The Thing That Wouldn't Leave Novels & Stories

Something I might not be able to walk away from. And the worst part? A small, traitorous part of me didn’t want to stop.

Unacceptable. But it wouldn't go away.

“Don’t touch me just go I don’t need you here” “ what do you want me to do? What do you want me to say that I want you so bad but I can’t let go of your sister is that what you want or you want to know the reason why I don’t want you well I am not doing this with you today I have important things to do” “Leave, you always leave when things get hot just like when we were kids, I see old habits never dies”. I ignored her and left the room. I don't even know why I left just like that because on a normal day I wouldn't but maybe it's because I was getting tired of where this whole conversation would lead to.

I wanted to ditch this wedding but I knew I would be in for a long ass lecture from my mother even though I already knew I was sure in for a lecture from her anyway since I decided to show up late at the wedding. Yes, that was right ,I could have just left but still I couldn't fucking go no matter how much I readied myself to.. Something deep down was telling me that I wasn't letting myself go not only because of my mother but there was another reason why I wasn't leaving that place..But what was the other fucking reason though?

But for a moment— I didn’t reject it either. And here, that difference matters. “That’s not fair,” I say quietly. “It’s not supposed to be.” I let out a slow breath, trying to steady myself, trying to hold onto that resistance I found earlier—that solid, quiet no that didn’t need words. It’s still there. But it’s thinner now. Like something pressed against it and left a mark. “We need to leave,” I say. “Yes.” Neither of us moves. That’s when I realize— We can’t.

“How long do you plan to stay there?” “Long enough to save up something meaningful. I want to walk out of there with something that's at least worth the pain.” I sniffed. “And when I do leave, I won't look back. I'll have something to my name. I can't leave there broken and broke .” “My dear, at some point, there would be something you can't let go of. It's easier now, when you just have yourself.” “And what could that be?” “Kids,” she said plainly.

“If I stayed. You wouldn’t even—” “Don’t finish that sentence.” It came out sharper than I meant it to. She blinked. I softened it, tried to. “I would not be fine. I would be the opposite of fine. But that’s not the point. The point is you don’t get to make yourself smaller because leaving is hard. You’ve never done that. Don’t start now. Not for me.” I hadn’t meant to say that last part. It hung there in the cold air between us, small and true and impossible to take back.

In the things we did not say because saying them will require us to examine them,simply my fathers rule. So after returning from the Whitmor Gala, which took almost 2 hours ride I was so tried,my mum gave me a look from her book,the one that meant she had been waiting, not for me exactly, but for what I had to say about the Gala. I smiled,And said it was fine that was what she wanted to hear. I went to bed and stared at the ceiling for four hours trying to cozy myself to sleep.

“Don’t let it break.” Because if it did— He knew she wouldn’t just leave. She’d disappear. And he’d never get her back.

Leaving seemed impossible. Was this the end for us?