Funny Profile Pics Novels & Stories

She installed the app, helping me set it all up, while I busied myself with reading more of her posts. “Alright, all done. I’ve added myself,” she announced, handing me back my device. I saw that she had used Jordan, instead of Julain, and I smirked. “All that’s left is a profile picture,” I hummed, scrolled my gallery for a picture of my car, and cropped it, saving it as my profile picture. “There,” I showed her. She scoffed. “You’re such a guy. You can’t use a car as your profile pic, it’s too…tacky,” I raised a questioning brow. “Why not…a picture of me?” She batted her eyelashes at me.

"His profile picture is a guy with eight-pack abs. His name is a guy's name too." Avery said, "Eric, a profile picture doesn't mean that it's the person's true identity! Since the person who introduced her to your parents said that she's a girl, I don't think there's a mistake."

A message bubble lit up under his name, cheerful and oblivious. Just another one of his dry, stupid jokes—something about his dinner being so terrible he was convinced the restaurant was trying to assassinate him with undercooked chicken. He'd probably attached one of those ridiculous GIFs he was always finding, something animated and silly that was meant to make me laugh.

Suddenly they all seemed to think it was funny to post their bums and bra clad boobs as their profile pictures, asking the rest of us what we thought the lead character would like to do to that. Mostly I was just thinking what I would like to do the all the shapely figures I was being teased with. My curious friend though, did not seem to be joining in, I admit I was a bit disappointed as out of all the others she had always intrigued me most. She seemed to have a very sweet nature, her comments were always kind and fair and I was eager to put a face to her name.

"It's because I have watched your shows. You only say funny things that I can't picture you in a serious mode." He gives me a proud look. "I don't like it one bit." He looked to me like he enjoyed those sick jokes. It wasn't only me but the number of followers he had spoke for him. With over 1.3 million followers, he certainly had hungry people to feed. They weren't just there to listen to his sick jokes, they were there to watch him flex his muscles every morning. It wasn't like I intentionally wanted to research about him but curiosity had the best of me. I only wanted to look at the i***a pictures of Hear but I found myself drifting to the rest of her siblings.

"Baby, the second a looker like you upload a thirst trap on a hookup site, the floodgates open." I hesitated, then tapped on the message requests. My eyes widened at the sheer number of profile pictures featuring shirtless dudes—most of them taken in bathroom mirrors, some flexing, some looking like they were trying too hard to look casual about it. And then—oh, Jesus. Some had gone full send. "Ohhh, we got some dick pics," Imogen announced gleefully, squinting at my screen. “look at that one, That's a curve if I've ever seen one. Noah, why does it look like a banana"

And then I ruefully inputted my payment details and watched devastatingly as 50 dollars was removed from my account. After recovering from that, I successfully logged into the app. What greeted my eyes were profiles of so many people. Damn! A lot of people were really into this shit. Some of the sadist’s profiles had their faces, some had pictures of other things and some had explicit photos. I came across some with six to eight-pack abs. Wow. Look at those packs…this men are… I paused realizing I was gushing. Okay, I might be gay. The profiles also contained the prices they were offering to pay.

“I am not a model. Trust me! That profile picture is just make-up, good angels, and Moon-blessed lighting. You can see now, this is the real me. Still think I am a prank?” I didn’t have to wait this time, as a moment later, his several replies popped up. “Wait! Oh, no! You are REAL? Goddess! That means you are really texting me!” I chuckled as his texts got funnier with every passing second. “I am such an idiot (crying face emoji). I am so sorry, Ashley. Honestly, I assumed, I was being pranked again, as it had happened earlier. My pack mates often post my profile on dating meme pages.”

I braced for a news link, a police report, a photo of a wrecked car. What loaded was a gallery of Olek. Shirtless. Dozens of pictures. Gym mirror selfies, bathroom selfies, pictures where he was flexing so hard his veins looked ready to pop. His pants were slung low on his hips in every single one. I stared, my brain short-circuiting. "Olivia," I said, the sweet tone straining at the edges. "What the fuck is this?" "I am making a profile on a dating site. A premium one. For wealthy American women who appreciate a real man. I cannot decide which photo makes me look most… approachable, yet dominant. You are a woman. You will know."

The message app was open. The profile picture was him. Shirtless, that same lion tattoo on his chest I’d seen when he mowed the lawn without a shirt last summer. Username confirmed: DominantDaddyRex. Hundreds of messages. Fans begging for customs. Girls sending nudes. Payment notifications rolling in. I clicked the media tab almost on autopilot. There he was.