Kenapa Hidupku Seperti Ini 소설 & 이야기

All because of this messed up situation. How did I end up like this? It makes no sense. --------------------

Kaya lang naisip ko rin na bigyang pagkakataon ang aking sarili na maranasan ang ganitong uri ng buhay. Iyong hindi lamang puro sa aking kinabukasan ang iniisip kung hindi ay ang tungkol sa mga bagay na pino-problema rin ng karamihan na kagaya nito. I wanted to experience on how to be a normal person. Normal in terms of different aspects including the lifestyle. Like experiencing on going to a club or bar hopping, partying and such. I wanted to experience those. The things I haven't done before.

my life has gotten much worse! Not a day I have had a relaxing time at home....house does not feels like home all I wanna do is end my college and leave this hell hole! For once....why can't I live a normal happy life....why does all the problems surrounds me only....as if I don't have enough in my hands and now this Neil problem too I have to face..... Fuck my life! ×××××××××××××××××××× ¶2 months after¶

I was also not in situation. Why am I even alive?? Why allah didn't took me instead of her?? Why?? Why?? Why?? My life became a hell after she left us. I am dieing every moment. Mom says that allah chooses good things for good people and bad things for bad people. Am I that bad?? Don't I deserve happiness?? I also want to live my life normally. Bohot akela kar diya hai Mere apno ne mujhe. Samajh nahi aata main bura hu

Right now, I'm empty. Why are these things happening to me? I am really a pathetic person.

I voiced out loudly. I didn't mean to raise my voice, but I was angry at myself, at everything. Why is my life just messed up ? Why did my mum leave me when I need her the most. Why is life so unfair? Why is it so unfair to me most especially. "How would you be able to face everyone around you? would you be comfortable telling your friends, your Wife is deaf? I've never even met any of your friends Kene " I said whispering the last part.

None of this! "This is a curse, or what? Is this the price I need to pay to be this monster? I never asked to be like this! I was fine living a normal life with her! Why do you have to do this? I never wanted to have this power! Why did you choose me? Why does it have to be me, huh? F*ck this life!" I cursed everything and tried to control myself from being angrier.

God i’m stupid. How am I going to survive this day?

How toxic my mind is. And the fact that It was all because of me and if it wasn’t me it would never have happened. Why is everything like this? Can I just die it why it should be the person who's important to me be affected like this, So many lives have been lost because of my negligence I have not even been able to save them. I know it is just a test but I can't really accept everything that's happening, it's so sudden it's shocking and It made me want to give up everything

"This what you've always did right?" "This is what my mom taught me.. And this is why I'm alive right now. Life is tough Ave and every second person will try to bring you down..