Online Dating Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

"Don't tell me you two are dating just for fun." "Well, I won't tell you then." I nearly spat the portion of liquor I am drinking when I heard her. Putting the bottle down, I look at her as if she has grown another head. "Seriously, Caroline? Dating for fun?" "Whut?" she asks she munch the chips in her mouth. "Oh, Zha, you're still innocent. Just because you date, doesn't mean you love each other. It's fine to date even when you don't feel even the slightest love for the person you are dating with."

She broke into a contemptuous smile as she glanced at the caller ID and promptly put it on speaker. "Hello?" Grandpa's robust voice came through from the other end of the line. "Jillian, how did the blind date go?" Marlene replied arrogantly, "I take it you're Jillian's grandfather? Your granddaughter owes me two thousand dollars, so she's being held at my restaurant. "Listen up, old geezer—you'd better hurry up and bring the money here to bail her out. Otherwise, I'll strip every last one of those fakes off her and throw her out onto the street."

I quickly accepted it and almost immediately, then came a message. “Hi.” it read. “Hello.” I replied. “How are you doing.” “I think I’m doing great. How about you?” “Well, I’m okay. Seems like you’re new here?” “Yeah. I never wanted to sign up here but my friend has been on my neck to sign up. He believes I could find the love of my life here.” I replied with an LOL emoji. “LOL. He must really value you so much to believe that you’d find the love of your life on a dating site.”

she amended. “And you answered him?” I asked, horrified. The first rule of online dating was not to talk to just anyone, but knowing Rosie, she probably responded to every single request sent to the profile. This was going to be a disaster. “He was cute!” she shot back. “Super cute. And funny. You'll like him I promise.” “Funny?” I pulled back so I could look at her face. Funny meant they had a conversation. “How do you know he's funny?”

“If I choose the job, I obviously can’t go back to my mom, though?” It took her few seconds before she sighed. “Yeah, it makes sense. Sorry, I got it from p*******t and thought it was a cool quote.” I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. But failed miserably as she made an eye contact with me. I cracked up to the point she throws the sofa cushion right onto my face. “Shut up.” “It’s a cool quote, though.” “Fuck off.”

I asked like some teenage girl that was over protective of her boyfriend " I can't give you a number but I want you to know that they are plenty of them and I've been on enough first dates to know that people don't always look like their pictures because most times I do blind dates not because I can't get a woman in the real world but just because it's fun and it makes one night stands more interesting if you know what I mean" he replied with a shrug and I shook my head implying that I do not know what he means but I did not see it and therefore did not say anything about it

“Ah, Aren’t you lucky. My weirdest date--she told me she agreed to go on a date so I could hook her up with my brother..” I guffawed. “Brutal.” I paused for a moment. “You have a brother?” He just blinked at me. “Oh my gosh! You should hook me up with him.” I covered my mouth watching as he arched a brow in confusion before laughing. “C’mon” he shrugged off. “That was the funny part--she had poor taste cause I’m the hot one.” I rolled my eyes. “Highly doubt that.” He scoffed. “Then you have poor taste too.”

His place is packed thanks to you guys. Franz Schubert once said, “Happy is a man who finds a true friend and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” Somehow I felt like quoting him when I walked down the street, now I don’t have any intention to get married soon but don’t you think marriage is something special and not everyone is lucky to find the right person and also I believe that there is a right time when the god above and the nature gives us the sign to understand our love when he or she stands in front of us.’ I don’t really believe in the myth that sharing a coffee spill with a stranger starts a love story but let me know your thoughts. Key.

"Dad didn't notice. Or Kendrick. Or Stu." "I said an idiot with half a brain, not empty space." They both snickered. "So you think I should try dating someone else?" "Date. Screw. Whatever you want to call it. And avoid this woman. If you manage to stay away, then chances are it's not the mating fever." "Yeah, staying away is not a likely option given I just sent her husband an awesome quote to do a job. He's sure to accept."

I cooed softly. "Are you guys dating now?" Tony asked as he sat on the arm of the couch next to me. "Yes," I said as I continued to stroke Cookie's fur. "Do you know what grown-ups do when they date?" Tony teased and I blushed. These guys always made fun of me in situations like this. Luis giggled. "A little snog here and there." I mumbled, "If you guys want to make fun of me, could you be straight forward at least?"