Funny Long Jokes

Book one of the Magnus series. A Fantasy Novel that brings Rex Magnus's struggle to life. After he was left by his birth parents, given to his grandmother, Iris who tries her best to shield Rex and bring him up to be the best he can be, he is constantly getting beaten down during his 17 years, soon he will be 18 and before he knows it, will unlock secrets he didn’t think could exist, he was part of a royal family of people who had mastered the skill of fusing their souls with dragons! This brings certain perks and power and he soon finds out, brings just as many negatives with it. He will meet new friends on his journey to claiming his birthright, some helpful and some with their own agendas and he hopefully can form a normal family after 18 years of separation. It isn’t long before he is challenged by creatures of shadow, beasts of legend and races of people that possess great power who want his for their own. Using his new found abilities and friends he will carve a path that will be remembered for centuries, being next in line for emperor over the land of Dracoterrum possessing the power of dragon should make it an easy task, right?

ZACH: I had loved Amber all my life, so when she turned of age, and her wolf didn't surface, I made the biggest decision of my life—I would claim her. It didn't matter to me if I was the first Alpha with a wolfless Luna in this generation. I still wanted her. I could win her in the Claiming, and I could protect her all her life. I was sure of that until reality struck, and a tragedy happened, leaving me crippled, unable to walk with my feet. My wolf was strong—still able to run on his paws—which was the exact opposite of my human. I became useless, just a shell of the man I was once. So tell me, how could I claim her? How could I protect her when I couldn't even stand on my own? AMBER: I had loved Zach all of my life. I was determined to be claimed by him—either as his fated or chosen mate. So even if my wolf didn't surface, I was still on cloud nine because he finally confessed he felt the same way. I was beyond ecstatic waiting for the Claiming when he could finally claim me. Everything was perfect until I woke up in a hospital bed, where I almost died from a car accident. I thought it was the worst thing that happened in my life until I met Zach again, and he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I survived the fatal crash, but I had no idea how long I could survive until my heart finally gave up from being shattered by the only man I ever wanted.

Ava, is a woman with big ambitions who will do her best to get them. She is capable of sacrificing anything, including the one she loves. Because of her dream, Ava had to leave. Harris is a man who is unconcerned about his own life. Everyday he will get drunk, as well as play with the hearts of the women he'll meet. When he met Ava, everything changed. He transformed into a decent man for Ava. Misty, on the other hand, is an obsessed hopeless romantic. Envy-filled woman, she was consumed by rage, allowing her to accomplish anything she wanted. Regardless of what will happen, she will do anything to make Ava miserable. Will Harris love be strong enough to wait Ava's return? Will they return to each other's arms when the right time comes? After everything Ava had to sacrifice, can she still choose to be with Harris?

My parents have been keeping a secret from me my entire life. It wasn't until the day before my 17th birthday that I discovered the truth of who--or should I say what--I am.When two wolves showed up outside my window, it was just the beginning of the revelation that would bring me to my destiny. I, Harlow Nightingale, am not an ordinary teenage girl. Rather, I am the newest in a long line of women spanning back hundreds of years with a specific task--to guard the wolves of this legendary pack and keep their secret shifting abilities safe from the world. Now, another pack has surfaced, one that wants my wolves dead. Will I be able to develop my powers quickly enough to keep my pack safe and protected?No matter who I thought I was before, my life is different now, and I must learn to live this magical life as the Mage of Wolves.

Adam Smith, Ceo of Smith enterprises, New York's most eligible bachelor, was having trouble sleeping since a few weeks. The sole reason for it was the increasing work pressure. His parents suggested him to get another assistant to ease his workload. Rejection after Rejection, no one seemed to be perfect for the position until a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl walked in for the interview. The first thing any interviewee would do when they meet their interviewer is to greet them with respect but instead of that Kathie Patterson decided to spank Mr. Smith's ass. Surely an innovative way to greet someone and say goodbye to their chance of getting selected but to her surprise, she was immediately hired as Mr. Smith's assistant. Even though Adam Smith had his worries about how she would handle all the work as she was a newbie, all his worries faded away when she started working. Always completing the work on time regardless of all the impossible deadlines. An innovative mind to come up with such great ideas. She certainly was out of this world. And the one thing Adam Smith didn't know about Kathie Patterson was that she indeed didn't belong to the earth.

Birthdays are supposed to be fun and pleasant. That has always been the case for Leilani Miller, a naive young lady, brought up in an orthodox home. On her 25th birthday, she agrees to try something new. This new adventure leaves a long lasting imprint on her. One wild night of passion leads to years of regret. Now, Leilani is a single mum. That's not all, her hot baby daddy wants her.

"She will come back," she promised. "She just needs time to sort her head out." "Not her heart?" The dry distinction made Charley wince. "I'm sure she loves you," she persisted. "She's just not ready to commit to marriage." If you just give her time, then I— Black eyebrows with a fascinating silken gloss gave her a curious look. "Are you actually standing there, Miss Jones, suggesting that I should wait for Adelina to sort her head out?" Well, was she? Lifting her chin, "If you love her—yes," she insisted. "Then you are a romantic fool because it is not going to happen." He moved suddenly, straightening away from the desk. "There is a wedding arranged for next Saturday morning, and I intend to make sure that it goes ahead." Without a bride? Charley stared at him. "You mean—you're going to find her and drag her back to marry you?" A silly kind of laugh left her throat at the very image of Adelina being dragged by this man down the church aisle, kicking and screaming. ‘No.’ Reaching behind him, his long fingers picked Adelina's letter up again—this time to fold it with slow, neat precision. "I mean to replace her with someone else."I want reparation for being taken for an idiot, and if that means putting you in Adelina's wedding dress and marrying you in her place, then that is what is going to happen."

Shane is my best kept secret. The more time that passes the tighter my hold on him gets. If my father thinks he can take my right to find my mate from me and sell me off to the highest bitter than he's got another thing coming. I'll take what I want and give the only thing he thinks I have of value to whoever I choose. And who do I choose? I choose Shane. Adea is the air I breathe. I won't let anyone come between us and I won't let the Moon Goddess try and decide who she gets to be with. Whether it be her father or destiny, no one will get in my way. Fate? Mate? These words mean nothing to me. No one wants us together, but the jokes on them, I'll decide my own destiny. Adea Biscoff is that destiny. In a new life where the curse has been broken, can everything unfold how it was supposed to? Will the star-crossed lovers finally have their chance? What happens when Shane remembers everything, but refuses to make the same mistake again? The tables have been turned and Shane realizes who the real villain has been all along. What if in this life, Shane demands she be the one to pay? ! Sexual and physical abuse may be triggering for survivors !

Natalie Taylor has one goal when she signs up as a companion at Dreams: to make a shit ton of money and get out fast. She's not looking for adventure or hoping for love and romance. But days into her moonlighting job, her quiet determination is shaken when she confronts her biggest problem yet—Levi Van Holt, heir to a mega-billion hotel chain and CEO of a gaming startup. Levi is everything she wants in a man. Gorgeous, wealthy and generous to boot. There's just one problem. He's her new boss... Harbouring a dark secret and nursing wounds from his past, Levi has one rule and one rule only for his companion: no falling in love. But with his desires continually tested, the more time he spends with Natalie, it doesn't take long for both their lives, real and secret, to converge, the lines between illusion and reality begin to blur, and the temptation to break his only rule becomes harder to resist. © 2022 Val Sims. All rights reserved. No part of this novel may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author and publishers.

Devin King was my first—well, everything. They say you never forget your first. Whoever said that was right because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him out of my head or my heart. I foolishly thought my heart wouldn’t miss what it couldn’t see, but I was wrong because I never forgot, not for one moment. You’re not supposed to kiss your best friend. You’re not supposed to give your virginities to one another, either—but we did. We were kids, teenagers, full of hormones and mixed emotions, but it felt right. He was the first boy to kiss me, the first boy to touch me and taste me in a way only a lover would. “Say you want to be mine….” He whispered while I shook in his arms. And I did. And then he wrecked me. After I trusted him and gave myself to him, he disappeared, left me in my , the scent of him still lingering on my skin, the taste of his kiss still fresh on my lips. He left me after the amazing night we shared after we became one another’s and disappeared without a word. Until one day ten years later he pops up like a rash as the newly appointed CEO of our firm. Was I shocked to see him standing in the office after a decade? Yes. Did I almost faint? Hell yes. My heart may have melted a little when he smiled right at me, but he wouldn’t ever know that—because I hated him. But here I am, the VP of an established publication firm standing in the CEO’s office handcuffed to the pompous face. Why are we handcuffed you ask? Well, that's a funny story...