Online Dating Funny Quotes

Devin King was my first—well, everything. They say you never forget your first. Whoever said that was right because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him out of my head or my heart. I foolishly thought my heart wouldn’t miss what it couldn’t see, but I was wrong because I never forgot, not for one moment. You’re not supposed to kiss your best friend. You’re not supposed to give your virginities to one another, either—but we did. We were kids, teenagers, full of hormones and mixed emotions, but it felt right. He was the first boy to kiss me, the first boy to touch me and taste me in a way only a lover would. “Say you want to be mine….” He whispered while I shook in his arms. And I did. And then he wrecked me. After I trusted him and gave myself to him, he disappeared, left me in my , the scent of him still lingering on my skin, the taste of his kiss still fresh on my lips. He left me after the amazing night we shared after we became one another’s and disappeared without a word. Until one day ten years later he pops up like a rash as the newly appointed CEO of our firm. Was I shocked to see him standing in the office after a decade? Yes. Did I almost faint? Hell yes. My heart may have melted a little when he smiled right at me, but he wouldn’t ever know that—because I hated him. But here I am, the VP of an established publication firm standing in the CEO’s office handcuffed to the pompous face. Why are we handcuffed you ask? Well, that's a funny story...

Oladele Anjola is an 100lvl student of Computer Science who just got admitted into Federal University of Technology, otherwise known as FUTA. She's extremely reserved and a big introvert. Although beautiful and intelligent, she has zero social skills. Adeleke Kolawole is your typical one of the most popular guys at FUTA. Cute, tall, handsome and brilliant and has more than half of the female population running after him. But Kola is the second definition of being snubbish and icy. He barely has friends and keeps to himself. Jola is totally smitten by Kola on their meeting and for the first time in Kola's life, he has a girl in his head. No matter how hard he tries to get her out of his head, she wouldn't budge, its not like he wanted her out of his head though. And so, an interesting love story starts. What will happen when Jola discovers that her very first friend in FUTA, Fisayo also has a huge crush on Kola. Will she give him up for friendship or give up her friendship for Kola. Its truly an hard decision, but sometimes before anyone else, we should come first.

Inalok ng kasal ni Glazer si Maureen hindi bilang asawa kundi bilang slave ninto upang maging kabayaran sa tulong na ibibigay niya sa ama ninto,ngunit ang kasal ay paraan lamang ni Glazer upang makaganti sa ama ni Maureen,nais niyang si Maureen ang magbayad ng lahat ng kasalanan ng ama ninto sa kanya,kaya't gagawin niyang lahat upang maiparamdam kay Maureen ang ganti ng pagkapoot niya,pahihirapan niya ito, hangga't maramdaman ninto ang sakit at pagdurusa na naranasan din niya ng dahil sa ama ninto. Ngunit lumipas ang panahon na nasasaktan na rin siya sa ginagawa niya kay Maureen at may parte sa puso niya na sumisigaw na mahal na rin niya ito at handa na siyang iparamdam dito ang kanyang pagmamahal ngunit sa paanong paraan dahil sa panahong iyon ay puno na ng pagkapoot ang puso ni Maureen para sa kanya at handa na siya nintong talikuran.

Aaron Morris had it all. Good looks, a beautiful girlfriend, good grades in college. He only had one problem. He was being stalked by a red-haired nightmare otherwise known as Bella Davis! She was the bane of his existence, a thorn on his side who won't leave him alone no matter what. Will he ever get rid of her or will she continue to annoy him with her unrequited love?*This is the spin-off of The Ugly One but can be read as a stand alone novel. However, I recommended you read that one first :)*

Naging masaya ang pagsasama ni Kimberly at Alex sa loob ng ilang buwan. Hindi man gusto ng mga magulang ni Alex ay itinuloy niya pa rin ang pagpapakasal kay Kim at napagpasyahan nilang manirahan nalang sa New York. Dahil sa isang aksidente ay nagbago ang kanilang buhay. Hindi siya makapaniwala na ang tanging taong nagmamahal sa kaniya ay nawala na. Napag-isipan niyang bumalik nalang sa Pilipinas dahil alam niyang mabubulok lang siya sa New York. Ikinagimbal naman ng sarili niya nang makita ang isang diyaryo kung saan kalat na sa buong bansa ang engrandeng engagement party ni Alex at ng bagong fiancée nito, na ang nakakagulat pa ay pinsan niya itong is Breatrice. Hindi alam ni Kim kung ano ang magiging reaksyon niya sa nalamang balita. Ang akala niyang napayapa nang asawa, ay magpapakasal na pala ngayon sa bagong fiancée nito. Hindi naman inaasahan ni Kimberly ang mangyayari, hindi siya kilala ni Alex, at lalong hindi na rin siya mahal ng lalaki. Matagal ding ipinilit ni Kimberly ang sarili niya kay Alex, ngunit kahit ano pa ang gawin niya ay mukhang hindi na talaga siya kilala ng lalaki. Kimberly needs to redeem herself again. Nawala siya sa kaniyang sarili simula nang malaman niyang patay na ang asawa, at ngayon na hindi na siya kilala nito, mas lalo namang lumakas ang loob ni Kimberly na magpursigi sa buhay. She wants to prove herself, ipapakita niya sa buong pamilya ni Alex na ang dating babaeng kinukutya nila ay nawala na.

"If you want a divorce, sabihin mo lang, and I will give it to you." "Tapos ano? Mawawalan ako ng karapatan sa bahay natin na milyun-milyon ang kontribusyon ko? 'Di na lang, uy! Magtiis tayo sa isa't-isa, sa hirap at ginhawa, araw at gabi, magpakailan-kailanman. Amen!" Hope Ryker Lee, the ultimate prankster, is set to marry Elisse Garcia, an heiress with a temper hotter than the sun and social skills colder than Antarctica. Hope wanted a partner as fun and lively as he is, but Elisse is introverted, snarky, and definitely not interested in playing along with Hope's high-energy antics. For Elisse, the marriage is purely a means to secure her inheritance. So, her master plan? Marry Hope, take over the company, and then kick him out of her life. Simple, right? Not quite. There's a catch: whoever calls it quits first loses their claim to their multi-million house. When Hope discovers her scheme, the real fun begins. Hilarious and heated war of pranks, sabotage, and emotional showdowns turn their home into an epic battlefield. Can they survive the chaos, or will they stumble into love amidst the madness? Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughs, schemes, and surprising twists in this comedic clash of opposites!

Nagkaroon ng kaguluhan sa coffee shop na pinagtratrabahuhan ni Sabina, isang guwapong customer ang tinamaan ng baril. Duguan itong gumapang sa pinagtataguan niya at hiniling na itago niya at pakaingatan ang maliit na box. Ngunit parang nanadya ang tadhana ng araw na iyon. Pagkatapos ng pangyayari ay tumawag naman ang step-mother niya para sabihing naaksidente ang Papa niya. Hindi na natapos pa ang kanyang kamalasan simula ng araw na iyon. Pagkatapos maratay ng Papa niya sa ospital ng ilang linggo ay binawian na rin ito ng buhay. Pagkatapos ay pinalayas siya ng kanyang madrasta sa kanilang bahay at ibenenta nito ang bahay na pag-aari ng kanyang mga magulang. Hindi pa duon natapos ang kasamaan nito. Nadiskubre niyang hindi aksidente ang nangyari sa Papa niya. Ipinapatay ito ng madrasta niya para makuha nito ang insurance ng Papa niya. Sa sobrang galit at naisipan niyang maghiganti. Aakitin niya ang bilyonaryong fiance ng step-sister niya. Laking gulat niya nang mapagtantong ang fiance nito ay ang guwapong cutomer niya sa coffee shop! At hinahanap nito sa kanya ang ipinatago nitong box. Ang problema, hindi na niya maalala kung saan niya nailagay iyon! Nanganganib ang buhay ng guwapong lalaki kapag hindi niya nahanap ang box. Ngunit mas nanganganib ang puso niya dahil napagtanto niyang umiibig na pala siya sa guwapong lalaki na nadiskubre niyang isa palang Mafia Boss.

Sa loob ng maraming taon ay pilit na umaasa si Selina Ramirez na mamahalin rin siya ng kanyang asawa na si Zack Miranda. Ngunit nagtapos ang kanilang tatlong taon na pagsasama sa diborsyo. Ang araw ng panganganak ni Selina ay siya ring araw ng kasal ng kanyang ex-husband sa babaeng tunay nitong iniibig. They declared her death after giving birth. Ngunit ang hindi nila alam ay magbabalik siya. At sa hindi inaasahan ay matutuklasan niya ang isang katotohanan. Ang katotohanan na hindi lang pala kambal ang ipinanganak niya five years ago. Kundi tatlo. At kinikilala ina ng kanyang anak ang bagong asawa ni Zack. Ipaglalaban ni Selina ang kanyang karapatan kahit pa makakalaban niya ang kanyang dating asawa. Her Zillionaire's ex-husband na makapangyarihan sa lahat. Mabubuo pa kaya ang triplets? O tuluyan na itong mawawalay sa kanya?

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

She was a receptionist in one of her friend's luxurious hotels when he walked there to destroy the complete hotel. She remembers him as she knows him well since high school but he doesn't remember her because she is no more the fatty girl which she was back in her high school time. To save her friend's hotel she stood before him and he abduct her from the place. He manipulates her to become his girlfriend. Few months after he forced her into contract marriage. Several exposures exposed in her life and love blooms between them.