Seriously Funny Jokes

"Remember the most important rule, don't get caught." *** I try to keep my expression neutral and give nothing away in my eyes, Eli is a smart man, smarter than he lets on and will know if something is different about me, "Everyone change, Eli, you definitely aren't the man you were when we first met, but the question is if the change is for the better or the worse." His hand reaches over the table and take mine in the gloves and though there is a barrier between our hands his touch is felt and the reaction sent to the rest of my body. "I love you, Anna and that's not going to change, but I have to admit that I like this side of you more. However, I am contented with whatever I get as long as I get to have you." These words are the words any woman wants to hear their man tell them and it is almost perfect to my ears... almost because I am not Anna...

"What about her?" Andre asked."Who?" I asked he motioned to a group of women specifically the one sitting down, I couldnt really see her because of the dim lights and the group of friends she had around her."No,""Why not?" Jason asked I took another sip before saying."She is sitting with her friends,""And?" Andre asked."Her friends are drunk,""And?" Jason asked confused."She is the only one with a beer and look at how she continuously checks her phone every five second,""And?""The beer isn't strong which means she is the designated driver her friends are drunk which means she has to leave soon, and the phone just shows that she would rather be anywhere but here, like she has much more important things to do. Which let's me know she probably won't give me the time of day because I'm not the most important thing in her life right now,""She is the one, she is the one you got to date"

Two opposite sides of the coin. That's how you can describe Ken Smith and Daniella Sparks. Yet how come they manage to find their ways to each others heart? No science can explain this for Ken. She made a preposition. "Just say I hate you and I'll leave you alone forever. But can you?"

While I was nine months pregnant, the apple of my husband’s eye moved into our house. Whenever she saw me, she would make a sad face. My husband was sure that I was flaunting my pregnancy to make her angry. “Rachel is frail, and she can’t get pregnant, yet you’re walking around making her upset?! Do I seriously have to teach you a lesson?!” He ordered the bodyguards to lock me in the attic that had not been in use for a long time and told them not to give me food. I pleaded for mercy and told him that the ultrasound scan showed that the twin babies were too big. I told him that the doctor had claimed that I had to be hospitalized while I waited for my delivery. But he laughed as if he had heard the world’s greatest joke. When he spoke, his voice was as cold as ice. “You’re still three days away from your delivery date! Enough with the pitiful act! Repent while you’re in the attic! This is what you get for making Rachel upset!” The contractions hurt so much that I clenched my fists to the point that my nails broke, but no one unlocked the door to the attic. My piercing screams echoed in the attic for a long time until my whole body was soaked in blood, and one of my babies was stuck between my bloody legs. Three days later, my husband ate his breakfast that was not up to his taste and said, “Have Jane make breakfast for me, then have her apologize to Rachel with a gift. If she’s sincere enough, I’ll send her to the hospital to deliver the babies.” But no one dared go up to the attic because the blood that flowed down from it had already reached the second step of the stairs.

Ever since she could remember, Maya Connors has always been the smart, shy girl that sat at the back of the classroom. She tackled every task with a boundless zest, except when it came to boys and relationships. Being eighteen and never once had a boyfriend, she was adamant that it would stay the same until she graduated. But sometimes, you have to expect the unexpected - such as falling for Ethan Morrison, a boy who was way too handsome and way too out of her league. Despite coming from very different social circles, a school trip to Europe was all it took as to her dismay, she found him incredibly charming. But when Maya ventures out of her shell and falls too deep, she realizes that it's too late to go back. With her heart laying on the line, she's about to face a whirlwind of emotions, drama, and secrets.

“It's only , nothing else,” David whispered huskily as he walked around the desk and came to stand in front of her. “I don't want love, this marriage is only beneficial to both of us…nothing else,” she was clear with her intentions, and falling in love was out of the question. “I want to pleasure you, to make love to you every night…no strings attached,” he whispered as he cupped her face, this was dangerous. A man like David wasn't one to take lightly. . After a failed marriage and a successful divorce from a man she thought loved her. Samantha Morgan decided to live for herself while guarding her heart against falling in love again. However, her plans didn't go as expected when she lost her and her twin brother Charlie intervened in finding her a good at the company he worked at. Samantha's life turned upside down when she was tricked into an unknown marriage. A man who only knew how to chase skirts, a heartthrob with looks which pulled her in the first time she saw him and made her yearn for something forbidden. David Williams had no intentions of marrying or getting tied to a woman until the day he needed a wife to keep his Brother's fortune. It was only a deal of contract marriage, no strings attached. Only a deal to have with no emotions. But when hearts melt, passion ignites and feelings flow. The only way is to give in to the scalding pleasure, more irresistible than anything Sammy and Dave had ever felt. But when an ex-husband with determination shows up, true love is questioned.

I'm about to get married under the witness of the Goddess of the Moon. However, Carl Erickson, my partner of ten years, doesn't know it yet. Carl has recently hired a new assistant—Ivy Keating. Everyone in the wolf pack knows something amorous is going on between them; they frequently "discuss work" until the wee hours of the night. A celebration that's supposed to be for our anniversary turns into Ivy's birthday celebration. Carl orders a ten-layer mango cream cake for the celebration—it's Ivy's favorite. They get cream everywhere, but they've forgotten I'm seriously allergic to mangoes. A regular mango is as lethal to me as wolf venom is. I'm taken away by an ambulance to be rescued, and I'm alone when I wake up. Carl is still at the party, celebrating Ivy's birthday. My wolf growls unhappily, and my love for Carl dies. It's then that I agree to the marriage my family has arranged for me. I'm going to marry a true Alpha.

A CHRISTMAS STEAMY LOVE STORY... Alone at Christmas time is not an amazing thing! But for newly divorced Starlight Maxwell is the best thing that happened to her lately… Back in Smithville, her hometown, she is trying to move on with her life. At least this was her plan initially… She’s shocked to discover her ex-husband has rented out her childhood home to the person Starlight swore not to see ever again: Elijah Thomas, her high school sweetheart… all grown-up and absolutely gorgeous. Apparently, Starlight’s libido doesn’t care that Elijah shattered her heart eight years ago... With the holidays looming and his presence in her house driving her wild, Starlight strikes a bargain with him: twelve days of no-strings sex. Just so she can get him out of her system. But when the twelve red-hot days of Christmas are over, Starlight isn’t sure she can say goodbye to Elijah…

Amelia was leading a perfect life, She loved her life, her friends everything. But what she hated the most were boys. Especially boys who like to play with girls. She hasn't had any good reason to trust them. Whenever she loved someone it was always for some ulterior motive. What happens when she bumps into School's new boy, Damien? Icy blue eyes are his signature. A boy who is cocky, sweet, caring but at the same time mysterious in his own ways. Will Damien prove her wrong and fall in love along with her? Or does he have his own motives behind his actions. To add onto Amelia's turmoil of a life, what will happen when the boy who broke her heart a few years back returns to claim her back? What would have happened between the two? Peek in to know ~~

Sarah Watsons had to struggle to win the favor of her childhood friend who has now become her husband. Even though they have lived together, whatever power Richie Dalton loves only one person, Alex Tanner. Annoying man who lives with them. Can Sarah get through all this? or give up on fate that Rich