I Will Never Be Good Enough Novels & Stories

Because everything was wrong. I couldn't hate myself more but I did as she cried again and again. I hesitantly edged forward and sat by her side on the bed. I wanted to be the one to dry her tears, to hold her up when she was falling apart. I wanted her to need me just as badly as I needed her...but that was a dream, a sick joke, a kind of peace I will never reach. Because I can't live up to it. I can't be good enough - even when every piece of me wanted to be.

She was like an older sister, which I never had. I finally sputtered a few words: "I feel like in my situation, I'm hoping for too much, but I know whatever I do, I'll never be enough." I said this with tears streaming down the sides of my cheeks. "You're so much more than just enough, Steph. Your heart is filled with so much love and compassion. Life will give it all back to you. It might take a while, but it will happen, believe me." I summoned all of my energy to bring a smile to my face.

“All my life, I’ve done as you asked… Did I still not achieve what I was supposed to achieve? Am I still not enough?!” I didn’t know exactly what papa was trying to say. All my life I’ve tried to please him. All my life, I’ve followed him. I never questioned his decisions. Even when he would lock me inside my bedroom at times, for several days or months just because he thought I’ve had done something unsatisfactory, or just because I reminded him of my mama, I did not complain… And yet, how can I never be enough? When will I be good enough for anything?

It doesn't mean you will forever do things according to their will and satisfactions. That's what I have learned from my experiences. I may not be the best person anyone had met, but I know I tried my best to prove to them that I'm worth having for. But maybe it wasn't good enough, I'm still not enough 'cause in the first place, I'm not the right person they've been looking for.

And then, finally, his voice broke. “I can’t do this,” he whispered. His head dipped forward, and I felt his breath against my neck, shaky. “I can’t… It’s never enough. No matter how hard I try, it’s never enough.” My heart ached at the vulnerability in his words. “What do you mean?” I asked softly, brushing his hair back from his forehead. “Nicholas, talk to me. I’m here.” He let out a shuddering breath "Do you know what it’s like to be told every day that you’re worthless unless you’re perfect?”

I’ve never been enough. I wasn’t enough for my father, for the committee, for my pack. I’ve always come up short. Hell, I’m man enough to admit it was almost always my doing. I was weak to my father, ruthless to others, and too like my father for my pack to respect me. And now I’m not enough for her, and I can’t even blame her for it, because it seems to just be who I am. Even when I tried to be more, I am most undoubtedly less.

A wound that would never fully close, a scar that would always ache. "I was the one who was not enough," he said, his voice breaking. "I was the one who was weak, who was afraid, who could not see what was right in front of me. You were always enough, Aria. You were more than enough. I was the one who failed."

Sorry would never be enough. Not for this. Not even close.

Don’t let go. I try. I swear I try so hard. But it’s slipping. Everything’s slipping through my fingers like water. I can’t hold on... Yes you can! I’m not strong enough! You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. I’m nothing. The words tear out of me, ugly and true. I’m nobody. Just some random human girl who never belonged anywhere. I’m not a goddess. I’m not powerful. I’m just… me. And that’s never been enough...

Of course, I cared… or I would not be in this state. When have I ever bothered about what another thought of my actions? Never. When have I tried to do something to impress another? Never… But now although I care, it is for a woman who doesn’t care for my attempts… Or I’m just not good enough for her. But is that not the case all the time? I always fall short. No matter how hard I try, I’m never able to do the right thing. And maybe that’s why I should be alone.