I Think I Am Alone Now Novels & Stories

​As I stood surrounded by hundreds of people, utterly and completely alone, one thought echoed through my shattered heart: ​If even my mate believes I don't belong… then where in this world do I go?

If I think too much about it, I feel like I can suffocate in the overwhelming reality of it all. "Mamá," I weep, even though I know she can't hear me. It's comforting to know that she and my Dad have passed on....but I selfishly want to be able to talk to them like I can with Ariella. "Me siento solo..." I feel alone. So Alone. I feel like a gasket that has built up too much pressure, and now is letting it all out. It's relieving but strangling all at once. I kneel there and silently pray to whoever is listening...to help me.

No one is coming to save me. I'm alone. I've always been alone. And I always will be. The thought should make me cry more, but I'm all out of tears. So I just lie there in the dark, hurting and empty, and wait for morning to come. Because morning always comes. And with it, another day in hell.

I Throw my hands out in frustration, the anger and pain building inside me. “God why can’t you see it? You claim to know who I am, who I want to be, well I call bullshit. Because if that were the case you would know that I am alone. As alone as they come and yes I have Melody and yes I sat with those kids at lunch freshman year but I have been alone my entire life. The only person I have always had was…” But I stop. I cover my hands over my mouth and my eyes go wide. ‘shit shit shit shit. Nessa what do I do?’ I call to her.

World, I want to leave you better I want my life to matter But I am afraid I have no purpose here I watch the news on TV, Abandoned myself early I am afraid to let you see the real me.. I closed my eyes at that last line. It totally related to me. I leaned onto the shelf behind me when I felt my legs wobble. You're not alone in all this, You're not alone I promise And then together we can do anything... Someone was singing along with me.

I watch him walk out, his confidence radiating as he leaves me behind in my messy, sleepy state, surrounded by the remnants of a night filled with dreams that now feel utterly out of reach. I realize, with a sinking feeling, that this is what I have to deal with from now on—alone. Alone to eat, sleep, talk, and navigate the complexities of a life that suddenly feels like it’s spiralling out of my control. The weight of solitude presses down on me, and I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "It's okay, Olivia. This is happening; it's no big deal," I whisper to myself, the words barely a comfort. I push myself to stand.

Zahra's POV I bite back a laugh, fairly certain that wasn't his intended word choice, and sigh. “I’ve just been enjoying some time alone. It feels like it’s been forever since I had a moment to myself. And I realized that although at first it was nice, now I feel lonely. And then I started thinking about how lonely I used to feel all the time, and how different life is now…” My voice catches, embarrassing me further. “Then I realized that I'm leaving soon, and I won't be surrounded by all my friends for years. Maybe forever… and…”

“Are you sure? “I murmured. I still had to confirm. “Positive …Now you take care of yourself and make sure that you recover soon. I’ll call you as soon as I’m able to “She hurriedly said and sent me kisses over the phone “I mumbled softly “Bye “ just before the call was cut off . As I lay on the bed staring at the white celling, loneliness washed over me and I couldn’t help tears flowing on my face. At least when I’m alone, there is no one to judge me . I can cry, curse and do anything that I want in order to ease the pain of missing him . At that moment my mind completely shifted to Adrian. I’ve been trying so hard not to think about him but it seems that my mind didn’t want to obey me. Hon