Funny Sex Jokes

Don’t trust anyone, not even yourself….You think you know someone pretty well, until you’re awoken in the middle of the night to the sound of unfamiliar voices and realize your sister’s being swept away by some supernatural creatures who climb in and out of windows and leap from two-story houses like it’s nothing.My parents tried to tell me everything was fine, but when Cadence finally did come back from wherever they’d taken her, I knew there was something unusual about my older sister.Now, her best friend is dead.Her ex-boyfriend is acting bizarre.And I’m afraid I might be next.My name is Cassidy Findley, and I’m pretty sure my sister is a vampire, despite her “co-worker” making every effort to brainwash me into believing otherwise. With the help of my two best friends, we vow to get to the bottom of this before it’s too late, and my sister starts to claim other victims. I love her, but I won’t be turned, nor will I just sit by without doing everything I can to stop her. I can only hope that I’m not too late and that I can trust my own memories.Because I’m pretty sure my sister’s friends are coming for me next.The Chronicles of Cassidy is a retelling of The Clandestine Saga specifically for young adult/teen readers told from the perspective of high schooler Cassidy Findley.

Two different lives with one pact! ... Telemarketer at Panda Health Tea company, Selene Brooke works out most of her stress in the boiler room to push memories of her past and overcome her cheating ex boyfriend, to prove herself worthy and perfect than her co-worker Michelle, in the eyes of her boss, Corby Cox. What Selene didn't know was that proving her worth and perfection was going to land her in a whole lot of trouble, an assignment to get an investor of RR enterprise owned by a famous Italian billonaire. Fabrico Zunino Valenquez. A man who was also trying to overcome his past by so doing, not willing his heart to love again. Their meeting is on business terms but Selene finds herself agreeing to the Pact that Fabrico was willing to offer her. No holds barred sex, no strings attached and no commitment. But how long can that last before they fall in too deep, denying the pact and longing for more. What happens when they realise their pact was actually based on love?

[I found out Daniel Ortega, the notorious delinquent at my high school, is actually a cat-loving gentle soul. Now, it's time to use it against him to get what I want.] Things get a lot more exciting for Logan Smith, a 17-year-old student from Skyland high school, when he catches Daniel Ortega in a vulnerable state. Logan is a scholarship boy-a genius prodigy who is expected to get into the best college once he graduates. Daniel Ortega is seen as the walking terror in high school. He is rough around the edges, tattooed, tall and muscular, and rumored to be a complete psychopath. But underneath his scarred skin hides a big heart. Daniel, however, doesn't want anyone to find out about his soft heart. His reputation as a bad boy makes people leave him alone, and he intends to keep it that way. But the problem arises when Logan finds out his secret. He threatens to expose Daniel as a secretly nice person unless Daniel beats up one of Logan's bullies on his behalf. Daniel doesn't like violence, but he has no choice but to agree since he doesn't want to lose his reputation as the high school bad boy. The sooner Daniel beats up the bully, the sooner he can return to being a lone wolf. He wants nothing to do with him after, yet, Logan seems to be attracted to him like the moth to a flame, and Danny can't seem to get rid of him!

Jenna, an exemplary daughter, lives alone with her father who raised her with a lot of love, discipline and responsibility. Mark Black, a very upright man who was widowed very young, but did not make another commitment to his daughter, to live happily. But life is like that, both contacted a blind date company, where they did not speak, wore masks that did not let recognize anything of each other's identity, without knowing it, they do something that would cause pain, regret, tears. Even so, there is an unrevealed truth that in the end will cause their lives to change in their totality. What will that revelation be? What truth will that be? Find out when you read this controversial novel. Where they discover that sex takes place with who can be something for you, but neither knows anything about the other, since everything is done in silence and with masks, but there are also sayings such as. "NOTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS". Love will overcome very hard obstacles and its protagonists must have strength to cross them, because sometimes friendship and fidelity is something temporary, sometimes who you should take care of is the person you appreciate the most, not always friends are what they seem and say they love you.

Sabay-sabay na dumating ang problema ni Laura Abriogo. Niloko siya ng boyfriend, malapit ng ma-bankrupt ang kompanya ng pamilya, at posible ding mawala ang Hacienda Abriogo sa kanya. At ngayon ay magpapakasal siya lalaking sa pangalan lang niya kilala. Draco Atlas Acuzar was the name of the man she was going to marry. The Acuzar Group of Companies was owned by him. It was a marriage of convenience. Magpapakasal sila ni Draco para tulungan sila nitong maisalba ang mga ari-arian nila. At nang makita ni Laura ang lalaking pakakasalan niya ay halos huminto ang pagtibok ng puso niya. Draco Atlas Acuzar was tall, fair-complexioned, well-built, and gorgeously handsome. The man's sex appeal was simply overflowing. His piercing stare sent chills, a trait that earned him the formidable reputation as the Cold Billionaire. Draco and Laura got married in a simple ceremony. At kung kailan naging Mrs. Acuzar na siya ay doon niya nalaman ang totoong dahilan kung bakit siya nito pinakasalan. He didn't marry her just to help her with her problems. Pinakasalan lang pala siya nito para maghiganti sa ama niyang may kasalanan dito...

"You are fucking mine .only i have right to kiss those plump lips . I fucking own your soul. Somia is only Haris's ." Saying this he smashed his lips to mine "Jaana . I might be a playboy back . But its my first kiss . You know according to me lip and forehead kiss is just a symbol of love but I accept it today" saying this he again smashed his lips to mine ................................. "How many kids you want in future?" My eyes widened at her question. Is she for real. "Ooooooo!! you are blushing at the name of kids . So cute!" saying this she pulled my cheeks and suddenly kissed me on my cheeks.She looked down getting embarrassed by her act . She did this unknowingly. I was shocked. .............. She came forward but suddenly she tripped by her dress but I caught her . Our eyes got locked and it seems like the world around us stopped . She fit perfectly in my arms. I can feel her accelerated heart beat. Her rosy lips were the first thing which was making me hard in my pants.Her smell was super intoxicating. ................. We have always heard that there are 6 identical individuals of a person. Is it true? Lets see!! It is always said that opposite attracts. Somia a young girl living in the city of saints, belongs to a middle class family. She is financially helping her father to make the both ends meet. A sweet bubbly self-made girl who knows how to deal with this cruel world. But what happens when she unknowingly falls for a cold hearted devil. Haris a cold hearted devil having several night stands . Love is not his cup of coffee. Join the journey of two opposite natured persons to know what happens when they cross their paths.

“You can’t love me!” I snapped, tears blurring his handsome face. “Why?” Asher demanded, looking appalled. “Because I betrayed you…” I whispered, my heart breaking apart. “Because I came here to…destroy you.” What happens when the man you were sent to destroy turns out to be your mate and the love of your life? 25 years old Ivy never expected her beautiful life to turn into her darkest nightmare by a man named Alpha Killian Price. After destroying her pack and killing her entire family, except for her father, Killian has an offer for Ivy that could help her piece her life together again. But that offer comes at a price Ivy wasn’t ready to pay. Killian wanted her to destroy GrayCrest, the most powerful pack in the country, in exchange for her father’s life. But how could Ivy destroy the pack whose Alpha was her mate and the love of her life? Her father or her mate…there was a choice Ivy needed to make. But the stakes were too high and time was running out fast. Can Ivy make the right choice before the most brutal war in history claims innocent lives and destroys hundreds of packs in its wake? Sizzling, passionate, funny, and full of unexpected twists and actions… witness a story that will take your breath away!

Just when things took turn for the worst. Emma Millers got her happily ever after, when Xavier Powers, a man she had saved from death, gave her a new opportunity for life. A nice job and a brand new furnished house to start a fresh with her family.

Cocky, arrogant, and dropped dead gorgeous: That described my boss, Mr. Craft, to a T. His thick hair, cold blue eyes and strong jaw held power in a conference meeting, causing women to melt in his presence. I’ve wanted to confront him on his stubborn attitude and critical demands for employees. I’d bitten my tongue in many scenarios and held in my true feelings over a dozen times. Keeping the peace was necessary until I had enough experience under my belt to move onto bigger and better things. The only problem was; Craft Marketing was the bigger and better, and the longer I stuck it out with him, meant more opportunities would arise. I’d been the only female intern to land a job directly under him, and was also the only one who hadn’t slept with him. I knew he was promiscuous with the tall and leggy blondes that breezed into his office looking immaculate, then scurried back out with mussed hair, flushed cheeks, and unbuttoned blouses. I'd ignore the magnetic pull of chemistry and curiosity between us. Unless it came to my advantage.

At 15, Valeria Startam finds herself in the midst of two handsome and wealthy sons of a billionaire. . Ergon Mickelson is the youngest of two brothers, who Valeria fell in love with. Noah Mickelson is the elder brother of Ergon who hate Valerie's guts for no good reason. Things got ugly when Valeria is to work as the assistant maid in the home of her boyfriend, Ergon. Valeria, though was a maid did not get the treatment deserving of a maid all because of Ergon. This further aggravated Noah's hate for Valeria. He went as far as humiliating her in public and calling her a gold digger. But one night, something strange happened in her bed in the house of the Mickelsons. Ever since that night, it became a regular routine until the day doom knocked on her door in the form of an unwanted pregnancy. Valeria faced the worse part of life when she is rejected by her very own boyfriend who denied ever having sex with her. Would Valeria be able to face the trauma and birth an unwanted child whose father she knows nothing about?