Will Camilla and Emilio find their way back to each other, or will they let the tempest rocking their lives hinder them?

An accidental act of heroism reshaped Sera’s life entirely. She lost her sight saving the grandmother of a stranger. In return for her goodness, she was forced into marriage with the old woman’s grandson, Lucian Vitale. He was a mysterious businessman with no interest in love, and as people whispered, colder than ice. Given her circumstances, Sera had no choice but to accept. She became his pretend wife, bound by contract. It was a kind of relationship she’d never imagined living. Sera had never planned to fall for a man she’d never seen. But with every touch, every murmur from Lucian, she was slowly pulled under by longing and feelings that should never have taken root. In darkness, she learned to love—and to bleed. Then came the day her vision returned. She heard a truth that shattered her world and tore at her heart. Frightened beyond reason, Sera ran and vanished. She carried a secret in her womb: the child of their passionate nights together. Four years slipped by. A man stepped back into her life. Same voice, same scent, same way his hands found hers… but he did not know her. He had amnesia. Can Sera escape the man who once meant everything to her? Or is this fate’s way of calling them back to settle what they began—in their beds, their hearts, and the secrets that still wait to be told? Between lies, desire, and memories… will they choose each other still?

"Five thousand dollars. I will pay you to have sex with me," I said to the handsome stranger. “Ten thousand dollars. I will pay you ten… No, fifteen,” At that moment, I just wanted to get laid. It was the only thing I could think of. “If you are still not fine with it... I will increase the money,” I whispered against his lips… ***** I caught my boyfriend of several years cheating on me with my own cousin. It already sounded bad, but ending up in bed with a hot stranger who turned out to be my ex-boyfriend's dad was even worse. Still, I'm not a woman who wallows in self-pity. I was going to use this to my advantage. I was planning to find my way into the handsome billionaire's life in order to get revenge on his cheating son, but the man beat me at my own game. Unexpectedly, he approached me first, asking me to marry him, upon our second meeting! The look in his eyes, his voice, everything about him screamed suspicious, but did his motivations matter? For now, not really. I was determined to make my ex-boyfriend pay for wasting my time all these years. I was going to make my cousin crawl at my feet and beg for my forgiveness...

The daughter of my father's first love suffered from heatstroke because she was left in the car, so he tied me up in a fit of anger and locked me in the car boot. He looked at me with utter disgust and said, "I don't have a vicious daughter like you. Stay here and reflect on yourself." I begged him, apologized to him, and pleaded for him to let me out, but all I got in return was his ruthless order. "Unless she dies, no one is allowed to let her out." The car was parked in the garage. No one could hear me no matter how much I screamed for help. Seven days later, he finally remembered me and decided to let me out. However, he had no idea that I had already died in that trunk and could never wake up again.

My cousin, Myra Walsh, leaves a voice message in the family group chat in a mean and uncouth manner. "Mom, I'm not meeting that guy who drives a rundown car. One look at him tells me that he's a single pathetic loser." She then kicks my chair. "Hey Sam, that useless piece of shit is a good match for you. Why don't you take my place on the blind date?" I follow Myra's line of sight. There's an old-looking car parked outside, and the owner, Henry Quinton, is currently reclining against the car while smoking. My entire family thinks he's just an ex-convict who has just gotten released from prison and is unable to land a job yet. I'm the only one who knows that's not the truth. Last week, when I was carrying out my internship at a bank, I witnessed the bank manager inviting Henry into the vault. Apparently, the trail of numbers Henry has in his savings is as long as a phone number. After putting on some makeup on my face to make me pure and innocent, I put on an oversized shirt before heading out of the apartment. In the cold wind, I cower slightly from the cold as I hand a thermos flask over to Henry. "Sir, Maya said she's not a match for you, so I'm here in her place." Henry snuffs out his cigarette, his gaze fixing on my flapping hem for three seconds. "Lass, if you want to be with me, you'll have to suffer tremendously in life." "I'm willing to go through anything as long as I get to be with you." That night, Maya flaunts photos of the bag a rich scion has given her. As for me, I've gone over to Henry's apartment.

After divorcing her unfaithful husband, billionaire Silver seeks solace by returning to her home pack, hoping to start fresh and reconnect with her roots but home is not what it used to be. Her father’s legacy has left behind a tangled mess of debts, secrets, and enemies lurking in the shadows. Caught in the storm, Silver is drawn to the pack’s new young Alpha, a man wrapped in mystery, danger, and an intensity that unsettles her heart. Their paths collide in ways neither of them expected, forcing Silver to face not only the darkness in her family’s past, but also the forbidden spark threatening to shape her future. Now, she must decide: will she fight the chaos consuming her world, or surrender to a desire that could destroy everything?

My dad died in a car crash. On the seventh day after his death, I hear him whisper in my ear, "Amara, save your brother. There are cracks in the old stone bridge at the village entrance... It will collapse... He will die." I immediately call my brother, Asher Langford, and he takes a different route out of the village. But that afternoon, the police report that a murder took place on that road. The victim is Asher. My sister-in-law, Delia Winslow, and I bury him in tears. On the seventh day after my brother's death, I hear my dad's voice again. "Amara, keep an eye on Jasper. Don't go to the back of the hill. The dead trees there attract lightning... There will be a thunderstorm in three days." That night, Delia locks my nephew, Jasper Langford, inside the house. But three days later, Jasper falls from a window on the 12th floor. Delia goes insane after losing her husband and son consecutively in such a short time. Holding back my grief, I leave my own son, Billy Calloway, with my husband, Felix Calloway, and help Delia lay Jasper to rest. On the seventh day after Jasper's death, I see my dad holding Billy's hand and looking back at me with a sorrowful expression. He says, "Amara... There are spirits looking for substitutes in the reed marsh in the village. Take care of Billy. Don't go..."

“New destiny,” the wind whispered. Instinctively, my wolf leapt forward in protection, growling menacingly. I crouched in front of her, inhaling her sweet scent—the same one that had drawn me to her, the same one that stirred something deep within me, calling to me without a single word. I whispered to the wolf: “So, the rumors were true… Hunter not only kept his daughter as a prisoner but also hunted her.” The tone of my voice sent a pleasant shiver through the air, teasing my own ears. “Tell me, blind wolf, I just killed your father. Do you hate me for it?”