Severus Snape Funny Novels & Stories

“I was drunk, and you took advantage of me. How could you do that to a young—” “You’re not that young,” he interrupted me. “I am!” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. “Compared to you—” “Do you even know how old I am?” “N-no.” My eyes shot up to his hair. “But judging by all those grey hairs, you’re well over fifty!” Severide stared at me silently for a few seconds before he burst out laughing. It was a deep belly laugh I hadn’t expected from him. I mean, seriously, I just insulted the man, and he was laughing at me like it was the funniest thing on earth.

"In short words? Slytheryn and Gryffindor are always at each other's necks, Ravenclaw is 'too smart' to mix, Hufflepuff sticks to themselves. At least it was like that 20 year ago." The other Aurors agree with the Director. *sigh* "I think we will see an increase in inter-houses interactions from now on." Erik said after a sigh. He walks to the male dormitory's stairs and calls back. "Let's get going. We have multiple results here, Professor Snape, Aurors. Unspeakables, if you guys can lend us a hand to speed up the process." Erik climbs the stairs with the group, walks through the corridor and stops by a door with a plaque that reads '2nd Year' on it, waiting for the rest of the group to ar

“It was less hilarious when I had to reassure my staff that no, we hadn’t been infiltrated by a burglar and his overly enthusiastic elf apprentice.” Luca, completely unbothered by the comparison, let out an unholy combination of a snort and chuckle —what I’ve since dubbed a snortle—at the idea of being called an elf. Naturally, he then had the audacity to grab my tea, take a dramatic gulp, and recoil as if I’d just offered him liquid despair. His face twisted in such disgust you’d think I’d poisoned him. “It’s bitter,” he croaked, eyeing the mug as though it had personally offended him.

” Smiling with triumph over my disappointment, he breezes through the door, leaving me all puzzled. "What—‘’ I watch after him with a baffled look. "What did he just say?" I burst into a ridiculous laugher, feeling my cheeks all hot and burning. Is he playing with me? Testing my crazed feelings? Why is he doing this? I huff, completely defeated. Why is it exciting, though, despite the odds? I laugh again, stupidly. However, when Dr. Snape's last words repeat in my head I quickly wipe off my laughter.

I wasn't welcomed in their midst. "Bloody hell!" I rose up and banged the table. It's been there a while now, this anger, escaping when I always feel cheated on or dared in an unfriendly manner. I was angry at the guard guiding the entrance, at the maid that prepared the snack and tea on the table, heck, I was even angry when my tea wasn't quite at the right temperature. But the truth was, my life needed changing for the better, because there was more going into this brain and body than I could handle and still be me. So, even if it's not okay with them, I was going to start working on my real purpose. I had even completely forgotten she was present with us till I saw her oval rounded face a

SERAPHINA The sound of Severin’s chuckles both sounded equally amusing and annoying to my ears. I’ve never had someone sound so amused with my sarcasm and attitude; mostly, they’re not pleased with it. I don’t really care, but this guy... It’s like it’s his first time laughing in his life, so much so that it’s almost too innocent, too child-like, and pure. “I’m not your personal clown. Stop laughing.” I ordered after a moment. He’s enjoying it way too much.

He catches me watching him, and knows why I'm wearing a shocked expression. "I-it's just...stupid," He then says. "Change of words from your sudden crafty ones a while ago." "Yeah, well. I'm usually a smart cookie when I'm high as fuck." I tuck in my lips to hide the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, though Sebastian already catches it and my attempt to hide it; I don't want him seeing me respond to his negative comments, but that one in particular, I found funny, to be completely honest. Even though he's a dumbass who doesn't take anything seriously, he has a sense of humor going for him.