Seriously Funny Jokes Novels & Stories

Constant head splitting headaches, random joint pains,. dizziness and lightheadedness. it was symptoms I know just too well. The blue rose illness. The vile disease that robbed me of my mother. And now I think it's coming for my life too. My name is Ivy and I have the blue rose illness. Funny right? I can't believe I have less than thirty days to live. ************ Prince Emiliano "You are sick? Since when?" "I am sorry." "Keep that for later—I will never give you the permission to leave me. You can never leave me. Do you understand Ivy? Don't you dare."

“Seriously, you think someone like me would ever be interested in you?” he laughed. _________________________________________ Elena Roswell, scarred by past heartbreak after being humiliated by billionaire CEO Jordan Storm, takes a job as his personal assistant with a hidden agenda: to ruin his life and career. Jordan Storm, billionaire CEO of Storm Corp. Enterprise. Known for his playboy personality, Jordan has no interest in love whatsoever. However, when Jordan's father pressures him to present him with a bride to fully secure his position as the heir of the family business, he offers a proposal to his personal assistant, Elena Roswell. Caught in between love and revenge, Elena must decide: will she follow her heart or will she stay true to her original agenda?

EMILIANA                  It was supposed to be a simple wedding. Marry the old fucker then while he's busy trying to get in my pants, stick a knife in his throat. And if anyone asks... I'm pretty sure I would have come up with something believable. I mean, how hard is it for someone his age to have a heart attack or trip and fall onto a knife. Right? But then in the middle of the wedding, this hot guy shows up in a bloody Armani suit, like covered in blood from head to toe, kills the man I'm supposed to marry and takes his place. What the fuck? Seriously, What the actual fuck? TROPES; Arranged marriage, forced proximity, he falls first, crazy FL, your daily amount of steam and HEA.

Trace a.k.a The Orgy King. The Panty Ripper. His sworn brother called him funny names but he knows what he is. A spawn by Satan. Born to be his father's trouble. He fuck around like a rabbit. Party here and there. But his fave sport will always involve dark and bad. A walking sin. Trace will soon realize that karma really is a bitch*. Organization. Friendship. Brotherhood. Trace Dimagiba might be the most hateful man in FOEDUS CORP., but he’ll soon realize that even the devil himself deserves redemption. In the form of the feisty and beautiful woman who sauntered into his life– Chloe. His light and his end game.

Synopsis - On the night when the young warrior Raen is born, strange things happen in the Free East: A prince dies and the great oracle of Tulga sends a mysterious prophecy. A long journey begins. Will the young Raen manage to take the fate of his people in hand against the dark power of the priests and councilors? Raen's journey takes him to the legendary city of Borgossa, where he is to be trained at the War Academy. There he meets the funny Manoen, a compatriot, and they become friends. But Manoen also keeps a dark secret. When Raen finds out, the terrible machinations of the priests of his country are revealed to him. Together with his friend he returns to Hy to overthrow the priestly caste. War is inevitable.

After I confessed to my childhood crush, he smirked and said, "If you can get that loser to drink from the same bottle you did, I'll date you." Seriously? Was I really reborn fifteen years ago? I raced over to Noah—top of the class and hot as hell—and dropped the water bottle on his desk in front of everyone. He clocked the lipstick stain, face turning crimson. Future business mogul? Right now, he looked like some poor kid waiting to get crushed. I nudged the bottle closer. "Using that genius brain to collect bottles for cash? Kinda tragic. Be my private tutor instead." He might be broke, but lucky for him, I've got money to burn.

First thing Leah Labelle did after Andrew Fillion's funeral? Ask her husband Ian for a divorce. Why? Because Ian's entire family thought the perfect way to honor his dead brother was to knock up the widow. Naturally. "My parents are threatening to hang themselves or starve, Leah. What was I supposed to do? It's just IVF with Cecilia—we're not even doing anything. Why are you making this a divorce thing?" Leah shut her eyes. Her chest cracked open, and the tears she'd been holding finally broke free. "Ian, we're MARRIED. You seriously don't think this is next-level insane?" Her husband was about to have a baby with someone else. But sure—she was the crazy one.

When the flood came, my father, who was the captain of the rescue team, immediately rescued my cousin and cut my rescue rope. "Vivian can't swim, and there's not enough space on the helicopter. You won't die even if we rescue you a little later." I was rushed to the hospital while hanging onto a thread, but my mother, who was a doctor, gave the last bag of rare blood to my cousin, who was not even seriously injured. I begged with a weak voice, but my mother pried my fingers apart and said, "Your cousin is anemic and has always been in poor health. Must you fight for attention at such a time?" My parents had no idea that I stopped breathing when they abandoned me.

It’s all fun and games until a body washes up…. Beth Monroe just wants to make it through the summer baseball season without being the constant target of her brother Shane’s jokes, but he is relentless, and she’s ready to lock herself in her room and hide. Until the new girl shows up. Halley appears in small town Barryville like a ghost. No one knows where she came from or anything about her past, not even her last name. When she gives Beth a piece of unsolicited advice that, “It’s what’s on the outside that counts,” Beth changes everything about herself. By the time Beth realizes she’s becoming a monster, it might be too late, and Halley has already sunk her claws into Beth’s best friend Ryan—who might’ve been something more if Beth had opened her eyes a little earlier. As Halley’s past catches up to her, Beth realizes there’s more to this mysterious girl than she realized. Can she stop Halley from revealing her true, monstrous nature to Ryan before it’s too late?

During a public lecture on derivatives, I hurl my water bottle hard at the blackboard. Under the stunned gazes of the professor and my classmates, I stand up and say, "Seriously? Is there a need to explain a problem this simple? Move on to the next one. How did you bunch of idiots get into the accelerated program? How are you even worthy of sitting in the same classroom as me?" I turn my head and see my mother, who is standing outside the classroom to accompany me as I attend the lecture. She has a pleased and approving look on her face. A reporter sitting in the back quickly points the camera at me. I smile and call out toward the door, "Mom, I need to pee. Come take me to the restroom."