Funny Sex Jokes

((A/N)) If you haven't read "Lycan King" you should definitely read it for a better understanding of "Lycan Blood." or you can just read this book and go back and read "Lycan King" your choice.****************I follow closely behind Lucious through the dark forest, looking at his tensed back. "I was only helping. I know you're angry Lucious, but you can't go around doing whatever you want anymore. My father has laws in place for these types of things." If Lucious would've wiped that pack out, he would've had to answer to father for his crimes.Lucious turn around glaring at me. "Don't tell me what I can and cannot do! I don't give a fuck about your father nor his laws! He's not my fucking king!" He spits the words at me, before turning walking away.I let out a sigh, looking at his back as he disappears through the thick trees of the forest. He may not accept father as his king, but that doesn't mean father won't punish him for the laws he breaks.************************************** After all the killing and fighting, Lisa just wants for things to go back to the way they once were, but the peacefulness of her old life back in the human world is long gone. Lisa is now shoved into the world that she was always meant to be a part of. She's no longer in the human world, living by the human ways and laws. Here its killed or be killed. While Lisa fight for her respect amongst the wolves, Lucious is planning to get revenge for the death of his father and friends.

**Book 2 to The Moon's Descendant ** ** Mature content 18+ ** Contains graphic sex scenes, violence, death and coarse language ** ‐-------------------------------------------------------- Although Zelena survived the attack on her pack, a lot has changed in the Were world. Secrets are being kept and lies are being told. Someone close has betrayed them. With more Weres seeking out the Triple Goddess, new threats and allies are appearing from all over. Zelena grows more powerful by the day. As her powers manifest, so to do the dangers. As Zelena struggles to find her way, one Were is seeking to use the Triple Goddess to realise his own dreams and desires. Zelena is forced to make a choice, will she lead Were kind to untold heights of power, or will she keep the peace that they have always known. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The sound of a wailing child filled the air, piercing the inner corners of my ears. I couldn't move, it was like my body was concreted to the ground. Everything hurt. The intense pain burned through my veins, paralysing me. I lay helpless on the ground, dying slowly. My eyes gazing, at the retreating legs before me. I watched on powerlessly, until they were gone from my sight, vanishing between the snow-covered trees. Helplessness consumed me and I couldn't fight it any longer. The faint cries slipped away, until only the sound of the wind was left. My heavy eyelids slowly blinked closed and darkness fell over me. ----------------------------------------- Book 1 - The Moon's Descendant - Told by Zelena and Gunner. Book 2 - Mother of the Moon - Told By Zelena and Lunaya. Book 3 - Twin Moon - Told by Zelena and Whiskey.

After a very public break-up between the university's 'it' couple, all eyes are on the heartbroken Quarterback, Caleb Briggs. His life had been laid out in front of him for as long as he can remember. After one drunken night with a dream girl, he wakes up alone and is determined to find her. Little does he know, she doesn't want to be found. The last thing that Violet wants is to draw in extra attention. It's bad enough that she's the football coach's daughter, but to be dragged down in the gossip mill as The Rebound? Not on her life. When she breaks her father's one rule to keep away from his team and sleeps with the school's quarterback, she is prepared for the consequences. That doesn't mean that she isn't planning on running from them for as long as possible.

Sylvain Wilde had been searching for his mate from the moment he shifted. All he wanted was to find his other half and live his happily ever after. Except, he didn't realize that his mate would be of a completely different species from him and that she would be an enemy he'd be willing to give his life for! _____________________________________________ Book 5 of the Mate Series! You have to read Books 1 - 4 to understand this one! Books listed inside!

Amalthea Romano is the most organized person you'd ever meet. From her closet, down to her study table, everything must be perfectly aligned. Ganoon din sa schedules niya! She's very goal oriented. She planned to graduate college, run the family business, get married eventually or maybe spend the rest of her life with her beloved pets. But one Sunday morning ruins it all. Papaanong biglang nasingit sa schedule niya ang maging babysitter?

''You are not just a human, but you are weak and also fragile, so different from my type.'' He yelled and pressed her to the wall while his wolf howled against it, but he totally ignored him and glared straight into her eyes, which held fear and pain. ''I will never accept you as my mate, not because you are a human, but you are totally not my type, and I love someone else and will make her my mate.'' He yelled those words in a great rage which made her knees quiver with fear. Alpha Eric hated and rejected his mate the very day he set his eyes on her, and would do anything to get her out of his life, but everything changed when he met her in a BDSM club and had to disguise himself in a mask. PS: In this book, werewolves lived among humans and their existence are not known to all. PS: This book has a high rate of sex ,specifically dominant and submissive displays.

Clay Nikolaidis: I don't know why everyone's so worried about me. I'm happy being single. H-A-P-P-Y, Happy. I don't understand why my twin sister thought her getting married and having my niece and nephew meant I felt left behind. Least of all, to the point that she decided I needed a dog… It’s a joke. She gave me a corgi and said he’s my new wingman. of a wingman, I've been striking out, and worse, just got evicted from my apartment. Now I'm staying at my cousin's place till I find a new one. This dog owes me. Xenia Rosario: I've loved everything about living in the Big Apple. Everything but my apartment seems to be big here. Shoebox apartment aside, I just became the owner of Tinkerbell, a therapy training dropout. Trust me when I say her name is meant to be ironic. She's bigger than me. This is probably how I got dragged through the park, and if I ever find the owner of that tiny dog who scared Tink, I'm giving them a piece of my mind. This is a standalone story but is the fifth book in the Ravenwood series. Book 1 - The Princess of Ravenwood Book 2 - Chasing Kitsune Book 3 - Expect The Unexpected Book 4 - Out Of My League Book 5 - Man's Best Wingman

" You'll have to warm my bed every single night, you will always be available for me. And during this period you will not come in contact with any men- " Mr. Noah puts out his conditions, his voice emitting authority. " I'm not in a relationship with anyone so I won't be having sex with anyone except you, you can trust me on that one. " I reply quickly. " Oh no sweetheart, I'm not talking about that. You will not talk to any man or come in contact with them, as long as you are my mistress. You see I am a bit possessive of my things. " He says with an evil glint in his eyes, standing awfully close to me. " I'm not a thing but a human being. " I object. " Doesn't matter now. You're body is my property for the entire month. " He replies carelessly. " As I was saying, you'll be my mistress and work for me in this office at the same time. You'll be my personal secretary. Make coffee, fetch me lunch, mop the floors if I say so and much more." He states. " And one more thing waitress, I hate disobedience and disrespect. Make sure you have no trace of that when appearing in front of me or else I'll make you hate your existence." He threatens, who does he think of himself to be, God? I just nod to his unfair demands, bowing my head down. This is more like slavery. But what other choice do I have? Blackmailing the most notorious Billionaire in America can't end so well, now can it? Well Emma made the mistake, and now the devilish Billionaire will make her pay for it!

SYNOPSIS. “Live long, dear ex-husband, for you will regret every pain that I went through.” Dragging her feet outside the mansion of the man who just served her divorce paper, in the pool of her own blood, she vowed. === There was no single thing Elena would not do to make her husband look at her with affection in his eyes and love her but even after three years of marriage, Zeke never saw her as a woman. When he presented a divorce paper to her even after she caught him cheating on her with her best friend, she knew that it was over, but still, she had tried to save her marriage. But, when she banged on her husband’s door as he had sex with another woman like crazy that night, blood oozing out of her, she made up her mind to never forgive him. SIX YEARS LATER… Elena and Zeke met at an event after party that was hosted in her honor, and he walked up to her. “Elena.” She raised her shoulders and laughed. “Who are you?”

At eighteen, Katrina Ryder, the first daughter of the Gamma of the Southpaw pack, is still without a wolf. Even when her arrogant sister got it at a much younger age. She’s looked down on and mocked by her mother, sister, and every other wolf in the pack, except for her loving father whose unfortunate genes caught up with him. Her life takes a wicked spin when she’s sold as a sex slave to the notorious Lycan Alpha Triplets of the Moonstone pack. Unfortunately for Katrina, she was at the wrong place, at the wrong time, and with the wrong wolves. Will the inherited genes that affected her father, destroy her too? What happens when what is meant to be a one-night stand changes the lives of Katrina, Cannon, Kane, and Ian forever? And when she’ll have to make an unwanted choice of who will father her golden triplets while saving themselves from monsters who have no other goal but to destroy them all… ~~~ THE ALPHA TRIPLETS SERIES BOOK ONE: TRIPLETS FOR THE ALPHA TRIPLETS* BOOK TWO: THE DARK ALPHA'S UNWANTED LUNA