I Can't Carry This Anymore

ความรู้สึกทั้งรัก และ เกลียดน่ะ มันมีอยู่จริงๆนะ ตัวฉันน่ะ ทั้งรัก และทั้งเกลียดเขาในเวลาเดียวกันเลยล่ะ ฉันเกลียดเขา แต่ทว่า….ก็เลิกรักเขาไม่ได้เหมือนกัน

Following a heartbreak from my betrothed and the man I have loved all of my life, I leave my home and family behind, seeking solace in the Realm of the Humans. Having no qualifications to live in a world bound by stupid rules has me jumping at an absurdly good offer to be the personal assistant to a top class business man. And my first assignment is delivering his forgotten wedding rings to the event. I found my mate. My boss, standing at the altar, exchanging vows with a puny human woman I could break in half if I wanted to. I flee, fingers clutching the damned ring boxes. He leaves his fiancée at the altar, chasing after me, but it makes no difference to me. I have had my fair share of rejections and I can't take anymore of it. So, I reject him, before he can do the same to me. But rather than cower in pain, he cracks a grin that makes my stony heart stumble, and leans forward, several feet taller than me. "And you're fired."

I no longer recognize myself. Not recognizing who I have turned to. Maybe it was meant to be this way. I don’t know how within the space of five years I and Noah turned into something that was never in my imagination. We turned to strangers. At this time four years ago, we were the newest couple, the Hollywood upcoming celebrities that everyone was rooting for, our relationship was the envy of the whole Hollywood… then everything changed. Then I threw it all away… even though I knew that he was ’it’ for me. I got greedy. I tried to match up his fame which was silly. You can’t compare a god and a prodigy. I was a prodigy but Noah…. He was a god.

After another one of Winifred Clayton's dramatic suicide threats, Edgar Snider secretly starts a relationship with her behind my back under one condition—I can never find out about it. He says, "I can be with you, but Wanda is everything to me. Whatever happens between us, she can never know." Winifred pretends to agree. Then, she sends me a video of her and Edgar living together, my son included. "No matter what happens, Edgar will never leave me. So stop deluding yourself—you were never a match for me." What she doesn't know is that I never plan to compete. In just one month, I'll be on a flight to Avernia, gone from Edgar's life for good.

I was in a temporary shock from an allergic reaction. The two guys I had grown up with didn't even look my way. One of them was busy helping Vivian Byrd carry a pile of gifts, while the other was snapping pictures of her at some popular social media spot. It was a stranger passing by who called an ambulance and got me to the hospital, saving my life. The next day, Vivian called, her tone almost smug. "Trish, Zeke and Hendrick were so exhausted after shopping with me yesterday. I heard you threw a tantrum and ended up in the hospital. Should I come visit you?" I simply replied, "No need." Zeke Benson and Hendrick Peay were my childhood friends. They once treated me like I was everything to them—promising to pluck the moon and stars from the sky and to protect me forever. But ever since Vivian came into the picture, their world no longer revolved around me. I thought for a moment and then dialed my mother's number. "Mom, I'll accept the marriage arrangement."

They had been married for three years, yet he treated her like dirt while he gave Lilith all of his love. He neglected and mistreated her, and their marriage was like a cage. Zoe bore with all of it because she loved Mason deeply! That was, until that night. It was a downpour and he abandoned his pregnant wife to spend time with Lilith. Zoe, on the other hand, had to crawl her way to the phone to contact an ambulance while blood was flowing down her feet. She realized it at last. You can’t force someone to love you. Zoe drafted a divorce agreement and left quietly. … Two years later, Zoe was back with a bang. Countless men wanted to win her heart. Her scummy ex-husband said, “I didn’t sign the agreement, Zoe! I’m not going to let you be with another man!” Zoe smiled nonchalantly, “It’s over between us, Mason!” His eyes reddened when he recited their wedding vows with a trembling voice, “Mason and Zoe will be together forever, in sickness or health. I refuse to divorce!”

My biggest mistake was marrying the Alpha who hated me. To him, I was never a wife or a Luna, just a living blood bank kept alive to save the woman he loved. My stepsister. He believed every lie she told him and never once chose to believe me. When I finally couldn’t endure it anymore and walked away, he was certain I would come crawling back. He was so sure I wouldn’t survive without him. But I didn’t return. I died instead. At least, that’s what the world believes. Only after my death did he begin to question everything. Only then did the truth surface. Only then did he realize that the woman he destroyed was the only one who had ever loved him without conditions. They say death ends everything. For me, it was only the beginning. Now… I am the Alpha’s greatest regret.

That winter, our whole family went skiing in Aespen, Amestia. It was a popular spot for werewolf nobles and the wealthy. Then, the avalanche struck. My father's first instinct was to scoop up Summer—his sleeping adopted daughter—and flee. My mother, panicked, still made sure to grab the stray puppy Summer had found. They returned to the Moonshadow Pack that same night, posting a flood of photos online and rejoicing over their miraculous escape. Not one of them remembered me. Their biological daughter was still buried beneath the snow, waiting for rescue. When I was finally rescued, I did not look back. I took my mentor's offer to study abroad and left the pack behind. I moved to Cascade City to study medicine. No more pleading, no more shrinking myself in hopes of earning back my family's love. Yet they only seemed more disgruntled. "Rose, why aren't you competing with Summer for our attention anymore?"

I laid there unmoving, my hands shivered, my legs twitched as if rooted to the floor, tears rolled down my cheeks as I came to a realization. There laying a few metres away from me laid dad, whose eyes were closed as he drowned in his pool of blood, a deep hole in his heart while he laid unwavering. "Dad...wake up dad, dad please wake up." I squealed and then shook dad severally, but he was long gone, there was no coming back for him anymore, I growl and cried in silence, everything happened too fast.

The person I don't wanna see again was really Infront of me. "Dave?" I asked. "Yes Amber it's me, so glad you didn't forget my name" He said. How could I forget the person who broke me. "You need to sleep a little longer" Dave said to me. And I saw him injected something on me and it makes me slept again. The moment I wake up I saw Dave staring at me. "Hey, are you watching me while I'm sleeping?" I asked. "Yeah, you love it when I watched you sleeping" he answered. The heck he didn't forget those little things that I loved him doing. "Why did you drink too much alcohol I told you before that your body reacts bad on this activity right, look at you now you are here at the hospital instead of enjoying your bridal shower" He still a good man I know, he still the one who's got so angry when I drunk too much alcohol.