Funny Punchline Novels & Stories

In fact, I haven’t been on in… oh… six years, at least. As soon as Grant sees a picture of Will Ferrell doing a beer bong hit, he says, “Seriously? This is your secret hacking lair?” I click the mouse and Al Pacino yells, “Shut UP!” Grant sighs. “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of…” I click again. “I don’t wanna hear any fuckin’ shit, and I don’t GIVE a shit!” JP snorts in amusement. Grant glares at him. “This is not funny. This is idiotic.”

I don’t even know how many of them I pushed through before I stumbled out the other end to find myself in a castle courtyard. Huffing, trying to catch my breath, I glanced over my shoulder to see the me-sized hole in a dozen layers of the maze. “HA! I found the shortcut.” I laughed as the memory of the Shining spoof episode of the Simpsons played in my mind. “I just Bart Simpson’d that shit! Suck it, Shit Witch!” I crowd, collapsing to the paver courtyard.

Penny replaced her jaw-dropped expression with a gleeful one. Demetria furrowed her brows, “You won a billion dollar lottery?” "I made a girl friend!” Penny clapped her hands like she was a kid. Demetria gasped, “Oh my God, you made a friend? How dare you, Penny?!” Penny paused, still with a smile on her face, “What?” “You're asking me what? You dare cheat on me?!” Penny burst into deep laughter, coughing slightly at the end, “Don't be silly, Demi.”

“Or you’ll be spending the night in a cell.” The second those words left his mouth, the guys burst out laughing, too loud and too wild, like this was the funniest thing they’d heard all night. And then, before I could even part my lips to speak, one of them lunged forward and punched Zane in the jaw. Gasps echoed around us.

I said, louder than I needed to, like raising my voice would somehow make it true. “Where did you even get that crazy idea from?” I asked, frowning. All she knew was that I worked for him. Jessica narrowed her eyes and smirked. “Hmm. Then explain this,” she said, pulling out her phone and handing it to me. I squinted at the screen. “Gentleman Gone Wild: Richard Anthony Punches ‘Poor Guy’ Over a Girl.” My heart sank. What. The. Actual. Hell. I grabbed the phone from her hand, scrolling through quickly. There it was—pictures of the punch everywhere, plastered under all kinds of headlines.

Could they have heard what they said? Cain suddenly burst out in an awkward laughter and punched my arm playfully, “Oh dear!” he clutched his stomach, “you are so silly, Malric! And I love your sense of humor. Good goddess! Oh, don’t worry folks, he loves to joke around a lot. Please carry on with your business, it was only a joke.”

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

Ella seemed to notice this, and apparently decided to take it upon herself to lighten the mood. “Daddy,” she said, swinging her legs from her car seat, “Grandma taught me a new joke tonight. Can I tell you?” “Sure.” “Okay. Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Orange!” “Orange who?” “Orange you glad to see me?” I chuckled at Ella’s pun, but Edrick only exhaled sharply through his nose and returned to staring silently out the window. Ella looked over at me with a puzzled expression on her face. I reached out and squeezed her hand.

Older Adrian laughed. The Original Elaine laughed. Even the collapsing Fracture seemed confused. Adrian shrugged. “I punched someone.” Elaine stared harder. “You what?” “He deserved it.” “You were ten.” “He still deserved it.” The fact that Adrian Vale had apparently been throwing punches since childhood was both shocking and completely believable. Elaine laughed despite herself. A real laugh. For the first time in what felt like forever. And Adrian’s face softened. Because hearing her laugh had always been his favorite thing. Always.

" Ian frowned at the question. Ian (8:15 pm) : What kind stupid question are you asking? Irritating Twat (8:16 pm) : Don't know the answer? Ian (8:16 pm): No. Irritating Twat (8:17 pm) : Because it is made out of cells! Haha! Ian gaped at the message for a long time before a small laugh escaped his mouth. The joke was really lame but it was funny.