Little Johnny Jokes Dirty Novels & Stories

“In the middle of a dark forest, a man and a woman have sex. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, ‘Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!’ The woman replies, ‘Me too. You’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!’” Then I burst into loud laughter. ********* “Stop it, Conan. For Christ’s sake.” I laughed frantically to get away from him. A chuckle broke out while he tickled my neck, armpits, and waist. “If you don’t stop being childish, I will surely kill you.” “Would you like me to tell you another joke?” “Oh, no!” I blurted out. “I’ll pee in my gown if you don’t stop your dirty jokes.”

The room erupted in laughter and shouts as Joyce let out a muffled squeal that quickly turned into a laugh. When they finally pulled apart, Joyce’s face was flushed pink. “You’re insane!” Sandra grinned. “And you liked it.” Amara whistled. “Well, this party just got interesting.” The game went on… wild, messy, and full of laughter. Amara dared Joyce to flash her bra through the window. Sandra made me take a shot off her neck… which ended in both of us giggling uncontrollably and almost spilling the drink. And when it was Amara’s turn, Joyce dared her to sit on Sandra’s lap and whisper something dirty in her ear.

While, Scarlet cheered even louder. "And since we are all passing comments, let me pass one too, you look like someone who has a teensy weensy crusty lil dick, who haven't got some in years, cuz no girl or boy wants to get near let alone get fucked or fuck you cuz you’re so unlikable and pathetic like that. Also, you’re also a 27 year old freeloader who dropped out and then kicked out by his parents cuz they don’t want a dirty wet sock as their son, and your dad probably regrets not pulling out sooner and your mum wishes she was on birth control, and now you live off on your friends money or you probably do them favors and suck them off cuz apparently the only thing you’re actually good at i

“Now. The laugh. I heard you yesterday, when you thought no one was listening. It’s too high.” He stopped in front of me, tapping his own chest. “Elion’s was deeper. From here.” The gesture was intimate. Unexpected. I flinched. His jaw tightened instantly. “Try again,” he said. “I’ll tell you a joke. It’s a terrible one. Elion hated it.” He told it anyway... something painfully unfunny involving a squirrel and a priest. I forced out a weak chuckle, the sound thin and hollow. “No.” The word cracked like a whip.

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

“Uncle Jerry, do you know any more jokes?” I glanced over at Iris, half-expecting her to shoot me down again, but she didn’t say anything. So, I leaned in toward Lyra, lowering my voice conspiratorially. “Alright, alright, here’s a good one. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?” Lyra’s eyes widened with curiosity. “Why?” “Because they don’t have the guts!” I said with a wink, and Lyra burst out laughing, her giggles contagious as Logan joined in, even though he probably didn’t get the joke.

Macy said coldly. "What did you say?" Johnny couldn't believe these words came from a beautiful woman. "Are you deaf? If you dare touch these two, I guarantee you'll be searching for your teeth on the ground after I beat you up!" she raised her voice. After hearing her words, Johnny and the surrounding people burst into laughter. "Hahaha! This joke is hilarious!" "Oh my god, I can't take it! It's so funny!" "So boastful!" Johnny and his group found Macy's words unbelievable.

he laughed as he grabbed a lighter from the glove compartment. ********** A few minutes later we were high as a kite. Jonny kept giggling like a little girl high on sugar. "So how many panties have you collected since you've been in town," he puffed, then he passed the joint over to me. "One," I took the joint and sucked on it. "There was this one girl who was at the hotel where I was doing my decompression. We hooked up a few times that one night. Shit! I don't even remember her name."

Gideon didn’t seem to have a problem with it, he just squatted there and watched her with lips apart. To all of our shock, Jennifer unzipped his pants and brought out his wiener. Screams pulled off the roof as we all saw his little pimp, he was hard already and that made it even funnier. The little man must have been looking forward to such an opportunity, now it makes sense why he still shows up after we make fun of him every game night.

Then someone in the crowd sneered, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, that must be Sophia's sugar daddy. Showed up to defend her. She's not picky, is she. She'll take a guy in his fifties." The crowd erupted. Some covered their mouths, laughing. Others joined in openly. "Yeah, I heard she doesn't care about age. Maybe this old man's a regular too." The dean's expression tightened. He turned sharply toward the crowd. "All of you–shut your mouths!" He glanced at my injuries, his voice urgent.