Potter Jokes Novels & Stories

“In fact, you can punch it if you want. Or try having a shark metahuman grab you and pin you to the ground.” “Are you trying to sound sexual right now?” Watson, Rachel, Emily and I gave Jack a stone cold look for his inappropriate joke. Watson placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “We admit you’re funny. But right now...it is not the time, bro.” “Right. Right.” Jack nodded, his blonde hair bouncing at the action and he bit his pointer knuckles afterward. “Sorry. I’ll stop talking now.” “Thank you.” I said and turned to Rachel again. “As I was saying-”

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

the time". Fuck, I hate myself...I don't want to talk about this shit! I want to talk about how cows moo and all that fucking shit. I wanted ice cream but the doctor said I wasn't allowed to eat it. How did Dumbledor even grow that long ass beard that's as long as the Mississippi river? Why is there such song as "What does the Fox say?" when obviously, the fox says "meow"?" I cry. Maddox laughs, "What's so funny? Do I look like a clown to you? I'm fucking crying and all you're doing is being an ungrateful husband to me!"

Gimme a joke like- What do you do with dead elements? You Barium! That's a good joke now! No it isn't. Shutup. Two hours of my life were wasted listening to that and when I got home and was asked the questions of my whereabouts, I had to lie to my parents, which made me feel so terrible and now here Mason was, by my locker, not looking like me, who had to suffer those two hours of torture alone with his green eyes and perfectly styled, soft - looking brown hair and- What in the world am I doing?

"Alright, fine. If you won't smile, I'll have to tell you my top-tier jokes. What do you call a fake noodle?" Elena had blinked, her stern frown flickering for a split second. "What?" "An impasta." She had stared at me in absolute, stony silence for three whole seconds. "That is terrible. That is the worst joke I've ever heard." "Okay, okay, tough crowd," I had grinned, my dark eyes sparkling with wicked delight as I stroked her cheek. "Why don't scientists trust atoms?" "Jaxx, please stop…" "Because they make up everything."

Finally, she came back to Beth's question, and replied, "Ah, I do kinda, you know, like this one, but I'm just not sure I have the, ah, you know, balls to wear this one in public." "Mmm, I do. I've got big, round, hairy balls, and I can't wait to have everybody panting over me. Let me have it and you try the white one." Beth exclaimed as Pam began to giggle. Soon, both women were laughing uncontrollably, each trying to outdo the other with ball jokes, but neither quite able to complete a sentence before the marijuana induced fits of giggles would overtake them yet again.

They knew how Lucian got when he was jealous; cross that line, and they'd be dead before they knew it. "Sera-I've got a joke." She raised an eyebrow at the sound of Kidd's voice, a small smile already touching her lips. "What is it?" Kidd cleared his throat and tapped his brother's shoulder. "Listen up-this one's gold." Kieran just clicked his tongue against his teeth. Kidd straightened up, clearing his throat again. "What do you call a pregnant frog?" "What?" "Frog-nant!" He burst out laughing, loud and unhinged enough to fill the whole car.

someone yelled. "I won’t shut up until someone answers!" Lucas shouted back, clearly enjoying the attention. "We don’t know and we don’t care, so shut the hell up, Lucas!" another voice barked. "Wrong! It’s called Lemon-aid! Get it? Like the drink?" The groan this time was even louder. "Dad jokes are never, ever funny," Elodie muttered, shaking her head.

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

I was gasping for air when he spoke up again. "What's the cute ship called?" I raised my eyebrows. My grin couldn't be removed while thinking. "What?" "Cute boat.” We laughed together. His face is really hilarious! Imagine someone as muscular as him throwing nasty jokes. Lol! "There's more!" he said, tasting more. "Oh you have so many pockets..." He smirked. "What does a broom car sound like?" My lips immediately parted. I paused and thought. "Huh? Witch?!" He roared with laughter.