Online Dating Funny Quotes

When you, a nerd, get stood up by your ex and wait all night in a bar on New Year's EveThat's when you meet the hottest hockey team captain who asked you to pretend to be his date so he could dump his latest girlfriend.When you're being pestered by your ex to get back together, he shows up and tells your ex to fuck off.Your ex says, I know this is just a deal and you can't possibly like her.He (kisses you in front of everyone): Deal, Like this?

Getting drunk and asking the cute guy at the bar to pose as your fake boyfriend at your sister’s wedding? What could possibly go wrong… Not like he is a famous HOTTER THAN ALL HECK actor who is going to ask you to marry him so that he can get more time in the spotlight now that he is no longer relevant. Surely that won’t happen…

She’s sunshine, glitter, and impulsive chaos. He’s suit-and-tie, headlines, and cold steel control. Together? Absolutely not... right? Jace Whitmore and Lily Thompson have *history*-the kind neither of them talks about, but both remember. She remembers him as the tall, egotistical jerk who kissed her stupid... then told her he wouldn’t touch her with a six-foot pole. RUDE. And infuriatingly unforgettable. He remembers her as the pint-sized menace who’s far too cute for his sanity. Her pout? Weaponized. That glitter obsession? Unbearable. Her... everything? Inexplicably addictive. And while she’s not his type (his type being supermodels with legs for days), his eyes, and maybe something else, never got that memo. He’s the reformed playboy now forced to run his family’s billion-dollar empire. She’s a glitter-wearing, bubble-blowing whirlwind of trouble who wants to get revenge on her ex. He’s the suit-clad face of responsibility. She’s the younger sister of his friend. And exactly no one thinks they should be within ten feet of each other. It started with one forbidden kiss. One very personal grudge… One impulsive decision… And the fear of things becoming real.

Si Ariah "Aya" Gallano ay dalawampu't dalawang taong gulang, iskolar ng kanilang bayan, at tumatayong magulang para sa kaniyang nag-iisang kapatid. Musmos pa lamang ay namulat na siya sa hagupit ng buhay dahil sa mga pagsubok na kaniyang pinagdaanan. Sa kabila nito, nanatili siyang matatag at higit na nahubok ang pagiging madiskarte. Subalit, dahil sa karamdaman ng kaniyang kapatid, kinailangan niyang makahanap ng mabilisang salapi. Siya ay napadpad sa dating application na "We Chat & Date", para humanap ng matandang lalaki na naghahanap ng kasintahan, o sugar daddy kung tawagin. Labag ito sa kaniyang kalooban, subalit kailangan niya ng mabilisang pera para sa pagpapagamot ng kapatid kaya naman isinantabi niya ang sariling prinsipyo para rito. Dito niya nakilala si Theodore Morgan, ang acting CEO ng Morgan Group, dalawampu't pitong taong gulang at ang pinaka batang business tycoon sa Pilipinas. Si Theodore ay napadpad sa dating application sa pag-asang makakahanap ng babaeng papakasalanan lamang bilang tugon sa hiling ng kaniyang lola, ang tanging tao na kumalinga sa kaniya noong mamatay ang mga magulang sa aksidente. Parehong may mithiin na nais makamit, parehong nais isakripisyo ang sariling kasiyahan para sa minamahal sa buhay. Ngunit parehong ayaw mahulog kanino man. Naniniwala silang walang puwang ang pag-ibig sa tulad nilang abala sa sarili at pangarap na nais makamit. Ano kaya ang kapalarang naghihintay para sa dalawang taong nais lang pumasok sa kasal para sa sariling motibo? Sa laro ng kasal-kasalanan, sino ang magiging taya? Kapag tadhana na ang nagpasya, mapipigilan mo ba ito?

“Kiss me, Summer.” I widened my eyes as his lips brushed mine, igniting a fire that threatened to consume me. ‘Had’ he gone crazy? This was all a… stunt. A ruse to make my ex back off. “W-Why?” “Because Alessandro is here,” he leaned closer, his eyes locked on mine while he breathed his words on my face. “And I want him to see that you’re mine… All mine.” * Being the ‘unwanted spinster’ for three years after an awful incident, Summer Foster is being used as a pawn in politics and family feud. When the mafia heir, and fiancé-to-be cheated on her with her cousin, Summer hatched a plan— propose a fake marriage with her childhood rival and business competitor, Maximilian Brampton. What started as a stunt, grew into something uncontrollable and passionate. But— family wars, business disputes, and old secrets are resurfaced. Loyalty and passion are intertwined. Even the incident from three years ago threatened to disrupt everything perfect.

When Sarra Reed flies home for her best friend’s wedding, she expects a reunion filled with laughter, champagne, and nostalgia. Instead, she discovers the groom is none other than the man she thought was still her boyfriend, Ethan. Shattered and betrayed, Sarra’s world tilts again when she collides with her best friend’s older brother, Ronan Vale, Hollywood’s most notorious bad boy, a billionaire actor whose smirk could set the tabloids on fire. He's forbidden and exciting but the past won't stay buried. Her ex, now her best friend’s fiancé, wants her back, refusing to let her go without a fight. Ronan wants her too, but loving him could ruin her oldest friendship and destroy his family ties forever. Two powerful men. One broken heart. In a world of red carpets, glittering scandals, and dark secrets, Sarra must decide whether to protect her best friend or surrender to the forbidden passion threatening to consume her.

"Panji, daripada lo stress mikir nasib setelah di PHK, mendingan kita main aplikasi kencan saja," usul Bowo, salah satu rekan kerjaku. Kami sama-sama tertekan karena baru saja di PHK, akibat perusahaan mengalami gulung tikar. Awalnya aku tak tertarik dengan ajakan Bowo. Tapi setelah dia menunjukkan foto-foto wanita cantik dan seksi di aplikasi booking online itu, hatiku pun tergiur untuk ikut dengannya. Ah, mau coba sebentar juga tak apa-apa. Lagipula istriku Shira juga tak bisa memuaskan aku. Dia sangat kusam, kucel, dan berantakan. Setiap aku pulang kerja, aku selalu disambut dengan penampilannya yang berdaster kumal, rambut diikat sembarangan, dan wajah yang berminyak ditumbuhi jerawat. Penampilannya itu membuat aku sama sekali tak tertarik padanya lagi. Aku pun tertarik untuk membooking satu wanita. Lumayan untuk menemani aku tidur, karena aku juga butuh service yang memuaskan. Dan aku rasa ini cara yang cocok. Toh aku hanya tinggal membayar dan pergi, tanpa menyisakan apapun pada wanita yang menjajakan diri di aplikasi haram itu. Kumulai dengan menscroll aplikasi hijau itu di layar ponselku. Hingga akhirnya aku tertarik pada seorang wanita yang sangat cantik dan seksi bernama Dira. Aku memutuskan untuk membooking nya. Namun, mataku menyipit saat kutatap foto itu dengan seksama. Ada rasa aneh yang merayap dalam hatiku ketika melihat foto wanita bernama Dira itu. "Kenapa foto ini sangat mirip dengan Shira?"

My blind date turns out to be my cheating ex-boyfriend’s boss, billionaire CEO Adrian Cole. When my ex mocks me for being alone, Adrian pulls me close and says, “She’s with me.” What begins as a fake relationship for revenge quickly spirals out of control when Adrian’s secret lover, famous actress Vanessa Hale, returns, and she is determined to destroy me. Now the whole world believes I’m the billionaire’s girlfriend, my ex wants me back, and the man who was supposed to be part of my revenge might become the one person who can break my heart the most.

I arrive in Chicago with two suitcases, a five-year-old, and no room for mistakes. It is supposed to be a fresh start at the Northline Sports Agency, until I am assigned to their most volatile player, Finn Callahan, the hometown star player I walked away from years ago after an ice accident that almost killed him. And Finn doesn't forgive, nor does he forget. With my job on the line, the best player of the Northline Agency and Finn’s charismatic teammate, Jax Mercer, offers me a lifeline. I am to pretend to be his girlfriend to rehab his Playboy rep and fill the stands. Easy, until the act starts to feel real. Until Finn Callahan begins to reel, until the secrets begin to unravel. Until it is realized that the little boy with me has eyes that look unmistakably like a Callahan.

One blind date. Two reluctant hearts. A fake romance that feels way too real… Sienna Blake isn’t looking for love—not after her last relationship left her with more scars than memories. But when her meddling mother sets her up on a blind date, she agrees just to keep the peace. What she doesn’t expect is to come face-to-face with Julian Thorne—her arrogant ex’s boss, a ruthless lawyer with a reputation as cold as the suits he wears. Julian Thorne—high-powered attorney, cold-blooded strategist, and her ex’s dangerously attractive boss. They met once, a year ago, at a company gala. He thought she was a gold digger clinging to her meal ticket. She thought he was an arrogant snob with a god complex. Now he’s her blind date. Julian has his reasons for going along with the charade. Sienna might be the key to taking down a betrayal that nearly cost him everything. All he has to do is play nice, get close, and keep his heart out of it. But the more time they spend pretending, the more real it starts to feel. And when secrets from the past resurface, they’ll have to choose: continue the lie—or risk everything for the truth. From fake to fate—what if the biggest lie becomes their only truth?