Sex Joke Novels & Stories

Sarah responded, evidently intrigued. Frustration welled within me as Sarah seemed oblivious to the lure of the strippers. Another woman with the same accent elaborated, "Indeed! My husband, bless his soul, is weirdo, and has a small dick! In our job, sex is different. You'll feel different kinds of dick—small dick, big dick, ordinary dick, a dick that didn't sleep, a macho dick—every kind!" I was utterly dumbfounded. I never imagined women discussing such intimate matters so openly, and what on earth did she mean by "dick that didn't sleep"?

she sulked. "Then, it's a no" he triumphantly smiles at her while Jason was shaking his head. "I didn't know you are this crazy, Lexie" Jason was amused. "I was just curious. Is it the same with a man and woman?" she persisted but Dom was not scandalized. "Yes, it's just the same. Except it's in the ass" he even explains. "Is it good? What I mean, inside the ass?" she curiously asks. "It is, especially if your pleasure bud inside is hit" Jason was the one who replies.

He smiles smugly. "Of course I want to know. Spill, Monroe." "Call a puckbunny over and... have sex. If I'm lucky it'll be a threesome and..." "Shut up!" I snap, placing both palms over my ears. My cheeks are tinted pink and they are hot. I glare at Jason as he laughs. What is wrong with him? Who talks about sex so openly without any shame? "You asked..." "Since you do not have a hobby, we'll just go with mine until you make a decision."

he said, looking at the wall in front of him. "You mean to tell me that you haven’t had any women? Not even the one staring intently at you right now?" I said pointing at a blonde staring down the hall. Axel turned and looked at her, "That? That’s nobody, just hobbies." "I could say the same, or I can’t and you can?" I asked with a raised eyebrow "That would be sexism". "I would never dare," he said, laughing. I laughed with him too, feeling my heart galloping through my chest while he and I were locked in our bubble.

His voice dipped. “Why the mood?” I teased. “Because having your sweet walls clench me raw is divine. It’s a bliss I want forever.” he whispered, nibbling my ears. Heat rushed beneath my cheeks and between my legs again. Just his words had me wet. “I know, right? I enjoyed it too,” I drawled. “So… get a vasectomy.” I joked. “Okay,” he shrugged, eyes on the ceiling. “Okay?” I blinked. Shocked. Most men wouldn’t even joke about that.

I spoke abruptly. "Aww! My baby wants to fuck". Corey made fun of me . "Stop..... Are you going to have sex with me or not". I jabbed his playfully jabbed his shoulder and laughed.. Corey placed his hand on his face and was thinking. He wasn't actually thinking but intentionally wanting me to beg.. "Stop... Infact forget it". I turned my head elsewhere, only to get whiskered back to the gaze of my husband.. "Why are you getting upset, of cause I will have sex with you, do I also cum inside of you" he makes another unruly joke..

Where a male mind seeks out negative or taboo experiences for the sake of exhilarating, yet safe, arousal. “So … does that trick actually work?” I ask curiously. Both of them exchange a look. Then they grin. The kind of grin that screams immature male stupidity. “That’s hardcore,” Alejandro says, shaking his head. “Never had to use it. I can still control my dick.” Jackson snorts but doesn’t add anything. Which is suspiciously weird. Jackson not making a sarcastic comment about dicks? Maybe it’s another secret skill they teach at BEAST Academy. Right next to ‘How To Look Stoic While Internally Panicking’ and ‘Advanced Techniques for Working on Women’s Nerves’.

She said laughing hysterically. " Okay fine! Let's say I did have a sex dream, why would you assume it was Ray-khan?" " Because I was over here talking to Terry but I couldn't concentrate with you saying, ' Oh...don't stop Ray-khan. Please don't-" Before she could finish, I threw a pillow at her and she giggled while I tried to cover my cheeks which must've been so red with embarrassment. " Oh come on Seana, it's just a joke. We all have sex dreams or we've had sex dreams. It's totally normal... especially when it's about your very hot and sexy mate." She said, sitting beside me.

She felt heat rise to her face. “Honey, normal is boring! Intense sex is the good shit. Some guys fumble. Some guys are selfish. Some guys think p**n is a documentary. Dean sounds like he delivered a masterclass. Welcome to the world competent fucking, my darling. It only gets better from here. You learn what you like, what you think drives him wild…" She waggled her eyebrows at her friend. Wren smiled. “Did he…?” Grace made a circling motion with her finger.

he stated angrily. "Then what am I going to do if I crave sex and you are not around in the house to satisfy me? Tell me what to do?" Sherry cried in despair. She wants to make him feel guilty for abandoning her. "For God's sake, buy a sex toy online! Learn to pleasure yourself. Just avoid having sex with strangers or else you will get a STD or HIV, or meet a rapist or psycho and you will end up dead in some abandoned building with your body cut into pieces!" Axel said, trying to scare his wife from doing any of those things. He can't accept the thought of another guy touching his wife's body intimately. It repulsed him!