Seharusnya Aku Mati Novels & Stories

“Nikita, please just tell us what’s going on.” My heart pounded against my ribcage, a desperate drum trying to keep time against the tide of chaos threatening to overtake me. I took a breath, steadying the tremor in my hands, and when I spoke, the words felt like stones sinking into the abyss. “As you all know, I died...” I forced myself to continue. “...But when I did, I saw my mother. She told me the only way I could truly die was by the hand of my curse. It has to run its course.”

Maybe it’s better I just die and stop being a fucking burden to everyone. Afterall, I don’t matter anymore.

The kind that said: You might actually die here.

I hear them say to each other in unison and I die a thousand times over. I've just lost my mate

“It means… it means that if we try to force that door open…” The red light blinked again. “…Matteo dies instantly

Someone who might not fail a second time. My phone buzzed with a text from an unknown number. I opened it with trembling fingers. The message was short. Just four words that made my blood turn to ice. "You should have died.”

I fainted, hoping that death would come soon and end my misery. Oh, karma is such a bitch!

I sank back into the bed, more tears snaking down my face. Nobody came to see me. I was so glad for it. I could finally be in this small little world where I wasn’t constantly disturbed. I needed time. Although time felt like an enemy right now, it was all that would help me recover even a little. But no. What was I saying? There was no recovering for me. I might as well die too. That was what I wanted to do. Maybe that was what I was going to do. Once the idea was cemented in my mind, it made perfect sense. Why did I have to struggle to live? I should have died with my mate. Surviving was a stupid mistake of the universe, like my whole life was. Ending it would make things right.

"Kill me, kill me! In my current state, can I still be alive? In my current state, I am already dead! Living like this is better than dying! Someone, come and kill me! Living like this, I really don't want it, I really want to die. Please, someone, come and kill me, kill me!" "I was wrong, I was really wrong! Please kill me! I shouldn't have provoked you, I really shouldn't have... If I can do it all over again, I would rather not have offended you. So, please grant me death! I don't want anything but death, that's all!"

"Okay, I believed you. But what should I do now???" [What do you mean what you should do?] "I don't want to be the reason for destruction. Should I just kill myself so that I could save more lives?? But I don't want to die at all. I want to live a long life. I want to be happy too. Do I really deserve to die???"