Online Dating Funny Quotes

I was about to confess to my online chat partner in person when a barrage of comments suddenly flashed across my mind. [Don't bother. Jedediah is avoiding her right now. He's regretting ever mixing her up with someone else.] [It's all her fault for using a profile picture so similar to Georgia's. Otherwise, Jedediah wouldn't have gotten confused.] [It's annoying to think that when Jedediah lost a game, it was the supporting role, Monica, who comforted him. All those sweet words he said were meant for the female lead, Georgia.] [Jedediah is grossed out by it, too. Georgia only added him as a friend yesterday. It's so frustrating.] [Monica is a bane!] Dazed, I ran into Jedediah Merritt, who had just finished playing basketball. He quickly averted his gaze, but I moved around him, shoving the love letter into his roommate's hands. Online chat partner? I had more than one, sending my goodnight voice messages to several people every night.

“Go on ten dates with me. I’ll prove I’m not the man you think I am. And I’ll give you a million dollars.” Cas said, looking at me like he was making a business deal. “Is this another way to have sex with me, because it’s becoming kind of desperate. ” “One million dollars. I will draw up a contract. Sex will not be one of the requirements to get the money.” “And what do you get out of it?” I asked, wondering if this was too good to be true. “You won’t get me.” “We’ll see,” Cas replied with an arrogant smirk that I wanted to smack off his face. “Do we have a deal?" ----- The arrogant billionaire Cassius Hemming is intrigued by the single mother, Ripley. Not only does she show no interest in him, while most women throw themselves at his feet, she actually shows distaste when talking to him. Cassius has always wanted what he can't have, and as a billionaire, there isn't much he is unable to buy. He is determined to win Ripley over and then punish her for rejecting him in the first place. So Cas makes Ripley a deal she can't refuse. Go on ten dates with him, and he'll pay off all her debt. But what happens when the billionaire's plan backfires?    

When Sarra Reed flies home for her best friend’s wedding, she expects a reunion filled with laughter, champagne, and nostalgia. Instead, she discovers the groom is none other than the man she thought was still her boyfriend, Ethan. Shattered and betrayed, Sarra’s world tilts again when she collides with her best friend’s older brother, Ronan Vale, Hollywood’s most notorious bad boy, a billionaire actor whose smirk could set the tabloids on fire. He's forbidden and exciting but the past won't stay buried. Her ex, now her best friend’s fiancé, wants her back, refusing to let her go without a fight. Ronan wants her too, but loving him could ruin her oldest friendship and destroy his family ties forever. Two powerful men. One broken heart. In a world of red carpets, glittering scandals, and dark secrets, Sarra must decide whether to protect her best friend or surrender to the forbidden passion threatening to consume her.

One blind date. Two reluctant hearts. A fake romance that feels way too real… Sienna Blake isn’t looking for love—not after her last relationship left her with more scars than memories. But when her meddling mother sets her up on a blind date, she agrees just to keep the peace. What she doesn’t expect is to come face-to-face with Julian Thorne—her arrogant ex’s boss, a ruthless lawyer with a reputation as cold as the suits he wears. Julian Thorne—high-powered attorney, cold-blooded strategist, and her ex’s dangerously attractive boss. They met once, a year ago, at a company gala. He thought she was a gold digger clinging to her meal ticket. She thought he was an arrogant snob with a god complex. Now he’s her blind date. Julian has his reasons for going along with the charade. Sienna might be the key to taking down a betrayal that nearly cost him everything. All he has to do is play nice, get close, and keep his heart out of it. But the more time they spend pretending, the more real it starts to feel. And when secrets from the past resurface, they’ll have to choose: continue the lie—or risk everything for the truth. From fake to fate—what if the biggest lie becomes their only truth?

Online boyfriend ko ang boss ko. Pero hindi niya alam iyon. Patuloy niyang hinihiling na makipagkita ng personal. Gee. Kung magkita kami, maaari akong maging palamuti sa pader sa sumunod na araw. Kung kaya, mabilis akong nagdesisyon na makipag break sa kanya. Nalungkot siya at ang buong kumpanya ay nagtrabaho ng overtime. Hmm, paano ko sasabihin ito? Para sa kapakanan ng mental at pisikal na kalusugan ko, siguro ang pakikipagbalikan sa kanya ay hindi ganoon kasamang ideya.

When your ex, a hockey player, begged for your forgiveness in front of everyone, making a scene, You were both awkward and angry as the team erupted into a chorus of gossip. Just when you were speechless and didn’t know what to do, The famous hockey captain raised his voice and said, “Enough. She is mine.”

I arrive in Chicago with two suitcases, a five-year-old, and no room for mistakes. It is supposed to be a fresh start at the Northline Sports Agency, until I am assigned to their most volatile player, Finn Callahan, the hometown star player I walked away from years ago after an ice accident that almost killed him. And Finn doesn't forgive, nor does he forget. With my job on the line, the best player of the Northline Agency and Finn’s charismatic teammate, Jax Mercer, offers me a lifeline. I am to pretend to be his girlfriend to rehab his Playboy rep and fill the stands. Easy, until the act starts to feel real. Until Finn Callahan begins to reel, until the secrets begin to unravel. Until it is realized that the little boy with me has eyes that look unmistakably like a Callahan.

"Panji, daripada lo stress mikir nasib setelah di PHK, mendingan kita main aplikasi kencan saja," usul Bowo, salah satu rekan kerjaku. Kami sama-sama tertekan karena baru saja di PHK, akibat perusahaan mengalami gulung tikar. Awalnya aku tak tertarik dengan ajakan Bowo. Tapi setelah dia menunjukkan foto-foto wanita cantik dan seksi di aplikasi booking online itu, hatiku pun tergiur untuk ikut dengannya. Ah, mau coba sebentar juga tak apa-apa. Lagipula istriku Shira juga tak bisa memuaskan aku. Dia sangat kusam, kucel, dan berantakan. Setiap aku pulang kerja, aku selalu disambut dengan penampilannya yang berdaster kumal, rambut diikat sembarangan, dan wajah yang berminyak ditumbuhi jerawat. Penampilannya itu membuat aku sama sekali tak tertarik padanya lagi. Aku pun tertarik untuk membooking satu wanita. Lumayan untuk menemani aku tidur, karena aku juga butuh service yang memuaskan. Dan aku rasa ini cara yang cocok. Toh aku hanya tinggal membayar dan pergi, tanpa menyisakan apapun pada wanita yang menjajakan diri di aplikasi haram itu. Kumulai dengan menscroll aplikasi hijau itu di layar ponselku. Hingga akhirnya aku tertarik pada seorang wanita yang sangat cantik dan seksi bernama Dira. Aku memutuskan untuk membooking nya. Namun, mataku menyipit saat kutatap foto itu dengan seksama. Ada rasa aneh yang merayap dalam hatiku ketika melihat foto wanita bernama Dira itu. "Kenapa foto ini sangat mirip dengan Shira?"

Addison’s heart was trampled over by her cold hearted father and her step-mother. Now years later, she has found the man of her dreams, or so she thought as Addison finds herself heartbroken at the discovery of her boyfriend in bed with her step sister. Not wanting to be the bitter ex, Addison tries to forget her pains by drinking away at a club one Friday night where she falls into a handsome stranger’s arms. Was this her chance at happiness? Addison soon finds out who the stranger actually is and just when she thought falling for her ex shattered her heart completely.... will falling for his daddy fix it? And will it be wrong to move on with her ex’s divorcée father... —

Si Ariah "Aya" Gallano ay dalawampu't dalawang taong gulang, iskolar ng kanilang bayan, at tumatayong magulang para sa kaniyang nag-iisang kapatid. Musmos pa lamang ay namulat na siya sa hagupit ng buhay dahil sa mga pagsubok na kaniyang pinagdaanan. Sa kabila nito, nanatili siyang matatag at higit na nahubok ang pagiging madiskarte. Subalit, dahil sa karamdaman ng kaniyang kapatid, kinailangan niyang makahanap ng mabilisang salapi. Siya ay napadpad sa dating application na "We Chat & Date", para humanap ng matandang lalaki na naghahanap ng kasintahan, o sugar daddy kung tawagin. Labag ito sa kaniyang kalooban, subalit kailangan niya ng mabilisang pera para sa pagpapagamot ng kapatid kaya naman isinantabi niya ang sariling prinsipyo para rito. Dito niya nakilala si Theodore Morgan, ang acting CEO ng Morgan Group, dalawampu't pitong taong gulang at ang pinaka batang business tycoon sa Pilipinas. Si Theodore ay napadpad sa dating application sa pag-asang makakahanap ng babaeng papakasalanan lamang bilang tugon sa hiling ng kaniyang lola, ang tanging tao na kumalinga sa kaniya noong mamatay ang mga magulang sa aksidente. Parehong may mithiin na nais makamit, parehong nais isakripisyo ang sariling kasiyahan para sa minamahal sa buhay. Ngunit parehong ayaw mahulog kanino man. Naniniwala silang walang puwang ang pag-ibig sa tulad nilang abala sa sarili at pangarap na nais makamit. Ano kaya ang kapalarang naghihintay para sa dalawang taong nais lang pumasok sa kasal para sa sariling motibo? Sa laro ng kasal-kasalanan, sino ang magiging taya? Kapag tadhana na ang nagpasya, mapipigilan mo ba ito?