Funny Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

“You look even better up close,” he drawls, that Midwestern accent curling around the words. “Huh?” “You’re the girl of my dreams,” Jared Beaumont says matter‑of‑factly. That has to be the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard. “You can’t be serious. Who has that line ever worked on?”

"He's a shy guy. But I seriously want to have it for myself." Angel turned around. Looked at him. Her face was blank. "He's your brother," I said. "Yes. You're right." He nodded. "We know that blood is thicker than water. But I'm so sure it's not thicker than that thick ass of yours." The guys behind him on the line started shouting. Whistling. Hailing him like he just said something genius. Some of them were laughing. Some were clapping. I felt my face get warm. It was a stupid pickup line. Really stupid. But something about it made me blush. Maybe because no one has ever said anything like that to me before. Maybe because for the first time, someone was complimenting my body instead of mak

I sigh sadly. "I feel like a library card since I've been totally checking you out!" He exclaims, again. "Did you notice that I'm like a best seller? Currently unavailable." I raise my eyebrow. "If you were a McDonald's burger, you'd be the McGorgeous." Lame Alert! "Thanks, Ronald, but I've already talked to enough clowns tonight." I scoff. "Excuse me, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?" "Not as much as that pick-up line smells like desperation." I laugh so loud after this.

But he sounded as fresh as ever throwing cheesy pickup lines. "Did you call to check up on me, angel?" He asked with a hint of tease in his voice. That guy is unpredictable. "Why in the world would I do that?" I asked. "Ouch. You should at least learn to care about other's feelings." He said in fake hurtful voice. If only he knew what he was saying. "What did you eat that made you so cheery?" I asked changing the topic. I heard him laugh at that. "You really wanna know?" He asked.

" I am sorry, once again." "It's fine." I replied. "Can I have your number to check up on you?" He asked, and I smiled inwardly. Such a poor pick up line. Many of these guys didn't know how to deliver smooth lines. I smiled politely, " I'm fine, thanks for trying to check up on me." I replied, and walked away quietly.