Funny Patrick Novels & Stories

My fiancee, Isabelle Bailey, engages in a passionate kiss with her stage partner, Shawn Sanders, in a theater play. While the audience is wholly touched by the romance depicted by the main characters of the play, I know for a fact that the actual script doesn't feature the kissing scene at all. Guilt flickers across Isabelle's face at my confrontation. But she argues, "We were just acting! Are you saying that I can't act out romance scenes anymore?" I no longer demand answers from Isabelle like a hysterical fool. Instead, I give the roses that are cultivated from a new breed to the background actors. After leaving the afterparty, I call my mentor, Patrick White. "Professor, I'm willing to travel to the northwest to plant roses there."

A comedy of errors, that offers second chances for first love in this BDSM Mafia, Reverse Harem Romance. In that moment of embarrassment, fear and dread, I do the unthinkable…….. I jump into the black clad stranger's arms, and kiss him with all the drama of a soap opera. Yes, I meant it to be for show to avoid my stalker, but .....Let’s just say it’s not all fake when I practically swoon like the well-to-do British lady I’m impersonating. “Renfield tricked me,” I pant, pointing my shaking finger at the obnoxious blonde man, literally crying, this is all so hysterical to him. “Dracula's spell is too powerful. I can't fight it, go! Go find Van Helsing!" How did this happen? Nicky! That’s right, this is all my orphan brother, Roman Nikolai Cross’ fault! Ever since that tweedle twap jerk named me after the bad luck stray cat outside our orphanage, there is no end to the comedy of errors that is my life. I was hoping to avoid the so tragic it’s funny or so funny it’s tragic stigma with my second chance on life, but no such luck with his latest shenanigans.

Alex Redwood your typical Alpha. Strong, impossibly attractive, and funny, yet stern when needed. And Grayson, she's... Well, the exact same. Except for the fact that she wants nothing to do with him, yet he'll do anything for her. Love can be such a strange thing... Will she let go of her hatred for him and allow herself to accept him and love him? Read to find out!

Amy is a twenty three year-old girl who has everything in her life planned. She is focused on her work and achieving great things in her life. When she meets Jace, a hot and funny wolf, everything in her world is turned upside down. Jace tries to avoid her but he can't seem to stay away from her. She is fated for him. She is his awakening force...

“She's rich, he's a bad boy, a burglar. She's submissive, he's tractable. She's caged, he's wild. She yearns for freedom, his life is adventurous. As the tale says "Opposite attracts!" But then there's this rich man who's overly obsessed with the innocent heiress. A sweet, romantic, funny story filled with lots of action and love but with dark side, abuse and Dark Romance.” 18+ Hot Steamy scenes!

Suzanne O'Izzy is a klutzy kind of girl who always wanted to be a hero. Due to the fact that the city she lived in, Herotapolis, had an organization named Hero league that trained heroes, her dream could easily be fulfilled. But when the time for her to take the entrance exam came, Hero league were in battle with villains known as the rogue heroes hence her and the other students in her school who applied were given scholarships to train at Superhero high.Suzanne gets recruited in Squad 10 and finds out that before she can save the world doing heroic deeds she must first be skillful at things and get along with her teammates. It really didn't help matters when the three boys also assigned as her teammates never saw eye to eye on things.Plus E-rank exam was nearing. They had to learn how to get along to move a step up in the hero world. Amidst all quarrels and difficulties, Squad 10 managed to scrape through and enter E-ranks, finally they could start going on missions.Another teammate, a medical corp, was assigned to them. Every Squad in E-rank had one.It was then Suzanne knew her hero life had just begun.

In a world where the gods of legend have become actual fact, a few misnomers from another planet seek to simply live their lives in peace. If you could choose one word from the dictionary, one that simply defines you to the core of your soul, what would you say your definition is?

Rosalie sister Rebecca is getting married and her fiancé Ben comes from a very wealthy family. His brother Julius is a billionaire bad boy and his best man. When he meets the maid of honor (Rosalie) sparks fly. Her quick wit, raw talent for the cello, and captivating beauty leaves him wanting to leave his rambling ways behind forever but she wants no part in being with a play boy. She isn’t impressed with fame and fortune and she’s nothing like the women he’s use to. Planning the wedding of the century and celebrating each moment leaves Rosalie and Julius falling into each others arms-but can he keep her there? This romantic comedy will leave your heart racing with wild passion and laughing along the way.

"What about her?" Andre asked."Who?" I asked he motioned to a group of women specifically the one sitting down, I couldnt really see her because of the dim lights and the group of friends she had around her."No,""Why not?" Jason asked I took another sip before saying."She is sitting with her friends,""And?" Andre asked."Her friends are drunk,""And?" Jason asked confused."She is the only one with a beer and look at how she continuously checks her phone every five second,""And?""The beer isn't strong which means she is the designated driver her friends are drunk which means she has to leave soon, and the phone just shows that she would rather be anywhere but here, like she has much more important things to do. Which let's me know she probably won't give me the time of day because I'm not the most important thing in her life right now,""She is the one, she is the one you got to date"

"You are nothing but a Sperm Donor." "But I am your Sperm Donor." After helping deliver dozens of babies into the world, midwife Anna Johnson is longing for her child. Since her luck has always proven itself unuseful in bed, she turns to sperm donation as one last futile attempt to have a child. The donor she chooses from the catalog seems to be the perfect match - cute, college-educated, creamy, topped with a pair of the most mesmerizing brown eyes she's ever seen. Little does Anna know that the man behind the file is entirely unaware of this whole ordeal, as a cause of a drunken dare. When Daniel Williams finds out about this, things are bound to go down. WATTPAD BEINGZANYAROSS