Novel & Cerita I Love You So Much That I Hate You

Why do I badly wanna hear her scream my name out of intense ecstasy? Why did I spend the whole night daydreaming about the dirtiest, kinkiest shit I wanna do to her? I'm supposed to hate her, for fuck’s sake! But I don't. Or maybe I do. But I also love her. That sounds fucking crazy. But it's genuinely how I feel. I love her so fucking much but I hate her just as much. I shot. “Bullseye!” I took another.

"I love you so fucking much." And I did.

He shrugs, “If you want to put it that way, sure.” “What do you mean ‘sure’? It’s either you love me or you hate me. You can’t feel both at the same time.” Looking up again, he is definitely serious with what he’s about to say, “I hate that you don’t want us, I hate that you would always treat me as if I’m less, but that doesn’t mean I can erase my love for you just like that. I loved you with all my heart when we were together, I love you still, Soph.”

I understood why he did it, but I still couldn’t accept being used like that. "Because I hate myself." "What?" I thought I misheard. "I said..." "Forget it. I don’t care if it’s love or hate, I don’t want to know. I want to go back." "I said, I hate that I love you. I could’ve easily used you to achieve my plans without any guilt, but I can’t be that heartless. I hate that I love a poor, ordinary, naive, foolish girl like you, who still somehow manages to captivate me."

Every day the contradiction got worse instead of better. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but all I could hear was my own voice whispering the terrible truth. I love you but I hate how you came to be. I love you but I wish you had a different father. I love you but you tie me to the man who destroyed me. Both things were true. Both things were unbearable. And I had no idea how to live with both things at the same time.

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I screamed venom out of my voice,as I dragged my hands away from him, almost like his hands burnt me. " I swear I did not mean to hurt you.....I really do regret it" I heard him say instead, holding my hands firmly while refusing to let my hands go. " I hate you so much....why do you have to do this to me....I mean I did absolutely nothing but love you.....how could you?" I exclaimed very angry,as I felt nothing but just hurt at the moment. "I know,but I promise to make it up to you everyday of my life till I die....I just need you to forgive me, don't leave me please" I heard him say while pulling me into a tight hug making it totally unable for me to get out of his embrace.

Like my eyes were about to fall out this instance. "Yup!" They both said while giving me flat tone. "What's got into you bro's!" I said to them but still they all look at me seriously. "Woah seriously? Gezz fine I'll answer your questions ok!" I said as they still like to pushed that topic so I surrender. " Of course we all wanted to have someone to love and cherish ok? But not for now!" I said while giving them cheeky smile. "Idiot!" Blake mumbled.

____________________ ~ Sometimes I just hate to love you I'm doin' time but I don't mind I'll be just fine Sometimes I just hate to love you I'm doin' time but I don't mind I'll be just fine Sometimes I just hate to love you Oh oh uh oh Oh oh uh oh Oh oh uh oh Oh I'm doin' time It's a real fight But its all right Sometimes I just hate to love you~ Her voice rang in my ear and brought me back from the La La land of my thoughts as she completed the song. I know she is looking at me. I can feel her glare on me.... Her voice held pain, anger, hatred all directed at me..... I looked up when our professor said, "woah that was intense! You so beautifully spoke your emotions with the lyrics! And you

"I hate you". Those were the only words that were constantly ringing in my head as I walked towards the café. My name is Rose and I've always been the pretty girl everyone wanted except this badass of a boy that does annoy me every time. I had promised myself that I wouldn't go back there, but here I was, standing outside the door. My heart was racing as I pushed it open and stepped inside. The smell of freshly brewed coffee hit my nose, and my eyes scanned the room, searching for the person I had been avoiding for the past few weeks.