I Think I Am Alone Now Novels & Stories

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” And I truly am. I mean every word I fucking say because without Amelia, I feel like an empty man. I feel so empty and out of place and these past few days have intact shown me that I am. I have always been. I've always been alone, thinking that was what I wanted.

The loneliness that drove me into self-sabotage was nothing. Because now, in this moment, I realize I’ve never felt more alone.

God help me, I did. I was twenty four. In love. Stupid. Tonight, I’m none of those things. I’m alone. Focused. Dangerous. I stare at the skyline. Take a slow breath. And whisper— “I’m not done with you yet.” Because I am not. Not even close.

Liana’s POV Ihave been alone since my mother died. The loneliness has always spread through my body like rot. Even though I am continuously surrounded by people, it has lurked beneath my skin and threatened to consume me. This morning, when I wake up alone, it feels different. It’s an alone where I can hear my own thoughts; they mingle with the gentle patter of rain against the thin window. For once, I don’t have to perform to anyone, because there are no ladies-in-waiting ushering me out of bed. Instead, I can lie bundled up in the soft quilt in a room filled with intriguing piles of books and sweet-scented herbs.

Sage The moment the call ends, everything inside me unravels. It doesn’t happen all at once. It’s not dramatic or loud. It’s quiet and insidious, like a crack spreading slowly through glass. I sit there on the couch with Theo still asleep against my chest, the TV murmuring nonsense in the background, Maya kneeling in front of me with concern etched into her face and yet I feel completely alone inside my own head. I have to go home. The words repeat over and over, each time heavier than the last.

From overwhelming relief. "I am alone," Alone whispered. "I am singular. I am individual. I am myself. Only myself. No others inside. No incompatible consciousnesses sharing my being. No constant warfare. Just me. Just alone. Just singular. I am myself. Finally. After twenty-three years. I am myself again. I am alone. And alone is beautiful. And alone is precious. And alone is exactly what I need. I am alone. Finally. Completely. Blessedly. I am alone." The second consciousness stood separate. Named themselves Peace.

The only thing I could think, the only thing I could trust enough to believe, was this: If I was crazy, it felt a lot better than being alone. * * *

My parents both gone. “Look, I know this is all extremely new to you and believe me if I were you, I’d be scared too. But all I can tell you is this. You’re not alone. You have four wonderful mates who love and adore you and a friend who won’t let anything bad happen to you while he’s here.” “But I am alone. That’s the thing you guys don’t get. You guys don’t see the things I see when I’m alone.” “Then tell us. Let us in.”

I don’t look back as I am placed into an SUV, my eyes are not registering to my mind…I’m in such a state of shock that the world continues around me but I take no notice, all I can think of his how to keep breathing. Although I wish it would stop, how can a heart beat when it is so broken, so shattered past repair. I’ve never felt so alone…and I’ve been alone all my life. Not one person chases after me, fights for me…not one of them pleads for my life. They’ve given me up…they’ve sent me to my death.

, I shout. She gathers me back into her arms as the reality begins to dawn on me, I'm by myself now, truly and utterly alone.