Sexual Jokes

She is just a good girl trying to impress her parents. He is a bad boy who only joined this website so he could get a couple of bucks. He has tattoos, a bad attitude, smokes, has no care in the world and has a horrible past back in England. He can't stand her because she is a little spoiled brat who listens to everything her parents tell her. She can't stand him because of his mockery and stupid sarcastic comments. It's hard to hate someone who has a panty dropping smile, someone who awakes all your sexual desires, someone who changes you into the best version of yourself. Live your life like everyday is the last and one day you will be right. Previously Known as Rent a Christian boyfriend.

*Hollis Bogard isn’t known for her commitment. In fact, she’s content leading a single, flirtatious life. That might change after meeting Whitney York, a free spirited artist thirsting for adventure.Having been cursed out, chased, and scorned by every broken hearted woman twenty eight year old heroin addict Hollis Bogard has slept around with, she’s not fazed at all by any of it. Always preferring to look for the next best set of kissable lips. Life as an emotionally unavailable bachelorette has served her well, and after all...everyone was warned before anything happened. Feelings were a big no. Hollis had seen what love did to her parents, and wanted nothing to do with the white picket-fenced lie. So long as her bed was warm when she needed it to be, that’s what mattered.Californian Whitney York is ready for a new start. While spontaneity wasn’t a strong suit of her’s, packing up everything she owned into her little black 2008 Toyota Prius and driving cross country to Auburn, Maine was the best idea she’d had all year. No more nagging mother, to hell with her father always comparing Whitney to her successful sister, Theresa. The one with the prestigious acting career, doting husband, and two all American poster children. She wanted to be free to figure out her own destiny. When elusive Hollis bumps into electrifying Whitney at a local bar on the outskirts of town, sparks fly between the unlikely pair.Disclaimer: Strong sexual content, graphic sex scenes, drug usage. 18+, please. This novel won’t be for you if you’re not comfortable with any of the above topics.2019 All Rights Reserved (you know how it goes) Please don’t attempt to steal any part of my work.

"I'm Aiden Hart's secretary!" I shrieked over the phone. "Calm down, Charlie. It can't be that bad." I heard amusement in Emily's voice. My roommate's attitude did nothing to soothe my nerves. "It's not bad; it's a disaster!" I convinced. "I can't work for someone as hot as him! I can't breathe around him!" I might have been on the verge of a panic attack. I was supposed to work for his father, the well-respected sixty-eight-year-old Alexander Hart, not his youngest son! This wasn't what I agreed to! Less than a month ago, my dear friend died while working at Hart Global Corporation as the CEO's secretary. Now, I was about to replace her while investigating the truth behind her death. I thought I was prepared to enter the snake's nest, but I clearly underestimated the enemy… Aiden Hart was the purest embodiment of my sexual fantasies, and believe me, after four sexless years, I had more than too many of them twirling inside my brain. Every day, I found my boss more and more alluring, and I could only protect my weak heart by repeating my newly created mantra... "Don't fall for Mr. Hart... Don't fall for Mr. Hart... Don't fall for Mr. Hart."

Lexi Gabriel Ricardo, 30 years old, who is a handsome widower. . He was suffering from Sexual Aversion Disorder, which is a disorder in which the loss of sexual desire towards the opposite sex. It happened to Lexi because of a bad memory in his past, in which this man lost his wife at night after their wedding. . Jessica, an 18-year-old girl, had bothered his mind. His body reacted differently, when it accidentally came in touch with this girl. Lexi needed to find out who that girl is, get to see her again. He wanted to make love to that girl who made his lust come up again. . Wishing to spend a beautiful night with a girl after 5 years he passed his lonely nights in a cold bed.

"Suck my nipples now! Disobey me and face the consequences!" Mr. Evidence, known as the condom CEO ordered as Rose ran out of words. She knew she was indeed helpless. "Even on his sick bed, he still wants to satisfy his sexual urge? Gosh!" Said David as he shook his head in disbelief. The name of the man on the sick bed was Mr. Evidence. A young billionaire of 25 years of age whose identity was popularly known to be called the condom CEO. He own a huge condom company which favoured only women in the terms of job opportunities. He had the opportunity to live the kind of lifestyle he ever wanted but something happened!!!

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"It's hot because, it's Forbidden" Cassandra is in a sexual relationship with her five adopted step brothers. There was only one rule: No strings attached. But slowly, all of them were breaking the one and only rule and find themselves falling for Cassandra. And she for them. But she's chosen her life partner. He was one amongst the brothers. However, not every story has a good ending. Someone plans a murder on Cassandra, because she stole her boyfriend. When the car accident takes place, Cassandra wasn't the only one who died. Born again in 2057, Cassandra and her lover find something very disturbing about his reborn family. That their ancestors were the Johnson siblings. Love was so incomplete, that they had taken two cycles of rebirth to meet each other again. The Forbidden Reverse Harem [Thrilling and exciting with steamy chapters between the lovers and preceeding reverse harem. Read to find out more about Cassandra FORBIDDEN reverse harem!]

"Exploring Ari: Ariana Stephanopoulos has led a fairly quiet life—especially for a vampire—until she meets charming werewolf Jackson Marceski. The instant attraction between them is hotter than anything she’s ever experienced, so when Jack offers to fulfill her sexual fantasies, she can’t tell him no. Dani’s Demons: Bored with her life in Chicago, vampire Dani DuBois heads to Las Vegas for a little fun. Then she meets demons Kaz Elgin and Ty Cole. They decide to take care of Dani—together. Just For Jess: Vampire Jessamy Maitland is a classic workaholic, until her friends team up to buy her a weekend with the incredibly sexy vampire Dermott McMahon on his luxurious private island. Sporting Wood: What happens when a werewolf and a dryad meet in the forest at night? For Cooper and Kyla, the result is smoldering hot passion beyond anything they’ve ever known. Immortal Cravings is created by Cindy Spencer Pape, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author."

Red alert: This book is going to be full of erotic content. High sexual content, use of vulgar words and foul language. Thanks for the support of those that chose to proceed. “I know you are a werewolf and I know why you are here, but be rest assured I will never accept you as my fated mate and Luna queen. I, Newton Ashton Montgomery, hereby reject you as my fated mate.” “No, I will never accept your rejection, King!” Gwendolyn Hills grew up having everything she always wanted in life. Right from when she was a pup, she merely had to snap her fingers and get whatever it is. Every girl either wanted to be her or be her friend. The one thing she always looked forward to was her eighteenth birthday when she will shift to her wolf and become mated to her childhood crush and best friend, Julian, the incoming Alpha. Then on that very day, not only was she unable to transform, her once-perfect life fell apart before her eyes. In the snap of a finger, she became nothing but the pack’s new freak. When she had an encounter with the cold-hearted King of Lycan’s, her life further plunged deeper into a bottomless pit and this time, plunged with her heart. How is she going to fix the missing puzzles of her life, mend her broken heart and find true happiness in the midst of trying to find herself? Let's journey together to find out.

What do you do when you meet the one person that makes you feel alive, but at the same time kills you deep down inside? Would you stay or run away? For as long as Leia can remember, she had always felt different compared to everyone else. She remembers the exact day her life had changed for the worse — the day she shifted for the first time and lost control of her wolf, only to wake with her mother’s blood on her. Horrified, her own father sells her to another Pack. She had no idea in this Pack, she would meet somebody who could get deep inside her and look her darkness straight into its eyes. Alpha Viktor has only ever known death ever since he killed his own parents on his first shift. Known as the Dark Alpha, he was feared by everyone, making him lonely. Until her. But when Leia realizes she doesn’t like what the darkness in her does, she runs away from Viktor. Only to find out that it might be too late as she is pregnant with his heir. Will she ever be truly free or is she destined to live a fearful life with the Dark Alpha? What happens when she finds herself in another Pack and the Beta turns out to be her destined mate? Leia must decide whether or not she should choose the darkness or the light. Rated 18+ for explicit content (sexual, violent, and dark themes present). Book 2 of His Heir Series, but can be read as a standalone. :) Book 1 is Banished With His Heir.