Funny Sex Jokes Novels & Stories

They say society looks down on divorced women, especially those who are no longer “beautiful” in its eyes but Amara doesn’t care. After ten years of being the perfect wife, enduring whispers about her looks, the cruel jokes about her weight, and the constant reminders from her husband that she’s “not beautiful enough,” she’s done. Her husband not only cheats on her… he moves his pregnant mistress into their marital home and flaunts her like a prize. When Amara asks for a divorce, he vows to destroy her. Promising to make her life so miserable she’ll come crawling back. But he’s wrong because Amara would rather die than return to him. In her search for a way out, she crosses paths with Lucian Rostova. He's dangerous. Ruthless and filthy rich. Lucian offers her a deal: he’ll help her ruin her ex-husband and his mistress if she agrees to marry him for one year. With her back against the wall, Amara says yes. But deals with the devil always come with a price. Will Lucian truly protect her like he promises… or will he crush her and leave her bleeding out in the cold?

Kimberly leans on her family and fall prey to their underhand, murderous scheme and counter scheme. Peaches And Bottles takes the reader by hand into all her survival, sex, wealth, beauty and love escapades. This novel is awesome, intriguing, and captivating.

As the younger sister of the most powerful Alpha in the Southern Territory, I dated Damon, my brother's biggest rival for Alpha King, for five years without telling my brother and parents. We were in love for five years, and he gave me everything. He always tells me his wolf can't control its desire when it sees me. That's why he likes to have sex with me anywhere, anytime—even out in the wild, he doesn't care. But the day before our mating ceremony, I found out that my fiancé was dating me just to threaten my brother to quit the election with our sex tape. After knowing the truth, I decided to give up everything and leave, but my fiancé humbly knelt on the ground and begged me to come back.

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Natalie’s life shattered when she walked in on her boyfriend of two years having sex with her best friend on her graduation day. Feeling hurt and betrayed, Natalie followed her sister to an exclusive, masked theme club and had sex with a stranger who was twice her age. She was disowned by her parents and got more than she bargained for when she discovered she was pregnant after leaving the city. Six years later, Natalie had become a big shot as a cybersecurity specialist and was given an assignment to fix a breach in the biggest Tech company in the same city that held the biggest memory for her. But she soon find out that the man she slept with at the club six years ago was the wealthiest man in the city. He’s her baby's daddy and also her ex-boyfriend’s father.

Escape the Night When Anya Kane escaped the darkness Virgil Branson was selling her into, she sought help from her boss, Gus D’Amato, a hot and hunky FBI agent. Six months later she is out of his office and in his bed, enjoying the most erotic sex imaginable and forging a bond with the man who makes every muscle in her body quiver. But things go dramatically wrong, and between bouts of thermonuclear sex that set them both on fire, Gus finds himself struggling to keep them both safe. Dancing with Danger Rachel Windsor knew nothing about Gabriel Peralta except that he was walking sex appeal and blew into her life without notice, here today then gone on a puff of wind. But while he was there he did things to her that even her fantasies hadn’t conjured up, driving her to orgasms that shook her like a raging storm. His mouth knew every inch of her body; the imprint of his intimate kisses lingered long after he disappeared again. Now he’s back again, his life unexpectedly on the line but even in the danger zone his sexual demands were more scorching than ever. Can they survive and find a way to make a life together? Because Rachel is determined not to give up the erotic lifestyle that binds them together. Hot and Dangerous is created by Desiree Holt, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

Nate Wilson is a hot guy who is every girl's wet dream. In an attempt to get over his best friend who is married, he takes an impulsive decision. Samantha Perez is a fiesty and confident young woman who lives the perfect life. She breaks her rule for one night, letting herself go loose but is she really as wild as she seems between the sheets? One crazy night of pleasure brings these two people together but little did they know that they weren't going to be just strangers after all. Read to find out what life has in store for these two imperfect souls.

If you are going to be BAD, then you have to do it the BAD way... It's pretty simple: 1) Don't get caught 2) Always have a Plan B 3) If all else fails... Run...Run for your life! Everyone has a bad side. Some try to deny it's existence, some hide it and others well...they rule the world with it. In the book of being BAD, there are ninety-nine formulas for world domination... Number one: You aren't BAD until you can walk around the school dressed in all pink and have everyone afraid to approach you. Number two: You aren't BAD until you can break into a certain bad boys house and well... do the wrong kinds of stuff. Number three: You aren't bad until quite frankly, you have declared vengeance against the bad boy. ~*~ "I heard you like bad boys," Blade says with a vivid smirk on his face. I glared up at him, without responding clenching my fists fighting the urge to punch him in the face. "So...?" He says after a couple of seconds of silence. "So what?" "So what do you think...Tinker Bell?" He says emphasizing on the stupid name. His face moved closer to mine and I stared back into his green eyes, watching the fire inside ignite. I smirked, "Then find me one." Blade grins at my witty retort and shrugs it off. "I look at you and I see cotton candy, but then you open your mouth... and suddenly you turn into liquorice," he scoffs. "Welcome to the game bitch, your move, now let's play."

Brittany Laxamana is the kind of woman who doesn't believe in love. Moreover, she is also irritated with her twin because she is not interested in to whom it was introduced to her and she especially dislikes conversations because she knows every man is very good but only at first. But that fate changed when the man she had not expected arrived. nor did she expect to fall in love with that man when they first met THAT STRANGER GOT MY HEART !! -Britanny Will She believe in love? Will her beliefs change because of this man? ENGLISH VERSION