Funny Dirty Jokes For Adults Novels & Stories

“Yeah well, my sleeping pattern has been off-balance lately, so it's only natural that my eating habits will change too. And geez, I can't help being hungry all the time.” “I think you should cut back on the food a little. At this rate, you'll end up being the biggest person I know.” He teased, poking her belly. “You're such a dick.” “But you still love this dick.” “Are you serious right now? Tell me, does it look like I’m in the mood for any of your crap?” “Whoa, it was just a joke.” “Don't joke like that. Some jokes that are funny, right? And others that are just not ok. Guess which category yours falls into.”

"You think? Well, I don't have the big boobs you'd expect, but at least I'm very loyal. In fact, I've been with you all my life. You should think about it." "You know the answer." Alby replied looking amused. Logan shook his head slowly. "Why? Got the one I just forgot." "Your fault," Logan's eyebrow rose. "What did I do wrong?" "It's your fault that you have a tail between your thighs. You... Can't wake me up." The two grown men laughed. Typical jokes between them are always vulgar. Never far from the crotch. It's actually normal, especially if there is Keenan, it's been confirmed that their dirty words will continue.

He said this money is dirty, it is easy to tear up? Ha ha ha ha ...... "Hahahahahaha ......" "Hahahahahahahaha ......" Jane Zhendong wrinkled his brow at Jane Tong's unusual behavior, "Do you still want to be shameless! This kind of dirty money, you use you want to be shameless!" "You still laugh? You have no shame! You still have the nerve to laugh out?" "No!" Jane Tong steeply drank, roughly rasping, angrily, "I don't have shame! I have no shame either! I am the whore in your mouth!"

A group of thugs dragged me into an alley. In a panic, I called my boyfriend thirty-nine times, only to have him decline every single call. My whole body trembled as I struggled desperately to break free. Just as they were about to strip me naked, laughter suddenly erupted around me. One by one, they removed their masks and caps. I looked up stiffly and saw that every one of them was someone close to me. My younger brother, Caleb Bennett, scoffed. "This is hilarious, sis. You should've seen the look on your face. Did you seriously think someone was stalking you?" My older brother, Adrian Bennett, teased, "How are you still this easy to scare after all these years?" My best friend, Maya Grant

It felt good—light, like a breath of fresh air in this park where the wind rustled the leaves around us. We sat on the bench after that, side by side, our shoulders almost touching. He started telling these silly jokes—the kind that weren’t even funny, just dry and ridiculous, like “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” Corny as hell. But I laughed anyway, hard and genuine, because the real joke was how bad they were, how he delivered them with that straight face like he thought they were gold. It warmed me up inside, chasing away the chill for a bit.

one of the other Elders wondered making the rest laugh. These old men don’t even have teeth at the back. How the fuck do they still laugh in sync together in perfect harmony ? Although their laughs are too shrill for men to have. Ughh. Stupid whiny voice boxes. “Looks like she will be worth more dead than alive afterall,” another remarked and the rest of the assholes guffawed even louder at that. “She is nothing ! If she were in my toilet I wouldn't even bother flushing it. My bath mat means more to me than her,” another scumbag commented and then noises similar to cackling geese echoed throughout the place.

he says simply. I blink at him. “You always do.” He tilts his head. “You look like you could use a dumb joke.” “I really could.” He leans in. “Okay, what do you call a chicken that crossed the road, rolled in mud, and came back?” I stare at him. “A dirty double-crosser.” I snort. “That’s horrible.” He grins. “But you laughed.” “I did not.” He lifts a brow. “You giggled.”

"This man is sick." Lindy: I HAVE NEVER MET A MAN AS STUPID AND DIRTY AS YOU! Well too bad, I don't fit your standards. I'm a VERY old woman, with cane, white hairs and wrinkles. Milo smiled to himself, “I have way better jokes than that.” He sounded proud. Mill: That's cute. But you call that funny? Okay, I'm giving you a chance this time. But only one time. Ha-ha. See? I laughed. I laughed at your joke because your like a cute little hot ripe apple that's ready to be eaten.

snickering the golden boy threw his head back " God , how do you even fuck that bitch ? her hole is big enough to fit two of me or maybe your pencil c*ck is too small and you don't feel a thing " Some Longhorns gasped while the other snickered along with Jacob , hooting and jeering at Shotton . Understandably , Shotton who was being made the joke of the evening trembled in anger and the video shook even more but that lasted only for a few seconds , before it stabilised . " Oh yeah , you think that you are the shit huh , Knight ?" hollered Shotton " well news flash , you ain't on the top of the list anymore . "

she suggested while the rest just stared at the screen, or rather at me, crowded together. "I would rather take the matter in my own hands,” I muttered, low enough so that the rest didn't hear. Apparently, they still did. "Pun intended," my dad joked and Alpha Chris secretly gave him a high-five behind their wives' back. C’mon, Dad ! Mast*rbation jokes ? Seriously ? No one could feel as embarrassed as I did at the moment. It rivaled the ultra embarrassing bathroom meeting we all had a few days back. Mom glared at my dad who shrugged while Alpha Chris grinned. Sigh ! Like Beta, Like Alpha.