I Thought It Was Just Me Novels & Stories

Then the final cut. “And I can’t let anyone hurt him.” My chest tightened. “Not even you.” Something inside me cracked. Not loud. Not dramatic. Just clean. Sudden clarity hit like freezing water dragged over skin. Of course. Of course this was ridiculous. What had I been thinking? Me. Him. That idea It was never real. Never possible. Never anything more than a mistake I hadn’t admitted to myself yet. Nate reached across the table. Instinctively, I did the same.

What the hell was I even thinking? I stand, pulling on a pair of jeans and heading toward the kitchen. I need coffee, something to snap me out of this haze. As I wait for the machine to brew, her words echo in my mind, sharp and unrelenting. “The fact that you thought it was is crazy.” Maybe it is. Maybe I am. Or maybe, I’m just tired of everything being so damn hollow.

Maybe I was standing here in someone else’s hallway at almost midnight analyzing a single syllable like it was a code I needed to crack, which would make me exactly as unhinged as the two people I had just spent the evening judging. I was probably overthinking it. I was almost certainly overthinking it. I went downstairs, got my keys, and walked out into the cold air, and told myself to let it go.

I thought I had come to terms with my illness, but I couldn’t get over the feeling that I was running out of time. What if I was even worse off than I thought?

I still had somewhere important to be, so being here and having this conversation was only stopping me from being where I’m supposed to be. “I’m sure I wasn’t wrong.” I muttered to myself in deep thought as I got to the room.

The question echoed throughout my mind as I laid there on the cold ground. I had a million thoughts running through my head, but none of them really mattered. None of them made sense, none of them made any sense at all. It was useless to think about. It was pointless to waste energy worrying about something that could not possibly happen. Nothing would ever change between us, I told myself. Nathan loved me. That was clear now.

" You don't remember me? “ It was embarrassing in a way, but yet — once again I had to put up with the fact that it would always be around one way or the other and I hated it , I hated the very thought of having the annoying glitch at the back of my mind frequently and it was frustrating when I thought about it. I stopped and looked at again trying to accertain this time what all of this was about. I wondered to myself how everyone got going and couldn't find out the exact reason. She wasn't the first that would have walked up to me looking that way, looking so confused.

As I strolled back to my Antarctica, the only coherent thought I could form in my head at that moment was: What the fuck just happened?

I shrugged it off, telling myself I was just hearing things, but deep down, I knew that something was not alright with me. “The Necklace” I thought. It can only be the reason for this, but I don't have it anymore.

That's why I'm having crazy thoughts, I said to myself. It was Amelia after all. And Amelia Forbes was nothing but a clumsy waste of space.