Funny Threats Novels & Stories

“Want to write about a mafia boss? Come meet me at the docks. If you survive, I’ll let you write the first chapter. If you survive tomorrow, that's two chapters you can write.” “You really want a killer’s secrets? I’ll show you—come closer.” I keep scrolling, hoping for even a single response that feels real, but it’s all the same. Mockery, threats, and people playing around like this is some sort of game. My chest tightens, and I realize just how dangerous this could get. There’s not one shred of sincerity in any of these posts. Just twisted humor and veiled threats that make my skin crawl. I swallow the lump in my throat, realizing that none of these people will take me seriously.

"But I think the best plan is to have the baby born first." I can see the dissatisfaction in Janine's expression. "Okay then, Do not dare to play her or else, I will do everything to make you live like hell or if it will not be me who will make you live like that, I am sure she can do that herself." The crazy friend of mine was actually spitting horrifying threats. "Relax, We have a deal, I will live my life and she will live her life but as long as she still has my baby inside of her, she has considered mine" my eyes widen because I know I haven't agreed to that one but I chose to keep my mouth shut.

“Since you won’t sleep with us, you should compensate us in other ways.” “That’s right. The price has just gone up.” Deborah flew into a rage. “10 million dollars is a lot. You low-life scums can’t earn that much money in your lifetime.” “We don’t care. If you don’t want to see your video on the internet, you better cough up 100 million dollars.” The three thugs threatened her and smirked. “100 million dollars? To hell I would give you that kind of money.” Unfazed by the threat, Deborah said murderously, “You got another thing coming for threatening the Quints.

A chill ran along my spine, goosebumps popping out of my skin as I thought of a mob of one hundred people. “Imagine what they can and will do to you to get back their money. You see these threats online? The trolls? Those are child’s play compared to what these people may do to you, because they have a direct right of grievance.” He leaned away, holding my eyes. I swallowed at the thick tension that clogged the entire room. He smiled, the bastard smiled for the first time since we met like he had said something funny. My heart hurried, my ribs quaking at the impulsive thumps.

Theo stuttered, climbing up the stairs. “Really? That’s gay? Not me pounding a man’s ass, or you kissing me?” I asked on purpose trying to rile him and that seemed to have done the job. He turned towards me, slamming me back harsh against the wall, hands shooting out to my throat as his nostrils flared. “Don’t ever. Ever, make that joke again. It happened once, it was for—” he cut himself. “Don’t sprout shit like that next time or I’ll kill you myself. Understood?” he threatened, basically snarling, teeth out and all.

His face reminded me of Homer Simpson. I shook my head. ‘Yeah, the threats are usual things in the business world but are mostly threats. Empty threats. My competitors wouldn’t dare pull a fast one on me because they know it will be bad for them.’ Homer Simpson’s fellow replied. ‘Right, Mr. Kyle. In our line of business, we’ve seen empty threats turn into murder cases, so if you have anything to help us with the investigation, please let us know.’

She reminded but I only yawned and said, "If you're my enemy, I don't think I'll bother about that, you can not be my enemy because I don't keep enemies and you'll not be my first. If you're here to say shits, just leave 'cause I'm not in the mood." I expressed, staring at her and she just chuckled. "You have no idea what you're playing with, you think this is just a little problem but it might actually be the end of you and your pathetic life." Her threats didn't touch a cell in my body, I received my worst kind of threat a few days ago and that threat still haunts my dream till now, so whatever shit the lady in front of me was vomiting wasn't my concern.

is just a threat that can't be refused, but he nodded anyway. "First, I'd drive a car to where the guy is and just ram into him, pushing him once. After breaking some bones, once he regains consciousness, I'd visit him again. Then I'd start the conversation. Or I could simply shoot one of his knees first, that works too." "...Generally, saying you'll ram someone with a car or shoot their knee is considered a threat." "That's what girly guys do. Eugene, threatening means taking action first, then starting."

"Oh, this! Nothing new same as usual, threat for you to leave your CEO position, then they'll let your family free." "A new one, what's the latest count?" "Including this, it reached to four hundred threats, from the day you took over the CEO position. But this one is different." "How?" Curiosity raised in her. "They'll set your house on fire and let your family burn. Which they think is easy, they wish." "This old..." "It's not from that old geezer, our team is tracking it." "Oh! New one, good enough. I'll be bored soon with that old geezer Bao so, I need a toy anyway." ZouMi looked pleased.

He groans dramatically and I just watch him, fuming. “You’re lucky that I have other things planned for you, Vaughn. Or I would have tied you up and gotten five men to cum on your face just to make you pay for doing this shit. And maybe I can be generous enough and ask them to fuck you.” He scoffs, his threat sending chills down my spine. Why does it sound like he will really carry out his threat?