Funny Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

I can guarantee you that my chat up lines are worse than anything you've ever heard! "spill Jones!" fuck her cheeky side is such a turn on. "haha, ok ok, feel my shirt. know what it's made of? boyfriend material!" "that's brilliant, another one?" "Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you got the nicest set of buns I've ever seen!" she's laughing so hard that she has tears in her eyes and her laugh is music to my ears. "now your turn!" "I've only ever said a chat-up line to someone once and that was because I lost a bet but it was... I think there's something wrong with my phone. your numbers not in there!"

he whispered. I threw back my head and laughed. “What the heck are you talking about?” I asked and laughed once again. Not satisfied, I hit him on his shoulders a couple of times. Playfully. “Aw…now, you're giving me your corny pick up lines. It won’t work on me, alright?” My hands stopped mid-air when I noticed Alpha Hughg watching me. I cleared my throat and put my hands at my side. “So…where is your next destination?”

Her question broke the tranquil silence, and I couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Yeah," I replied, my breath gently brushing against her back. "Couldn't wait to be in the presence of the amazing chef who insists on making every day special." She smiled, her shoulder shook with my small compliment, as she turned around, letting our eyes met, "You're becoming very good with your pick-up lines these days Mr., I'm very impressed."- She spoke, as she threw her arms around my shoulder, grinded slyly. "Pick up lines? I never had to use these stupid pick up lines on another since my interest were never on another woman except my woman who is staring at me with all love in her eyes."

I sigh sadly. "I feel like a library card since I've been totally checking you out!" He exclaims, again. "Did you notice that I'm like a best seller? Currently unavailable." I raise my eyebrow. "If you were a McDonald's burger, you'd be the McGorgeous." Lame Alert! "Thanks, Ronald, but I've already talked to enough clowns tonight." I scoff. "Excuse me, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?" "Not as much as that pick-up line smells like desperation." I laugh so loud after this.

“What about this? I will try not to sneak into your room at night and suffocate you with your own stinking socks?” I sneered at him, clenching my fists. Leaning his head back, he busted out laughing, and I began to think he was missing some vital component in that empty head of his. Or is his mind just drifting? “Oh, I don’t know. I think that sounds interesting; I'd like you to try that!” My jaw almost hit the floor, and the burn in my cheeks spread like wildfire when I caught up. Quickly, I shut my mouth and glared at him. What the hell is wrong with this guy? Cheesy pick-up lines? Now? He definitely needs new antennas!

“And I want to court you to be my girlfriend.” Even worse! I shrugged my head in disapproval. “You’re joking.” “Do I look like it?” “You don’t look like a clown but damn, you have a talent to be one,” I spat in annoyance. “What did you even saw in me? I’m not even beautiful!” “You are! I was in fact, blinded by your dazzling beauty,” I frowned at his clichéd pickup line. It was so cheesy I wanted to puke again right now to turn him off. I always hated awkward moments like this.

He’s pretty cute with his jet black hair that was styled perfectly with gel and his hazel eyes. “Hey, beautiful. You work around here?” The cute guy asked. Is that even a question? Why will I be in a multi-billion company on a Tuesday morning dressed for work and in an elevator if I don’t work here? Some people are just a higher definition of stupid. Seriously, who invented that crappy pickup line. Is that suppose to sweep me off my feet and make me fall for him? I mentally rolled my eyes at how stupid some guys can get. “Hey, is it that what it looks like?” I asked with a small smile.

But he sounded as fresh as ever throwing cheesy pickup lines. "Did you call to check up on me, angel?" He asked with a hint of tease in his voice. That guy is unpredictable. "Why in the world would I do that?" I asked. "Ouch. You should at least learn to care about other's feelings." He said in fake hurtful voice. If only he knew what he was saying. "What did you eat that made you so cheery?" I asked changing the topic. I heard him laugh at that. "You really wanna know?" He asked.

“Fuck, are you a lady at all?” “What? You want me to blush?” She asked sarcastically “Of course any lady will be falling at their feet just to hear me say that to them” “Then go to any lay cause I'm not them” She glared pushing my head, “Your hand is even strong” I grumbled “Learn new words, your pick-up lines are retarded” She said savagely “Aish……” I groaned and tried to stand up but she'd pushed my head back, “Learn new lines, these ones are not making me blush anymore”

I pulled my hand back before someone noticed this embarrassing situation. I took another shot and looked at her again who was pouring herself another glass of scotch. “You look like someone I know.” Suddenly, she started laughing, and I looked at her in pure amazement. Though she was making fun of me, her laughter mesmerized me. It was soothing music to my ear. “Don't you think it has become an old pickup line, Alpha Alexei?” I pressed my lips together and picked up the last glass and gulped it down before answering her.