Funny Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

“We could do that.” “I love it when they’re so confident.” I shook my head, taking a deep breath in a bid to regain my bearings. And to think that was the dumbest pick-up line I’d ever heard. He wiggled the five hundred dollar bill in front of my eyes. “Um, hello? I’m not playing.” “Fine,” I groaned, snatching the five hundred dollars from his hand. “I will bet five hundred dollars on not getting your disgusting cock anywhere near me tonight.”

His grin widened, all easy charm and relief that I was talking to him. “You remember that?” “How could I forget? It was the single worst, most cocky, most ridiculous pick-up line I’d ever heard.” I shook my head, still laughing. “I almost poured my drink on you.” “But you didn’t,” he pointed out, flagging down the bartender and pointing to my glass for a refill. We both laughed now, the tension from earlier in the office momentarily forgotten in the shared stupid memory. The laughter faded into a comfortable silence and I swirled the whiskey in my glass.

It was not every day when you got to see your calm and patient girl fuming in anger. “Wow! You’re now enjoying this. Of course, you will be, after all, that I’m that stupid who is missing you like an idiot while you don’t give a damn…” “Your heart and you both know that I miss you more than anything,” Brandon said, cutting her in between. “I miss you too.” Sophia admitted. “I was wondering if you’re an artist?” “Excuse me? What?” “Because you are so good at drawing me in.” Sophia said, some random pick-up lines. Brandon was really off-guarded by this, and it took him a while to understand that Sophia really threw some cheesy lines at him, and the very next moment, he started laughing.

It says, “Look, I hate to interrupt your night out, but what I have to tell you is important.” I respond, “Lol. Fine, I will play along for now. I am bored anyway.” He types quickly, “You have to get out of this bar now. Don’t look around, just go quickly.” Just who does this guy think he is? What the hell kind of request is that anyway? “Dude, seriously. You need better pickup lines. I don’t give a fuck who you are because you are not my boss, so go fuckoff.” Yeah, I might have been a bit rude, but seriously, who does he think he is?

But I wasn't any less either. Enriched with sassy humor, wittiness, and a sharp tongue that can bite the life out of you, I once had boys lined up for me, but every one of them had left me disappointed (Just like Rudransh did!). For a year or more, it will be all good with cheesy pick-up lines, butterflies in the stomach, and little surprises here and there, but as time passes and we get closer it will turn out to be plain-ass nothing.

“You’re not any woman. I grabbed you because you’ve been in my head for the last damn month and it’s drivin’ me crazy. Who are you?” Macie snorted. “That is the worst pick up line I’ve ever heard.” Those blue, blue eyes narrowed. “That wasn’t a pick up line.” “Good thing, because it sure as hell isn’t working.” “Look. Let’s start over. I’m an artist. And I’d like—” “—to show me your etchings?” She snickered. “Har har. I really am an artist.” “Yeah? So was the last guy I was involved with. Been there, done that, have the tie-dyed T-shirt and the roach clip to prove it. Move along, Picasso.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you trying to make me fall for you? Is that what this is?” I burst out laughing and rolled my eyes. “If it’s really not obvious then I’mgoing6 to have to bring back the pick-up lines.” “You like those lines, huh? Do they work for you a lot?” she asked, taking a sip of her wine as the waitress set it on the table. I nodded in answer. “Usually they never fail. You’re really denting my ego here, cupcake. Maybe you should cut me a little slack.” “Hmm, I don’t think so. Where would be the fun in that? You know you love me rejecting you.” She narrowed her eyes at me playfully as she leant back in her chair and studied her menu.

“Or I’ll have to fire you.” “What?!” I yelped. “You can’t do that! I’ll be doomed!” Panic shot through me instantly. “Fine, fine! I’ll show up!” He laughed, a deep, rich sound that made my stomach flutter. “Don’t worry,” he said, still grinning. “I’ll make sure you don’t end up out on the streets—just in my heart instead.” I know that smooth, ridiculous line was a pick-up line but damn. That laugh of his—warm, effortless, confident. God help me.

There, honesty is the best policy. "You're like the ice. You're ice prince." I'm vomiting words right now, even telling him the nickname I invented for him. That's it. Stop, Evie. Stop. Shut up. Shut uppp! "Maybe I can warm you up with a date?" Bahahahaha what a cheesy come back. Is this one of those lame pick up line? The one you used during your high school era? Which is... what? Twenty years ago? Bahahahaha! "You're weird." I am still laughing when he fixes himself back to the steering wheel and gives a signal to bring the car back to the main road.

Why? Because [punchline]. | As Kate accessed the feature, she was presented with some of the most popular pick-up lines from across the country. Ecto would deliver the first half, she would press NEXT, and he would reveal the punchline. Some of her favorites were: | Is your name Goggle? … ’cause you’ve got everything I’m searching for. | Is your name wi-fi? … ’cause I’m really feeling a connection. | Is Geometry your favorite subject?