Funny Sex Jokes

[Think About A Passionate Sex Scene]: Cayden had snuck up behind Isla, his fated mate, and hauled her off the Couch and into the warming-depth of his muscle-packed body. Without warning, he circled her around, straddled her on his sturdy waist, and plunged a threatening length into her. Heavy thrust, pleasured squeals, venereal kisses, hip sways, electrifying pulses, hair pulls, dampened cuddles, vigorous growls, heated grinds… Name it! Cayden continued digging his way into Isla’s soul until her legs pleaded their surrender… [Think About A Pleasant Evening]: Cayden returns from an meeting and goes straight to meet Isla. But instead of carrying a pomander-Bouquet of pink lilies and tulips, he’s holding in his hands. Divorce papers. And he presents it to Isla, telling her to sign them and leave! And as if that’s not enough, he even cheats on her with his ex, Ivanka Haine. Isla is left heartbroken and confused about what she has done wrong. But even with the weight of her hurt, she still confronts Cayden and his reason is: “YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A BEGGERED OMEGA WHO JUST WANTS MY MONEY AND PROPERTIES. LEAVE!” Sorrowful, Isla leaves Cayden’s life for good! [Then Think Of A Banquet Thrown By The Alpha King]: Cayden, being an Alpha, gets invited to the Alpha King’s Banquet. The Alpha king, being the sovereign ruler of the entire Werewolf race, hosted a Banquet in celebration of his daughter. But Cayden arrives at the Banquet just to realize the most shocking thing. Isla is also at the same Banquet. And she’s that daughter of the King! ** When Cayden realizes his mistake, will he be able to make Love prevail— even when a Princess has sworn to get her revenge? Or will it be ‘His Regret’? Find out…

"Mommy, Mommy! Look at that mister! Will I be as handsome as him when I grow up?" Liam's question forced me to look at where his finger pointed. "Holy f—" I cut myself off, trying not to curse in front of my son. Why, why, why did I have to run into Alexander Ravenford as soon as I walked out of the airport?! Among the millions of people living in New York, I surely didn't want to meet one—Liam's biological father. Five years ago, my scumbag of a boyfriend cheated on me, and I decided to go on a genuinely therapeutic weekend in the Bahamas. I wasn't looking for a rebound, but somehow I ended up spending a decent amount of time having sex with a man who was basically a stranger—a divinely hot, insanely mouthwatering, and ridiculously irresistible Alexander Ravenford. The morning after brought a disappointing hit in the gut, which assured me that for my Prince Charming, I was only a one-time adventure. But screw that, and screw him! I had plans. I was ready to pursue my dreams and study in London. But then fate decided to throw me another curved ball... I was pregnant, and Alex was the only possible father. I didn't give up. I came back as a successful interior designer and the mother of an amazing boy, Liam. I thought that I would be able to avoid Alexander, but it turned out to be almost impossible. But then it got worse… The arrogant, annoying, and even hotter than before CEO of a multibillion-dollar company became friends with my son—his son! And I have a feeling that the sweet little devil who calls me "Mommy" has a mischievous plan to bring his parents together. Should I give this insane relationship a chance?

“I want a divorce!” Angela said, staring at her young and handsome husband with her head high. “You had the nerve to tell me that? Fine! Who wants to stay married to an ugly and stupid woman?” Sky Mars scoffed, looking at her from head to toe. “How much do you want from me?” He asked, thinking she only married him for his money. “I don’t need your money, Sky. Only that,” Angela pointed at the beautiful handmade quilt on the bed. “Not only you’re ugly and stupid, but you’re also crazy. Take this, sign the divorce papers, and don’t ever come back,” He took the blue peacock design comforter on the bed, throwing it at her. She picked up the quilt that landed on the floor and turned her back on him, hugging the soft fabric as she walked toward the door. She did not bother correcting him that she is not ugly and stupid, but crazy? Maybe. She was probably insane falling in love with Sky, that not only the name and status is beyond her reach but also his heart.

Isabella Martinez's father died when she was eighteen years old. She had been separated from her mother at an early age and had no knowledge of the business her mother was involved in with her new husband. After her father's death, she is pushed into her mother's world, where she meets her husband and her husband's son, Alex. Alex is unlike any male she has ever encountered; he is cruel and demanding. He's harsh and intimidating. Alex was known to instill dread in individuals merely by glancing at them. Isabella is unaware that he is the world's most dreaded Mafia Don. Alex claims Isabella is his own the instant his eyes meet hers. Her stepbrother is a womanizer who astonished everyone when he claimed Isabella. Isabella is terrified and despairing; will she learn to accept her stepbrother into her heart? She shouted out, "Y-You can't do that." ❝You are my brother.❞ He chuckled at her as his fingers gripped her tiny lace underwear. ❝I am not your brother, neonata.❞ His lips were on her neck, nibbling her skin and moving down to her breast. ❝ Why are you doing this? She asked, biting her lip as his tongue touched her bud. ❝ Because you are mine.

Alessandro is faced with difficulty as he protects the president’s proud and sexy daughter who was trying her best to get him fired. Things gets twisted as he finds himself on her bed and is unable to stay away. He finds himself attracted to her but is afraid of all the happenings in her life as the election drew closer. Isabelle hates her life as the president’s daughter and is always in opposition to her father who wanted to run for a second tenure. She blames her father solely for the death of her mother and despises him, doing things to ruin his image. Isabelle gets too comfy with her guard and together they began finding secrets about the death of her mother, how her father was able to win the election and the plan of her fiancée’s father to kill her father. She is in disarray when she discovers that her mother’s best friend has two kids for her father. Going through all these, scandals arise as the media is hot with news from her fellow actresses who hates her and her two best friends who wants all what she has. Alessandro forgets about all her hatred for him and stands by her, giving her the support she needed even when her father was being sentenced to jail and his properties were being confiscated..

To say that it was a love is an understatement, Tess White was obsessed with the one who hates her guts, and was completely in love with the idea of falling in love with Callum Anderson ever since she was young. However,Callum had a highschool sweetheart and life was at bliss for him until his world collided with Tessa and the next thing he knew, he was married to the girl he hated the most.

The children of the Guardians have grown up together. Emlyn Gunnar has known Richard Holstin her entire life. She gives her virginity to him when she is 16, on the night of his Alpha ceremony. For the next year and a half, they date in secret. Emlyn has fallen in love with Richie and dreads the day he finds his mate. But as her 18th birthday draws near, she is feeling more confident that he is her mate. Due to an impromptu moment of unprotected sex a couple of weeks before her birthday, Emlyn finds herself pregnant with Richie's baby. On her birthday, when she realizes he is her mate, she is relieved. She knows Richie wants to have a baby, they just weren't planning on one so soon. At her birthday party, the moment her wolf howls that Richie is her mate, saying it out loud for everyone to hear, Richie also cries mate. Only, he isn't looking at Emlyn. He is looking at a female from another pack. When Richie refuses to reject her, letting her escape the pain of his romance with his “mate”, she will have to be the one to reject him, causing him to feel the pain of the shattered mate bond. Before he can decipher what is going on, Emlyn leaves. She goes to Araphyra, to the Fae King, to find out how she can break her Guardian bond with Richie. If he's not her mate, then she isn't going to be his Guardian. Richie will have to race against time and Emlyn to figure out why they have a mate bond he can't feel. But will he be fast enough to keep her from breaking the Guardian bond, the last bond tying her to him, or will their bonds be shattered forever?

Cayden Holstin is the third son of Alpha Liam and Luna Angel. In a family of seven, he’s the only one who hasn’t found his mate besides his underage sister. His oldest brother became the pack’s Alpha, his second oldest brother is their company’s CEO, and Cayd is currently in school to become the CFO. The human university was not exciting and fun like he was hoping, finding it difficult to hide who he is and bored with the females who only wanted casual relationships. Cayden is past ready to find his mate and settle down. Madelyn Cole is a human who was abruptly introduced to the werewolf world when she started dating a man she thought was human. It didn’t take long for him to bring her to his ‘pack’ and then refuse to let her leave. His aggressive, violent ways terrify her, and she tried to leave, but he refused to let her go. One night, in the middle of big party, Madelyn finds her opening and escapes, running as fast as she can When Cayd and the other Guardians realize that humans are being taken into werewolf packs as slaves and omegas against their will, they will have to make a stand, to fight as they always do for those who cannot fight for themselves. Cayd doesn’t care that his mate is a human. He trusts the Moon Goddess to give him the mate that is meant to be his. But Madelyn doesn’t want to live around the violent werewolves. She just wants to be left alone. Can Cayd convince her that he’s not like other wolves while keeping her safe from the one who is hunting her?

Future Alpha Wesley Stone's teacher assigns his class a pen pal project with a class located in another state. The young Alpha soon finds himself forming a close snail mail friendship with a young, orphaned human girl, Haven Kenway. Over time, they lose touch, but neither forgets the other. Years pass, and Haven now lives in one of the towns near Wesley's pack. When they finally meet in person, sparks fly, and neither can resist the attraction they feel for each other. As secrets about Haven's identity are revealed, Haven and Wesley must journey to unravel the truth about who she really is, and Wesley must protect her from those who wish to use her. *Please note this book is intended for 18+. The book deals with real life issues of childhood trauma, substance abuse, neglect, hospitalization, and will have graphic scenes of violence and descriptive sex scenes, as well as adult language*

Cadence has worked very hard to be at the top of her class, and the lead investigative reporter for her college newspaper. All she wants is to be a successful she-wolf who stands on her own and prove that not all females are meant to be pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen. She makes her own decisions, lives by her own rules. That is, until her final assignment before graduation sends her into the lion’s den. The local pack to her college is Moon Bay, and home to Alpha Keller, whose sons are popular football players and playboys. How will Cade’s strong will and determined attitude hold up against two identical twins who are future Alphas? Turns out the goddess was indeed playing at something with this match! The twins struggle to win over their mate, who more than makes them work for it! In this battle of the sexes only one can come out on top! Follow along with their story in Taunting the Twin Alphas!