Kenapa Hidupku Seperti Ini Novels & Stories

Can someone please wake me up when everything's fine? Who would enjoy a life where problems come one after another? I am just trying to survive. I am just trying to change my fate, but what are all these? "Haa…" I'm tired…

I’ve always secretly wanted to be wanted. Messy.Mad. I want to haunt him. I still. What am I thinking? Who even am I? Oh Lord… please show me the way. Cause living like this is so hard. What have I done?

Chapter 3: The Tribe of Picaresque I feel so alive, and free from my misery. Feel so bliss that no one can even describe. Life is really full of surprises, me and myself is the living evidence of it. In my decades of existence, I thought my life only revolve with me and my mess up life. I can't seem find the reason why do I even exist. I'm already 23, but I feel so lifeless. Some of people at my age, already enjoying and living the life they desire and aim for. Except maybe for me.I don't have anyone beside me. I can't even call someone as my family.

Dammit, just the last dose. And this is the reason I never have money for myself. I have to buy these stupid pills that are so expensive or else I won't be able to live. Maybe I should just die. No one knows me, no one cares, no one will cry, no one will even notice. My body will probably be found decayed by the landlord who comes to ask for overdue rent. I sigh heavily. Is this life really worth living? No, bad thoughts are not needed. I need to stay alive for all the people I was created to touch their lives. It will get better.

Sometimes, he feels like my whole fucking life. And, how can one not recognise life? How can one not live the life? How can I?

But instead of being happy for being able to survive, I could not find even a small happiness in my heart about it. Why did He let me survive? He should have just let me die. I just want to fucking die. Why am I still alive? Why the fuck am I still in this fucking cruel world? I do not want to be here. I am tired of living this life. I just want to be in peace. I just want to be with my wife... Why can't He just give me what I want? Why can't He just let me fucking die? Why does He have to let me survive? Is this His punishment for all the cruel things I have done in my past? A painful life without my wife? Is this what He wants for me?

This dress, this life is something I’ve never encountered. I wonder what it’s like to live like this every day.

he asked sitting back down in front of me I don't know exactly how to answer that question. "I don't even know, I feel lost, tired sometimes, I want to disappear sometimes, it feels like the world forgot you just like you forgot them, what is the need of having this life when you have no recollection of living it in the first place, a lot of unfamiliar faces and event, how it feels hearing things about you that you know are not true or are they, I don't even know, feels like I am naked for everyone to watch, the constant panic attack when somebody approaches you, debating whether you should talk to this person or not, or what if I was bad to this person, oh you were such a snob, oh you were

I couldn't take it anymore and all I wanted to do was to yell out to the universe to just take my life already, I was so fed up and tired of this. Why do all the bad things in the world have to happen to me? Why can't I live a life like any normal person and just be me? Why? Here I was thinking, my situation was the worst thing any person could find themselves in and then I ended up right into another trouble bigger than the one I was dealing with.

Life is so confusing. ***