Potato Jokes Novels & Stories

really ungrateful people. "Ayyy that's the trick!" I whispered to myself. The trick is, he didn't say anything at first except to her! "What a cheat, that's fair, isn't it," he said flatly, what kind of potato is that? We don't have potatoes! Did he change the subject?! "Okay go ahead and buy me a lot of junk foods." I said while smiling big. "Except for junk foods!" Eh? It's really cheating!! Omoo I almost forgot my cellphone hahah I need to get it.

“Yeah well, my sleeping pattern has been off-balance lately, so it's only natural that my eating habits will change too. And geez, I can't help being hungry all the time.” “I think you should cut back on the food a little. At this rate, you'll end up being the biggest person I know.” He teased, poking her belly. “You're such a dick.” “But you still love this dick.” “Are you serious right now? Tell me, does it look like I’m in the mood for any of your crap?” “Whoa, it was just a joke.” “Don't joke like that. Some jokes that are funny, right? And others that are just not ok. Guess which category yours falls into.”

“Okay, is everyone ready?” Jo stood in front of everyone. “First one is sweet potatoes.” Most of the women nodded, and the guys looked confused. “That’s gross.” Coy groaned. “Who even eats those things?” “Babies.” Jo smirked. “Next one is green beans.” When no one said anything, she continued. “Pears.” “Why is it like yellow?” Landon looked back at number 3’s diaper. “Forth one is peas.” Jo was smiling at him. “Fifth is sweet corn.”

The cashier, a happy looking girl with dyed blue hair and a Zelda t-shirt on, smiles at me as she rings me up. “Watcha makin’?” she asks. “Oh, it’s a pork-loin recipe,” I tell her, happy for the distraction from my own thoughts. “Sweet and spicy with pomme puree.” She nods and smiles but gives me an inquisitive look. “It’s like mashed potatoes,” I tell her. “Just…sounds fancier.” “Oh! I love mashed potatoes!” she laughs. “Not as good as French fries though! But if I eat too many more of them, they’ll be able to roll me down a hill!”

Not even a little bit? I moved back away from him and when I said nothing,he came around to stand beside me again,he held my hand and we continued walking. “I’ve been browsing through a number of jokes this couple of days.I think I’ve become a very funny man.” I suppressed my lips in a tight line.”You don’t say.” “How do you open a banana?”He asked. “You peel it open.”I shrugged. “No.With a mon-key.” I grimaced and when he saw I didn’t get the joke,he rattled out.

“I won’t be able to fit into my clothes if I become fat.” “And they’ll have more stuff to poke fun at.” The girl put on a high-pitched voice to imitate how Jill and Queenie had sounded when they laughed at her. “Look at that country bumpkin! Not only does she look like a nerd, but she’s fat too! She’s just like a potato!” Elijah laughed as he watched her imitate them. The man smiled as he raised a hand to ruffle her hair. “You aren’t a potato.” “You are… a lemon.”

He never said so, but she was his favorite. “Genty,” Aaron said as he dug a small potato out of the ground and tossed it into a basket, “have you ever wondered where potatoes come from?” “They come from America,” Genty replied, with a smile. “Oh,” Aaron said with a shrug. “I thought they came from God.” Genty laughed gently and ruffled his hair. “That, too. They come from God, by way of America, silly boy.” Still not exactly sure how both could be true, Aaron moved to the next potato and wiped his brow on the back of his dirt-covered hand. “Genty, do you ever listen to Ma and Granddad talking, when they think we are still asleep?”

The cat leisurely jumped down from the fridge, actually snatched a potato off the floor, and sauntered calmly out the open back door. Silence. Then Kai said, in all seriousness: “That was the most self-confident cat I’ve ever seen.” Noah slowly closed his eyes. “I was manipulated by vegetables and a baseball bat at three in the morning.” Jonas nodded understandingly. “It happens to the best of us.” Someone started laughing again. Then everyone did. Amidst the potatoes, the exhaustion, and the sheer absurdity. And while the fat potato cat strolled through the night somewhere outside, I suddenly thought:

And I hate it. “It smells amazing,” Carrot’s voice breaks through my reverie. She sits cross-legged on the floor near me, rocking slightly as she sniffs the air with a theatrical sigh. A smile touches my lips but it does not last. Still, Carrot beams anyway, satisfied with even that. My father leans over the pot, squinting. “Potatoes go in last,” he remakrs. “If you put them in too early, they get mushy.” Gimli glances at him sideways. “You say that every time. They still get mushy every time.”

“Don't worry, Arnold. Frederick's bark is worse than his bite. We'll handle him, like we always do. We should send him away for good this time.” Arnold nods, but I can see the worry lingering in his eyes. I decide to change the subject, lighten the mood a bit. “On a brighter note, did you hear about one of the new inventions? A contraption that peels potatoes in half the time! It’s so weird, and I feel like peeling the potatoes.” Arnold chuckles, the tension in the room easing slightly. “I know it’s Simon. Simon and his gadgets. He's a genius, that one.”