Harry Potter Humour Novels & Stories

"Thank goodness she ran. Who knows what they would have done to her?" "I'm ashamed they even come from our village. Can't we kick people like this out? They're embarrassing all of us." The gossip continued. Harry finally broke free. Swollen-faced like a beaten pig, he glared at me with bloodshot eyes. "It was the tea you made!" No wonder he was the only one among that pack of degenerates who managed to get into a good university. He was smart, but not smart enough. I stared back, cold as ice. "Tell the police that too."

he asked again, grabbing my attention. “What if I win? What will I get from this?” I asked back. He sat back comfortably and looked at me intently as if I amused him. He then shrugged his shoulders “Your call. Do anything you want with me; I don’t really care” he said *** Like what I was saying, these guys presence is enough to make the atmosphere in such a low spirit. I wonder if this was what Harry Potter felt when there were dementors around him? And it sucks to think that my thoughts are a mess right now especially when I am usually the one who can’t be swayed by a mere presence.

“You heard right. Just this morning, she tossed my paintings in the trash can and called them garbage.” Fuck! I shouldn’t have said that. I regret my loose tongue the instant those words leave my mouth. With the amount of whiskey I have coursing through me right now, it’s a miracle I haven’t spilled the passwords to my bank accounts already. I should probably stop drinking so much. Harry’s laughter is full blown now, tears streaming down his face as he tries desperately not to collapse onto the ground in laughter. “Have you had enough?” I ask him seriously, trying to suppress my smirk.

It made her feel extremely small as if her feelings weren't valid. "What's so funny?" Irritation laced her voice thickly, but he never answered; he continued his laughing session with himself as if it was the hilarious thing he had ever heard. At this point, Harlow was highly tempted to grab her shoe and throw it at him until he stopped laughing all of a sudden. A seriousness overwhelmed his humourous side that lingered on his face for a good couple of seconds.

Harry yelled. “ Don't be foolish you ninnyhammer! You think you can win over me or par with me? Hell no ,Harry! You know how low your IQ is right? I am smarter than you” Maya mocked. .Harry’s thatrum grew and he slammed the wine glass on the floor. Maya galred at Harry's eye realizing it was blood- red. If there was one thing Harry is hated the most, it would be for him being constantly remained low is IQ is.

His dark eyes were twinkling with amusement. “What kind of stupid movies do you watch, Harry?” I asked, cringing at his use of that stupid line. I had heard it in a thousand romantic comedies and teen movies. “That's such a cliché line. You should be ashamed of yourself for using it. You’re too old not to come up with something original.” “But it works,” He winked at me then signaled to a waitress. “Maybe, but in my case it doesn’t.” I said, as if I believed it. His compliments, however ridiculous always made me feel something.

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

Harry put on a pitiful expression which led to a bout of laughter. Mira quirked her eyebrows pursing her lips lopsidedly as she shifted her gaze between her father and god father. Jack stood back with an amused smile; It was fun to see his fathers-in-law squirming like teenage boys. He didn’t forget to make a note to himself ‘never to offend his wife…hehe…... hehe …. his wife was too powerful.’ “I guess we better get going or we will be late.” Harry could only sheepishly grin as he turned to hurry John and Matthew “Hurry up or we’ll….” He muttered “be betrayed by these old women before we can even say ‘beep’.”

" Would you even be standing here if I had blown up the house?" He crossed his arms over his chest, a smug tugging at one side of his lips. " Yeah right, all thanks to Merlin who showed up to fix everything with just a simple magic trick," I playfully winked at him then moved my gaze to mom whose mouth was agape. " With the second help of my beloved friend, Harry Potter,”

The pressure began to lift just a little. Peter seized the moment to add, “My dear Dr. Cairn, please patch up your own heart.” He deliberately responded to Harry with a straight face emoji, nearly making me laugh out loud in front of the screen. Peter's sense of humor had a remarkable way of bringing us a touch of relief during the most tense moments.