Funny Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

He pouted. "I learned them online. Online, they say these are the top pick-up lines that will make your wife happier and love you more." "It turns out they're all lies." Kane sighed in disappointment, hanging his head. Unable to bear seeing him sad, Lani comforted him. "They're great, I like them. I'm just surprised you could come up with such sweet lines." Kane's eyes lit up with delight. "Really? Then I'll say them every day from now on!"

"Hey baby, what do I have to do to get a FIX of you?" "I see you like FIX stuff. Lucky you! I have a problem that only you can FIX." "I've seen you here before. If you're addicted to the coffee, I can FIX that and get you addicted to me instead." They would be worse if the person throwing out the line didn't enunciate the name FIX so much, but because they did, it always turned from creepy and sad, to hilarious. At least it was funny my first year anyway. It didn't stop me from going there though, and as their coffee wasn't awful, I was a frequent visitor.

I’m not expecting anything because I know it will only manage to hurt me when he didn’t meet my expectations but heck, how can I not expect when he’s giving me all the reason to do so? “Did you sleep well?” He asked me. I looked at him and shook my head. “No. You?” I asked. He chuckled. “Figures. How can you sleep well when you’re running crazily in my mind?” He told me and I couldn’t help but laugh. His pickup lines are the corniest yet the cutest. “Hey! I was being sweet here!” He beamed and I laughed even louder. “Have I ever told you how cute you are?” I asked him and he narrowed his eyes on me for a split second before focusing on the road again.

I asked with a stupid smile impossible to be erased from my face. He chuckled and kissed my cheek. “Because you light up my dark sky with different colors?” I scoffed and laughed it off. “What a corny pick-up line,” I mumbled making him laugh as well. He hugged me tighter and kissed my temple. “I’m not dreaming, right?” he whispered. “I am not going to wake up now and see that everything is a dream, right?”

‘Huh? Alex – ‘I am working on my pick-up lines. How is this?’ ‘Pathetic.’ I replied honestly. The swift topic change didn’t go unnoticed by me. ‘How about this – Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me.’ I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at reading it. A billionaire working on pickup lines? Just wave some dollars in front of her and she’ll be all yours. ‘You can do better. Why working on it though? For Diana?’

*wink*' The text was supposed to a flirty pick-up line or something funny. Unfortunately, my brain had still not changed gears and the only words my eyes highlighted were –I have been told. Told by who? How many girls had he massaged? Oh yes, he's a player, the count would be over the fifties. Again impulsively I typed. 'Oh yeah of course you have been told, I forgot you were a player. I can manage, thank you very much.'

Is there anything that he would do just to let me forgive him? He shook his head while laughing. He couldn’t believe himself as well how he did that. “Fucking internet. I searched for pick-up lines and poetry lines that could make you smile but guess I am wrong. Fuck! I don’t want to spend that long on the internet anymore. It doesn't even help. You are just making fun of me.”

“Duh mister, I won't introduce you with someone who's just sixteen or seventeen years old, what is that pedophile? But of course, age doesn't matter for those who truly love each other” "Naks pick-up line ma'am?" "Yes you want me to pull your testicles?" “What the—”, hahahahahahahahaha I really can't stop laughing What is this woman saying? It's so gross hahahahahahahahaha "Hehe just a joke, but do you know Alexa Eunice Wilzt?" “H-Ha? Who's that?" "Oh hehe you can't fool me mister, you're obvious, so how did you meet her?"

she declared. "Geez, you could've given me a heads-up! You nearly gave me a heart attack," Bob grumbled. "Haha, my bad!" "It’s fine. I’d give you all my blood if you asked for it. Heck, I’d give you my life," Bob added, trying to sound smooth. "Haha, you’re hilarious. Do you actually use those cheesy lines to pick up girls?" Emely asked with a smirk. "Yeah... how did you know?" "No wonder you're still single. Your lines are way too flashy. Take my advice: bury that one and never use it again," Emely said, grinning.

“If a guy tries one of those cringy pickup lines, we all freeze and go: ‘You can see us?’ like we’re ghosts. Then we ran towards him with crazy laughter.” I wiggled my eyebrows at them with all the enthusiasm of a sleep-deprived squirrel. Kate looked over her shoulder at me, laughing. “Where do you get these crazy inspirations from?” “From one crazy chick on I***a.gram reels,” I said honestly. “She’s a gift from the chaotic gods.” I don't want to take credit for something that isn't my own creation. “I’ve used a bunch of her stuff. Works like a charm – guys run off like scared weasels. Which, obviously, is the goal.”