Funny Lotr Quotes Novels & Stories

"Can you cut your crap and stop whining?" A growl from the back of the kink shop can be heard, passer-bys try not to look at the slender woman who stood quivering infront of her seemingly annoyed husband. "Hun, may I ask why we're here-","-Well one of the reasons is you're a bore" The atmosphere felt tight, heavy even. Snickering can be heard from afar and abit of chatter that can be obvious the topic is about them: sexually frustrated husband dragging his wife in a kink and lingerie shop. "Here-" The man took a garment from the rack that looked to be of a school uniform. It had a tiny crop top and a skirt that was as small as a belt. "-wear it or so help me, you will walk home"

“Where are you taking me?” I whimpered as the huge wolf carried me on his shoulders. After a couple of minutes, he put me down. Before I could blink, the huge white wolf shifted before me. The man who now stood in its place was handsome, muscular… and completely naked. * * * Elaine Rutherford has spent her entire life wishing for an escape from her dysfunctional family. But when her wish is granted in the form of being offered up as a human sacrifice to an elite village of werewolves…it wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. Every leap year, Stella’s Soul receives a mortal woman from the neighbouring city of Moonburn, just beyond the wall, to bear children for the chosen werewolf. And it just so happens this year is a leap year. On the next full moon, Elaine is set to be married to the handsome werewolf billionaire, Tyler Jane Moonstorm. Despite her doubts, she still hopes that this will be a better life than she’s used to. At least that’s what she thought…

Part 1: completed. Sequel: Completed || Clara, a human born to werewolf parents, is a notorious member of the White Soul Pack. Everybody is troubled by her even the alpha. So when she finds her mate, everyone is ecstatic except her. But she never knew her mate would lead her to her family and its deep dark secrets which were buried for years. ||

Marco Gabriel is the cold-hearted and arrogant CEO of Marc's Lux company, a man who is tormented by his past. When he hires Patricia as his personal secretary, he sees her as a sweet, innocent girl who is no threat to him or his organization. But little does he know that she is in fact a survivor- a ruthless, dark-hearted agent who will do anything to get revenge. Patricia may well be able to seduce her way to his heart but will the cost be too great ? The Seducing art of Patricia is a gripping and a compulsive thriller that will keep you up reading half the night and stay with you long after the final page is turned.

Aaron Morris had it all. Good looks, a beautiful girlfriend, good grades in college. He only had one problem. He was being stalked by a red-haired nightmare otherwise known as Bella Davis! She was the bane of his existence, a thorn on his side who won't leave him alone no matter what. Will he ever get rid of her or will she continue to annoy him with her unrequited love?*This is the spin-off of The Ugly One but can be read as a stand alone novel. However, I recommended you read that one first :)*

Who meets Prince Charming in an elevator while carrying their broken shoe? Lena Masterson was having a rough day. Her coffee pot exploded, her favorite heel broke on the way to work, her computer died, and her coworker sabotaged her performance review that she should have aced. To top it all off, she had to stay late. So when she ran into a handsome stranger at work, she was certain that it was the worst day of her life. Instead, it was the start of something wonderful. From the moment she nearly bowled the man over, she thought about him. She didn’t know anything about him, and could only assume that he was someone’s assistant. Still, the encounter left her with new self-confidence. She made a move assertive enough to get the attention of her boss’ boss, and be granted a new position as the personal paralegal of the head partner. This promotion soon led to an important trip to the Caribbean, where she saw a familiar face on the beach… Everything seemed perfect when she was in Aiden’s arms, but he was holding something back. Worse, Lena was keeping a secret from him as well. She knew that she couldn’t keep up her little white lie forever, but it turned out that Aiden’s secret was much bigger. Much much much bigger. A billion times bigger, in fact. Even though he treated her like Cinderella at the ball, it was possible that the billionaire playboy just thought of her as one of his “flavors of the week”. After saying goodbye with one last barefoot kiss and returning to the real world, there was a burning question on Lena’s mind: Did this Prince Charming love her as much as she loved him?

Lucy and Axel had plans to travel after they graduated high school. Two orphaned werewolves with no pack to show them who they are. When Axel’s twin sister comes looking for him their plans blow up. After everything they’ve gone through in their lives. Who can they trust and when should they fight.

It starts with a cringy encounter. Weird and silly, but that's what sealed their path. She believes a man like him wouldn't want a single mother. Perhaps he craves her experience in sexual activity. She felt herself to have been used and not worthy of much, but he sees her as the most beautiful existence that deserves to be loved. The love, the possessive nature of a mother for her child. His heart that couldn't stand injustice. Her revenge. His support. The quest to become the woman who wouldn't be treated as trash ever again. Their hot sex. Their aim to be one happy family after all their enemies falls… Jealousy… Join this adventure and have fun with this couple. Join my discord server: https://discord.gg/Q7tY3F8

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK THREE *While this book can be read as a standalone, I'd highly recommend reading books one (Alpha Gray) and two (Alpha Theo) for context before this book* JAX : I'm no stranger to one night stands. Lots of girls want a hook-up with an alpha, so why should this one be any different? Maybe it's because she's the best I ever had. Maybe it's because she refused to tell me anything about herself. We agreed to one night, no strings attached. The problem is, I can't get that night out of my head; I've been obsessed with finding this girl since. When she shows up at the squad complex for training, I feel like it's my lucky day- until my best friend introduces her as his sister and things get... complicated. I can't go against bro code, right? Even if Quinn is my dream girl. Even if there's a crazy attraction between us that's harder to resist every day. I'm so screwed.  ~ QUINN : One night. It was supposed to be one night of anonymous, meaningless with a stranger. I just wanted to have a good time and forget about my cheating ex. It definitely did the trick- I haven't thought about my ex since, but now I can't stop thinking about that night or the sexy stranger who had all the right moves. When I arrive at the complex for a fresh start, I'm shocked to see him again- and even more surprised to find out that he's not only an alpha, but also one of my brother's best friends. Theo would Jax if he found out about that night. He can never know- which means I have to keep my distance. Even if I can't stop fantasizing about Jax. Even if it kills me.

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.