Untamable Meaning

My Alpha series book 3 (Standalone) "You tried to fucking kill your own mate! What the hell's wrong with you?" he growled harshly, but I refused to cower as I spoke coldly, masking my fear of him and refusing to let him know how terrified of him I really am. "You killed my brother, brother trumps mate" "Your brother had it coming" he snarled. "That's what you want to believe? Fine. I guess that means I have it coming now too. Go ahead, tear out my heart, it's already dead anyway" I said genuinely, meaning every word because death's rather merciful compared to what he's capable of doing to me as punishment for trying to kill him. There're things a lot worse and scarier than death, believe me I'd know because I've already lived them and I do not wish on experiencing them again especially by him, my mate. My heart's dead but he's the only one capable of bringing it back to life only to obliterate it into pieces. "Oh no, I spent a fortune buying you even though you're not worth a dime. You owe me a lot of money, mate. I'm going to make that dead, cold heart of yours mine and I'm going to enjoy the hell out of shattering it while you're still alive" he promised darkly as his hand tightened around my neck. I couldn't say anything back, I saw the hellfire he plans to burn me in through his eyes and there was nothing I could do or say to save myself from it, from him. "You're my slave now, you do everything I ask you to do without objections or face the consequences of disobeying. Start praying slave, you're going to need it especially if you don't tame that smart mouth of yours"

*** I was complete but useless, when I met him. He was my saviour that time. He enlightened me and gave meaning to my useless life. He became my happiness but at the same time my sadness, that turns out to be my nightmare. I thought that he will be my first and last, but I'm wrong 'coz it's just lust. I gave everything to him, my life, my body and also my heart but he broke it. I was so dumb and became useless again but the worst part is he made me feel so loved but left me afterwards. Nung unang kita niya sa akin para akong isang bimpo na madumi na kanyang ni linisan at inalagaan... But after that, things turns upside down... Nagising na lamang ako ng mag isa at doon ko lang din na realized na panandalian lamang ang lahat. Sana pala hindi na niya ako pinulot pa kung mas malala pala ang huling babagsakan ko. Ang O.A ba ng explanation ko? O.A na kung O.A. But, you can't blame me. Nasaktan ako, nag dusa at nag tiis sa sakit ng iniwan niya ko. Wala siyang tinira pati ata ang kaluluwa ko dala niya. He left me hanging while falling apart. Lahat ng saya noong na kasama ko siya ay na palitan ng isang milyon na sakit nung iwan niya ako. Para akong lobo na bigla na lang binitawan pag katapos pag sawaan. Yes. That's me, the EX- Wife of that monster Zeke Ethan Harmes. I want to know the reasons why he throw me? Why he left me dumbfounded? I need an explanation. I need his acceptable reason. I need him and I love him. Pero mas gusto alamin kung minahal niya ba ako o ginamit niya lang ako para sa yaman?