Funny Dirty Jokes For Adults Novels & Stories

"Okay! Okay! I will stop, but that joke of yours isn't good. Aren't there any more funny jokes?" I sat down next to Shin again. "I still have a lot of jokes," I replied. "Okay let me hear," "Here is a knock-knock joke. Knock-knock," - Me. "Who's there?" - Shin. "Tank," - Me. "Tank, who?" - Shin. "You're welcome!" Shin and I both poker-faced to that joke at the same time so I immediately drew a long line on it. "Knock! Knock!" - Me.

“It’s fine.” I let out a groan and lean back slightly. “Goddamn it, why is it always the quiet ones?” Behind me, Nathan lets out a snort and Mason chuckles under his breath, both of them far too amused for my liking. “What’s so funny?” she asks, glancing between them with a furrowed brow. “Oh, nothing,” Mason says with a grin, “just that Theo here has a bit of a reputation. Finds pain… motivational.” Nathan hums his agreement. “Some guys get squeamish. Theo gets excited.”

I burst out laughing so hard I nearly choked on my soda. Jenna looks deeply unimpressed. “Yeah, real fucking funny,” she mutters, side-eyeing both of us. “Keep laughing, you bunch of soggy mofos. I’ll remember this when you two need someone to body a man for you in public and I’m too busy teaching spin hooks to felons named Big Maria.” Dawn snorts into her drink. “You’d thrive in there, don’t lie.” “Shut up,” Jenna says, but she’s already smiling.

I look straight into the camera, cum sticky and warm on my lips and cheeks, chest heaving, pussy still throbbing and dripping. “Happy... fucking... Thanksgiving, bitches.”

Heavy with shit we weren’t saying. I cleared my throat. “Alright. That’s enough depressing hospital talk. You know what would really make my day better?” He glanced at me, brows raised. “A really dumb joke.” Andrew blinked. Then tilted his head a little, lips twitching like he was fighting a smile. “A dumb joke?” I nodded, lips curving around the cigarette still hanging from my mouth. “Come on. Hit me.” He gave me a look—half skeptical, half amused. “Fine. What do you call a sad strawberry?”

“Whatever you’re doing at ‘work’ tonight… hurry home. Both of you can fuck me senseless for all I care.” I snorted at my own joke, then immediately winced because yeah, that was a weird thing to say even alone. Little did I know how soon that joke was going to bite me right in the ass. And how much I was going to enjoy it when it did. [ You might be reading this wrong, but trust me, the real thrill is still ahead.^^]

“This is torture.“ I cry. “Fuck, don’t stoppp. Ohhh, daddy, please. Please.” He bites and tease, then drops it too. “Fuck.” My body sags against the door. My breath rushes, my tits rising up and down. My feet stumbles backward, my hands pressing into the wall beside me to hold my weight. Slicky wetness grease my feet and I look down to see I’ve made a filthy mess on the floor. He snorts. “Dirty girl.” He scorched down between my legs, hands on the wall, not touching. I might really die now.

He says proudly, looking to his left at his friends. I run the tip of my tongue over my top teeth, leaning over the bar and I look the sleazy prick right in his poo brown eyes. "Show me your dick, and if it's the biggest bastard I've ever seen, I'll let you touch my tits," I say in a cruel tone knowing full well that he has a small dick. It's been spreading around the clubhouse like a plague. He's the butt of many small dick jokes and the prick is too slow to realise they are all about him.

"Faster make me cum on pineapple then you can lick it clean after." He sped up, wrist snapping, the wet squelching sounds filling the room, obscene and hilarious at the same time. I laughed through a moan, grabbing his hair, yanking his head up. "Look at me while you fuck me with fruit. See how much I love making you do dirty shit?" His eyes were wild, pupils blown, cheeks flushed. "I see it. Fuck… I love it too. Cum for me… cum on this stupid thing."

His booming voice filled the air with glee, As he entertained us, setting spirits free. "Let's say old time jokes, shall we?" Chants of 'yes' sounded around the room. "Did you hear about the vampire who opened a bakery? He got into a lot of trouble because his cakes were always too bloody." The room erupted with laughter, a joyful sound, As we all shared in the mirth that went around. Stephanie chimed in with a witty remark, Adding to the humor, making the atmosphere spark. "Alpha Darwin, have you heard the one about the talking dog?