Funny Lotr Quotes Novels & Stories

Hell, this was a textbook example of hubris. Javier sniggered. “Goddamn. You really like the smell of your own farts, don’t you?” Thorin sneered. “What am I supposed to do when my farts smell better than everyone else’s cologne without even trying? No one’s ever been able to top me anyway. God, sometimes I feel so tired of winning and being at the top.” He was insufferable. A totally insufferable piece of sh*t who was just begging for someone to rearrange his face. Before Javier could rise to the occasion, though, someone else made their move.

“A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day.” - Aragorn, The Lord Of The Rings #3 The Return Of The King. ~ CASPIAN ~ Night finally comes. The sun has long faded away, now replaced by a moon shining so brightly over the war fields just beyond the pack river. The fields separate the river from the boundary on the east side, and everyone—including Jocelyn—is already out here.

Petrusia’s venom was just noise. Even Naila stirred in the back of my mind. 'That one’s all frost and no fire. Childish. Petty.' 'Agreed.' “Let her wait in her frozen castle,” I said aloud, finally smiling. Lotanni snickered. “See, this is why you’re second-in-command. That deadpan delivery? Flawless.” “Thanks,” I said. “I’ve had practice.” We all laughed, letting the tension break. Nyomei and Lotanni peeled off toward their shared quarters, waving behind them.

he conceded, "but you play a part; I'm sure of it. I can feel it; like an itch just below my skin." "Oh, I hate those itches," I groaned. "You scratch and scratch and nothing helps." I glanced over and saw him giving me an exasperated look. "I know you're not being literal. I was just trying for some levity." "Next time you should try harder." He grimaced. "Or not at all." "Wonderful." I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for the tip, Legolas." "Do not make Lord of the Rings jokes with me," he said seriously. "We Fey, hate that."

His comment made the 30 over Rank 3 Mad Ox Dark Race beings laugh even louder. "Hahahaha!" It was as though they had never heard such a hilarious joke before. "Hey human, I guess you won't be scared unless you see your life flash before you. How dare you spout out big words when you're about to be our food?" Lucas' stunning face let out a smile as he said, "I won't let out a single tear even if death awaits me. That’s because that time will never come."

Lorien felt like it was hilarious, he looked at Rudy and said, "You're just second-rate trash that only knows how to brag, and he's just an idiot who doesn't think before he acts. No wonder you're friends, you both are an amazing pairing!" After he said that, the warriors from Golden Continent all laughed uproariously. They felt like Fane's actions were just crazy. They looked at Fane like they were looking at an idiot. Hearing all of that, Rudy was not angry at all.

I traced a constellation with a glint in my eyes, “It’s my motto, maybe you should make it yours too” I tilted my head to give him a genuine smile. I saw his wheels turning in his head for a while through his green orbs, then he broke into small chuckles, shaking his head. I blinked my eyes as to why he was laughing. We were talking serious things right before he began chortling. Did I say something funny? “Why’re you laughing?” I asked. He silenced his chuckles to look at me biting his lips preventing any more. “No wonder you were called the ‘Quote Schmuck’” he quoted.

He continued to mock my situation until finally, I talked back. “I already lost her one time, Aragorn. I will do everything to prevent that from happening again,” I responded. With that, the mocking laughter that was echoing inside my head turned into a mild chuckle. 'You and your mate are both stubborn. You were both such a pain in the ass.' “You bet.” 'Just make sure that Elora would not catch you spying on her. If she did, then you should kiss your sex life goodbye. She would definitely be mad at you.'

“It is quite fascinating how easily some things are dismissed when they do not fit the narrative one wishes to tell.” Rosana’s eyes narrowed slightly. The Empress, however, had grown weary of the conversation. “This discussion is over.” With that, she stood, prompting Rosana and Damien to follow. As they stood to leave, Theoden remained seated, swirling the last of his wine in his goblet with slow, deliberate movements. His eyes flickered toward me, the corners of his lips curling in amusement. “So quiet, Lady Sage.” His voice was smooth, deceptively gentle. “I must say, it does not suit you.”

His voice was like scraping knives Disregarding the skin desperately in need of moisturizer, I instantly hated Dumah. “He isn't Miss Manners either,” I scoffed. “So what are you? A Nazgul? Is Samael Sauron and I some wayward hobbit?” Dumah wheezed with laughter. “ITS BRAINS ARE ADDLED, I SEE. KNOCK IT ABOUT ONE TOO MANY TIMES ON THE DEATHBED, ROT LORD?”