Funny Sex Jokes Novels & Stories

In Black Salt, love is a sickness you can’t hide—a slow gnawing beneath the skin that leaves you hollowed, grayed, and eventually gone. No one stays long enough to see it through; they leave before the rot finishes its work. It’s what the town teaches you: when it starts, you run. You look away. You survive by pretending not to feel. But Atlas is tired of pretending. The halls of Black Salt High are full of kids pretending they don’t see each other’s bruised hearts, pretending their bones aren’t already whispering warnings. Still, he can’t forget the weight of a father who stayed—not out of love, but because he never felt it deep enough to decay. That truth lingers in Atlas like a second shadow. And then there’s Nova—the outsider with a storm in her bones. And Wren, all sharpness and fight. Milo, who cracks jokes to keep the silence at bay. Luce, who wears her thorns like jewelry. Together, they don’t know how to stop the rot. But they’re learning how to sit with it, how to name it, how to refuse the small, hollow deaths of pretending not to care. In a town where love is a death sentence, staying might be the bravest thing of all.

Lacy Maroney has never known love. Not since her mother abandoned her at an Orphanage home, not since people came by and refused to adopt her. Her life from 17 has been filled with sex, fake Ids, clubs and hurt. Leading her to build the biggest, underground sex club in the slums of Nevada for the top 5% of the US. A place where secrets thrive and orgasms run wilder. Everyone knows her as Madame X. Her rate goes up to almost a million dollars. Until. Three men come stumbling in offering 5 million dollars for just one night. Everything as Lacy has known it changes. Her heart, her mind, her sex drive. Nothing can compare, no one can compare, to these three mysterious men. Especially when they find out everything about her that nobody knows. She realises soon that these men don’t want just her body, but also her heart. Complications arise as they try to find a dynamic and secrets thrive in the questions unasked. Secrets that grow until they threaten to bring down everything she’s worked hard for. When it all comes crashing down, will she push them away and enforce her rules, or will she lose herself in love and pleasure? Even worse —the spotlight that comes with the reveal of their true identities?

⚠️ CONTENT WARNING ⚠️ This book contains explicit sexual content, including detailed descriptions of consensual sex between adult men. >>>>>>>>> Nikolai pins Aiden to the cadaver table, shoves his hand into his pants, and fists his throbbing cock with one ruthless stroke. Aiden’s head slams back, a broken moan ripping free as Nikolai jacks his dick raw and fast, his thumb grinding the slick head until Aiden’s hips fuck helplessly into his grip. “Fuckkkk...” >>>>>>>>> Aiden Cross who grew up dirt-poor clawed his way into the nation’s top medical school with nothing but his brilliance, every perfect grade is another step toward the day he’ll destroy the father who abandoned him and his family. Then Nikolai Serrano shows up: filthy-rich, unfairly beautiful, and somehow able to match Aiden’s perfect scores without breaking a sweat. He invades Aiden’s classes, his space, his every thought, until the tension between them detonates in the dead of night. ❗Scenes include oral sex, anal sex, manual stimulation, dirty talk, praise kink, light possessive/dominant behavior, and semi-public/risky sexual situations. If these dynamics upset you, close the book now.

Mia Nova is sold to the devil to clear her fathers debt. Luca Barone, known in whispered fear as Diavolo, doesn’t just collect money, he also collects souls. Luca expects to meet a broken Mia who will plead for her life with tears and vivid fear. Instead he meets a petty thief who fears nothing. She smiles when he threatens to sell her to men, and makes jokes about her breast size not being enough for these men. In Luca’s world, the biggest currency is fear, but it seems Mia is bankrupt. When she steps into Pandemonium, his secret lair where powerful men are undone, she becomes the queen of the night, raking in five hundred million dollars in her first night. They make a second deal. The freedom of her soul costs six billion dollars in the six months of her gracing the golden chair every night. A kiss seals the deal. That same kiss changes everything between them. He becomes possessive, and she wants to surrender to him, but the ghost of the woman who graced the chair before her, returns with a fire that is set to burn everything down. Mia must decide between running from the Devil who owns her, or staying with the man who no longer wants to.

Do you have the guts to sleep with a sex spirit? They say that they will give you protection and much more and the only thing they need in return is sex with a young beautiful woman. Cassie Black is an ordinary girl who could never think of entering such an arrangement, but when horrors from her family's past threaten her life and the lives of her loved ones, she needs protection to discover the truth and make things right. The pleasures of sleeping with an incubus are addicting and otherworldly until she discovers her night visitor has a personality that revolves around more than only sex. Will she be able to remove the threat in her life? Or has she only created another problem by getting a secret night lover?

TRIGGER WARNING Close this page right now if any of these will ruin your day: • Explicit stepmother/stepson incest (he calls her “Mom” while he’s balls-deep) • Raw cheating on the husband/father • Rough degrading sex: choking, slapping, spitting, hair-pulling, “slut” talk • Bareback creampies, facials, swallowing • Almost-getting-caught adrenaline • Age-gap filth + forbidden obsession • Arranged-marriage jealousy and heartbreaking goodbye sex This is NOT romance. This is pure, dripping, no-limits taboo erotica. About “Hooked on his Dick” One open door was all it took. Natasha walks in on her stepson Noah stroking the biggest cock she’s ever seen and instead of walking out, her panties soak through. From that second, they’re doomed. Secret quickies while Dad’s downstairs. Kitchen counter pounding with the cake burning. One last soul shattering night on the eve of Liam’s wedding to his old school crush. She knows it’s wrong. He knows it’s wrong. But every time he growls “Mom” and slams into her, wrong feels so fucking right. No hearts and flowers. No redemption arc. Just sweat, cum, guilt, and the kind of dirty, obsessive sex that leaves you shaking. If you want your taboo served raw, breathless, and unapologetic this one will ruin you in the best way.

At dinner, Tiffany White grabs my fiance's phone and spends 100 thousand dollars on a designer bag. She even sticks her tongue at me. "Come on, Meredith. You're loaded. You won't mind such a small amount, right? Shawn and I share everything. His money is my money," she says. Everyone at the table waits for me to lose my temper or smile and let it slide like a saint. Instead, I calmly take out a voice recorder and my laptop from my bag and adjust my gold-rimmed glasses. "100 thousand meets the threshold for criminal filing. Since you said you two share everything, I have to ask—is this embezzlement or an illegal transfer tied to an improper personal relationship? "Oh, and what you just said about 'his money is my money'? I recorded that. According to the supplemental clauses in our prenup and the company bylaws, I'm officially initiating an asset-freezing order against Shawn Harrison." I turn to Tiffany. "Enjoy your free meals in prison, Ms. White." Shawn is livid. "It was just a joke, Meredith. Is it really necessary to ruin me over this?" I hit the "enter" key. "Sorry. In my book, there are no jokes—only bad debt."

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

~Mature content ~strong language and sex scenes ~girlxgirl book ~~~~~~~~~ Love. Love is a powerful magnetic pull that pulls to opposites together. Love can be forbidden and destructive. But for Ashley and her stepmother Angelina Love is a forbidden obstacle course.

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?