Funny Quotes Humor

When they were married, billionaire tycoon Mr. Seven said, "That goth bitch is just after my money and my looks. If she dares to ever touch me, I'll chop her up into pieces."After the divorce, Mr. Seven went around telling others, "My wife has been bullied by her family all her life. She is the most gorgeous woman on earth. If you look at her funny, I'll gouge your eyes out!"Mr. Seven, do you even hear what you're saying?

Nate Wolf is a loner and your typical High School bad boy. He is territorial and likes to keep to himself. He leaves people alone as long as they keep their distance from him. His power of intimidation worked on everyone except for one person, Amelia Martinez. The annoying new student who was the bane of his existence. She broke his rule and won't leave him alone no matter how much he tried and eventually they became friends.As their friendship blossomed Nate felt a certain attraction towards Amelia but he was too afraid to express his feelings to her. Then one day, he found out Amelia was hiding a tragic secret underneath her cheerful mask. At that moment, Nate realized Amelia was the only person who could make him happy. Conflicted between his true feelings for her and battling his own personal demons, Nate decided to do anything to save this beautiful, sweet, and somewhat annoying girl who brightened up his life and made him feel whole again.Find my interview with Goodnovel: https://tinyurl.com/yxmz84q2

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

It’s been five years since Maya left everything, leaving her family, and her friends, to go and built her future. And now, after five years, she’s forced to come back and face everything she left behind, and she’s not alone, she has a child to think about, no time for man or friends until she found Nate, her childhood love, the one who broke her heart years ago and now? Now she found herself facing her past and her feeling for the father of her child and her great love.

A reverse harem paranormal romance Trisha loses her job, is down on her luck, and ready for a life of ramen and peanut butter sandwiches, decides to treat herself to one final great meal and there she meets Ryan Rosewood, sizzling hot Hollywood Elite and he's got a proposal for her.One night, one party, just pretend to be his loving wife to trick some pesky relatives. In return, he'll give her enough money to set her up for at least a year.As Trisha pretends to be the perfect wife, things go south. Her secret is discovered and used against her by a hot underwear model, that wants her to be his.And when Ryan's ruse doesn't quite work, Trisha finds herself in even more trouble as she's stuck in Ryan's mansion with him and his secrets and the knowledge that if she continues to fail, her very life could be at stake.And if that's not enough of problems for her, there's the little fact that Ryan Rosewood isn't a human at all, in fact he's a vampire and nothing in his life is ordinary at all.

Brittany is just looking for a sperm donor. 'Yung kayang mag bigay sa kanya ng isang maganda lahi. But, everything was messed up when her boss Jonathan Montejo offered his own sperm. A never-ending journey of a woman. Who was craving for a child and ended up. Pursuing love she's not prepared for.

After a very public break-up between the university's 'it' couple, all eyes are on the heartbroken Quarterback, Caleb Briggs. His life had been laid out in front of him for as long as he can remember. After one drunken night with a dream girl, he wakes up alone and is determined to find her. Little does he know, she doesn't want to be found. The last thing that Violet wants is to draw in extra attention. It's bad enough that she's the football coach's daughter, but to be dragged down in the gossip mill as The Rebound? Not on her life. When she breaks her father's one rule to keep away from his team and sleeps with the school's quarterback, she is prepared for the consequences. That doesn't mean that she isn't planning on running from them for as long as possible.

WE'RE BACK! Yes, your favorite cousins are back at it again, but this time it ain't about me. So, buckle up and grab your wine glasses, because it's gonna be crazy! Mina’s POV: Wait a damn minute. Am I in hell? Because if I am, I need to speak to HR. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case, give a reference or something. I'm about to start freaking out because, I'm not a “go to hell” and mean it type of person. I can't do heat for five minutes let alone an eternity. I feel like giving my life to save a baby and a man should have gotten me at least joint visitation six months in heaven and six months in hell. “Mina, are you awake?” I heard the voice quietly say next to my ear. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like I had sand in them. I decided to try speaking, but only let out something that sounded like a sick animal. "Wait right there let me get you some water.” I heard a voice whisper again. Who the hell is that? I have heard that voice before but couldn't figure out who the hell it was. “! We need to move; they've found us.” The voice came again. Wait, what? Who the hell are they? I tried opening my eyes again, this time I managed to get them open enough to see the figure picking me up bridal style. Then the stranger turned his head to look directly in my eyes and I knew instantly who it was. “Blaze? You gotta be shitting me.” I said, obviously shocked. “Hey, can we join the party? I hope you are serving food because we are famished.” I heard a man say.

Sixteen years old spoilt brat, with weird quotes from her diary, Katherine Amelia Jones is being stripped off her position as the only child when her Dad remarries a woman with five children, who she develops this sudden hatred for. From being bullied to getting wanted and longed for, by her bully, her step brother.Things takes a sullen turn when she finally lets her guard down and gets involved in a proscriptive relationship with the eldest male of her step siblings.***A mind blowing story filled with suspense. Totally worth reading.

That was the day I ran away, I was giving birth outside the house in the snow, listening to my mate Alpha and his woman having sex inside. My life was so desperate！ Yes, this is my story! My parents died many years ago, I was an orphan and omega, and I lived the life the other members of the pack wanted the least, I was slapped in the face and bitten every day, I had no wolf and almost no friends, they all treated me like trash. But on the night of my 18th birthday, my wolf and my Mate showed up at the same time. I thought my life would be better for it. But they both only existed for one night, and the next day they both disappeared. My wolf was lost and my Alpha mate didn't even remember me. I was just his medicine, his slave. I was pregnant and my mate didn't even know...