Simon Rich The Last Girlfriend On Earth Novels & Stories

"You're far too presumptuous, Simon. He would never abandon me to comfort another woman when I needed him most. He would never shield someone else while putting the blame on me. He would always put me first. Can you do any of that?" My words vanquished all hope Simon had and gave him a wake-up call. He knew that no matter what he said now, it was already too late. I had no obligation to wait for him forever. Helplessly, Simon started, "I…" However, Zachariah cut him off, "Mister, stop harassing my girlfriend in public like I don't exist." Simon froze for two seconds before snarling in a trembling voice, "Who do you think you are? Kaylee is my mate!"

Other than me, who would even want her? The comment section exploded. [Claire only mentioned you a few times on her stream, and you fall in love? Your fiancée is really pitiful.] [Break your engagement off already. Let that woman go. Go find your true love and lock yourselves together—I'll swallow the key!] Simon must have been furious at the backlash. He immediately posted a screenshot of title deeds—with parts blurred out. [Easy for you to say. My girlfriend's family owns three properties in the city center alone. Only an idiot would call off this engagement.]

It’s pretty obvious Simon came here as Eve isn’t the type to chase anyone. “Oh…. about that… Seems our horny little man likes sex a lot, and I got him thinking I might be fun…. So yeah, he showed up last night right after he left you. He’s not a virgin by the way… well, obviously. What I mean is… he wasn't before last night either. It seems our boy has been honing his skills on femmes all along. He’s been keeping it hush-hush. He is a much better lay than I expected…. He made me come four times. We’ve barely slept.” Eve walks past me, semi-naked, given her open robe, and casually wanders to the corner to pick up a hair brush and run it through her head while Simon scrambles for clothes. Her

It should have been unnerving how sharp and calculating he was, but instead I found myself flushed with heat, thinking how terrifyingly smart he could be and how impossibly attractive that made him. Later that evening, Richard laid out two sets of keys on the war table. One ring gleamed with new polish. The other looked identical but lighter, edges dulled. “Replicas,” he said. “The real master keys are with Simon now, locked under guard. These will stay in circulation so anyone reaching for them will tip their hand.” “You’re trusting Simon now?” I asked. “I trust that he's loyal and boring,” Richard answered. “And boring is what I need.”

Cliché and then it gets more than that. Simon lives to the side of. His chest showing from the unbottoned part of his polo shirt. He loves wearing polo shirt a lot. I like it on him. He looks young, free and youngly attractive. Especially when he smiles. It adds more life to him. I wonder if someone else have seen him the same way I do. I wonder how many girls he had stolen attention from. I wonder if he ever thought of me more than just a friend before. I know he loved me but has it ever been more than just friendship?

The Somerset Inn was a 15-minute walk from the pier. The day was grey, the night was starting to come alive by the lights. But The Somerset Inn was dim and looked rather sleazy from the outside. Richard folded his arms and stared at the flickering neon sign. “Why do I get the feeling that I won’t be getting your number or even your last name?” he asked calmly. “Simmins … Margot Simmins … that’s my last name.” He raised a brow, “And your phone number?”

I tell Simon, “You wouldn’t be complaining about that.” “No thanks.” “I never thought this Casanova phase of yours would last this long,” I quip. Simon has never had a girlfriend. Not once. Not even a short one-month relationship. Ever since he got brokenhearted over Nicki in high school and watched his parent’s marriage crumble due to infidelity, he became quite the anti-romantic. He lost any belief he ever had in love, and he hasn’t yet met anyone to make him think otherwise. It’s impressive given the number of girls he has fooled around with these past few years. You’d think he would find ‘the one’ in the process.

"Simon, you're not here to beg Clairebear to get back together, are you? "Weren't you so tough yesterday? What—now that Clairebear didn't try to win you back, you can't take it anymore? You can't bear to let go of the rich woman you finally managed to cling to?" At his words, the guilt on Claire's face slowly faded, replaced by arrogance and mockery. "Simon, I really overestimated you. Sure enough, trash like you could never leave me."

He hollered at them angrily. Hayden had Zenos, Craig had Sean, even that Philips isn't pure, Mason had a girlfriend, and Caleb had a crush, but Simon had nothing. Nothing to capture his interest. Isn't that weird? Did he want to die a lonely man? Of course not! So today, he had to put an end to everything. He can't be the lone man among all these lovestruck friends of his. A smile suddenly surfaces on Simon's face, and two beautiful dimples appear on his cheeks. "I'm taking a walk today; who knows if I'll find my girlfriend today?"

I have made a playlist with both of our favorite music, and of course, I make sure 'At last' by Etta James is the main song. Simon is right on time; the house looks amazing, and the food smells heavenly. I am wearing a pink button-down shirt and black slacks, my pretty underwear hidden from sight, but the soft material caresses me seductively. Simon stops at the door; he seems stuck, his mouth wide open. "Babe whats the occasion did I forget something?" he asks, a worried look crossing his face; I go to him and kiss him. "Nope! Cant I just make dinner and look good for my boyfriend?" I ask him cheekily