Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

He is loathsome, arrogant and handsome doctor with uncouth mouth. She is a simple sales girl. Being straightforward and brave, she shamelessly pursued him, sending him gifts, meals, flowers and tried to get close to him. She was humiliated when his staff gossiped about her and she retreated. Then he rejected her and told her they could only be friends. She tried her best to avoid him but no matter how much she tried they frequently cross paths. Suddenly one day he told her. "Be my girlfriend!" What a mess!

For the erotica readers. Forbidden Desires is the erotica compilation for you then. It is filled with all sorts of one-shots that will satiate your dirty mind. From threesomes to bxg, gxg one shot. Hot stepfathers, and naughty nannies that can't resist their employer. And from the innocent girl who loves all three brothers - Katherine Pierce has nothing on her. Read Forbidden Desires today you won't regret it.

Ever read a story that made you laugh and cry hard?Jace Roger is the world's biggest flirt and has always succeeded in getting what he wanted with little to no effort at all. He just knew all the right moves and all the right words to say when it came to getting women to do what he wanted. His perfect bachelor world crashes when Ashley comes into his sights. When he is denied and given no reward for his efforts, Jace begins to fear that he has met his match. Determined to get Ashley to at least notice him, he spends every waking moment unleashing every trick in the book to get her to fall for him. In his mission of a lifetime, he begins to discover the very meaning of life and what it means to actually try and put effort in a relationship. Jace's world is turned upside down and he has no idea what to do next. Will he run for the hills in the end or will he begin enjoying her play Hard To Get?

Luka was the best Alpha the Brightwater Pack ever had. That is, until he loses his mate and everything comes crashing down. Having lost everything he loved and his one real reason for living, he attempts suicide on a human territory, when Victoria intervenes and ruin his plans. She makes it her duty to help the man that 'couldn't be saved', after he constantly refuses her help. What happens when she uncovers his secrets one by one? Will Victoria give up on him, or will she surprise them both? Who would've thought that she could save him just in the nick of time? Or does she....

My family has always considered me a harbinger of misfortune. It's all because I can see a countdown to my relatives' deaths. I tell them when my grandfather, father, and mother will die. It all comes true due to various accidents. My three brothers hate me to the core because they think I cursed my parents and grandfather. My mother actually dies after giving birth to my younger sister, but my brothers dote on her to no end. They say she's their lucky star because everything goes well for the family after she's born. But didn't Mom die while giving birth to her? On my 18th birthday, I see my death countdown when I look at myself in the mirror. I buy an urn I like and prepare a meal. I want to have one last meal with my brothers, but none of them show up even when the timer hits zero…

Her hair is a lustrous blond. Her eyes are flashing blue-violet. She is sweet and childlike. They call her Angelina. Though it doesn't feel right. How can she tell them that underneath her innocent personality she feels something more? Something wild. Something dangerous. Something she had been before. But she doesn't understand. ____ He knows she has secrets. Underneath her timid personality. She is something more. She is someone he will be willing to explore. Something he is willing to expose. He calls her Angel. His Angelina.

WARNING: The female lead is not a weak, spineless doormat. She’s bold, funny, slightly fearless and witty as hell. Her husband is an absolute fool and her ex-fiancé is a full fledged red flag who is completely obsessed with her. Thanks for reading!! *** At the age of 18, Amani’s fiancé looked her in the eyes and called her “the trash.” On top of that, he proceeded to call off their engagement because he found a more beautiful and glamorous woman. Heartbroken and shattered, she gets married to Henry Wilson a few years later and he turns out to be an abuser and a cheat. Their son is diagnosed with stage four cancer and while he breathes his last on his deathbed, Henry is busy frolicking around town with his new secretary. Angry beyond measure, she files for divorce. Amani’s plan after divorce is to remain totally man-free for the rest of her life, but that plan turns to dust when the man who shattered her heart at 18 storms back into her life like a violent earthquake. Bhyron Macaulay is his name – New York’s most enigmatic billionaire bachelor, gorgeous as a demon and every woman’s dream man. One thing about him? He hates debtors. And Amani’s late parents owe him the sum of twenty million dollars. Bhyron has only one plan — to make sure Amani becomes his wife whether by consent or by force, and he plans to use that debt as leverage. When dark, haunting secrets about their pasts start to fly and Amani begins to feel a burning attraction for a man she once swore she hates, who will fall first? The heartless billionaire or the woman he once abandoned…?

"We'll exchange your blood with your sister's. From now on, Jenna will have your scent. She'll go to the Blood Shadow Pack in your place and become Lionel's Luna." Mom said. At this moment I was tightened in a surgery bed. My face filled with disbelief. That was ridiculous! Jenna would replace me to marry my mate?! "No! Lionel is MY MATE!" I screamed. "What about me? What will happen to me?!" "Your father has made his decision. There's no room for backing out now," Mom said, "You're too ordinary, too quiet, my dear, you can't be a good Luna. Lionel will eventually get bored of you and abandon you, and it will also break the relationship between our two Packs. But Jenna is different. She's born a rightful Luna." Mod touched my face but I couldn't feel any warmth from her hand. "No!!!" Tears welled up in my eyes. "No... mom, please..." Mom sighed. She turned around and told the doctor to start the operation. No matter how much I cried or begged, she never looked back at me again. I felt the thick, cold needle piercing my veins, my blood was also draining out ... From now on, I lost my scent, my mate, and even my name...

Michael Morris has found the perfect girl in Allison Kennemore--she is sweet, funny, beautiful, and everyone thinks they're so cute together. But Michael is lying to himself. His problem is compounded when he meets Allison's charming, handsome, and openly gay sibling Jacob. When Allison discovers that Michael is more interested in Jacob than he is in her, she is devastated. To get back at him, she pretends to be ignorant of his secret and ramps up her seduction to make him squirm. Michael spent most of his teens denying his true self and has learned to hide it well. When Jacob proves to be too much of a temptation, Allison tells him she wants to take their relationship to the next level. Unfortunately, being Allison's perfect boyfriend is the only way Michael can get closer to the one he really wants. If he tells Alison the truth, he might lose his only link to Jacob. When Jacob starts to notice him as Allison pushes for more, Michael will have to decide if he is ready to embrace his true self or lose his opportunity to make a true connection with someone who wants him as himself.

Reggie is a concubus doing her part in the fight against the false elites. While doing recon for the resistance, she was attacked by ex-trackers. With little memory, aside from her mission, the unique concubus is working for more than just the safety of her people. She is working to find out who she is and where she belongs. Once she returns to the resistance, she finds out her true purpose, to complete a powerful spell that will help in the coming battle with the false elites... and die. In this final installment of the Vasilia Series, all questions will be answered and all vengeance will be brought about. Before reading this, make sure to catch up to the story so far with The Demon Queen's Desire and The Demon Queen's Duty.