Novel & Cerita Wala Na Malungkot Na Ako Everyday

“Tell me what is happening right now. Do not hold anything back. I can see you are carrying something heavy today.” I shook my head quickly, and tears spilled down my cheeks without warning. “I hate this,” I said, my voice breaking loudly in the quiet room. “I hate feeling weak every single day. I hate crying in the bathroom at work, crying in my car on the way here, and crying the second I sit on this stupid couch. I hate that I can’t just be normal like everyone else. I hate that I feel like a little kid who can’t handle anything without falling apart.”

POV Willa Pain. That's all I can feel right now. I take that back. I'm also frustrated, hurt, and sad. I'm pissed. No I'm livid. I can't believe that I'm in this situation. I can't believe that I didn't see this coming. I'm mad at myself. I wasn't ready for this and now I'm paying the price. I sigh and look up at the light. The only thing illuminating this dingy basement. I hate this room. It's dark and cold. I detest being stuck in here. Three days. Three fucking days that I've been stuck here. Suddenly, the door creaks open and I glared at the person walking in.

I’ve spent hours weeping despite my best efforts to stop. Just knowing I’m crying over a guy has left me feeling pathetic, and that’s not something I’ve ever felt before and I hate it. It’s like it says in that Lee Marvin song, ‘mud can make you prisoner, and the plains can bake you dry. Snow can burn your eyes, but only people make you cry.’

Damn! Tatayo na sana ako pero bago pa ako makatayo ay nag-angat ng tingin si Mr. Willis sa'kin and he seemed shock. Maybe he sees me as a tough woman that's why he's shock that I'm crying. "A-alis muna a-ako..." utal kong sabi at tumakbo palabas. Di ko na alintanang tinatawag niya ako. Takbo lang ako ng takbo habang pahid ako ng pahid sa mga luha ko. What's wrong with me? I thought okay na ako? I thought kaya ko ng bigkasin sina Mama at Papa ng di na umiiyak? Move on Elie! Move on! Shit! My tears keep falling and I really hate it! Kailan ba to mauubos?

Till Natalie. I have only been with her for a little over a month and I… goddess, it hurts. Like my heart is outside my body and I am just struggling to breathe through my mouth It feels hopeless. It is hopeless. Am I supposed to go through the days like this? With a bleeding, open wound that no one can see? How do I live like this? “Day by day,” Lucas answers. It takes me a second to realize that I had asked the question out loud. “Day by day,” I whisper despondently.

I wanted to be worth him. Breaking down on my knees, I cried out, pouring out the pain from the sad news earlier today and the feeling of being unloved. It ached. The thought of it. Everything ached so much. More tears streamed down with force, followed by some mucus which I don’t attempt to hold in because I felt weak. Lifeless. It felt like his words had drained every single ounce of life in me. My eyes were starting to ache so badly. Every part of me did. I felt so pitiful and I hated that.

After eating and gisting till evening, I left Mia's house to my apartment, hoping the next day would be a better day. "I was wrong" I said as I sat on the ground in my room looking dead. " Today is the worst day ever" I screamed, which turned to wails. "Why is all these happening to me?" I cried. It was unlike me, I used to be hardworking and I always looked after myself. These are the moments where I wished I had parents. I feel like I'm dying already.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what you had been through. I really am sorry, I…” I interrupted him calmly, “Let’s go.” He didn’t move. “Can we not get a divorce? I’ll make it up to you.” I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. “Carter, yesterday I saw embarrassment and anger in your eyes, but not a trace of pity.” I smiled softly. “You have to admit, you don’t love me.” Saying it out loud wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, yet I had been trapped by this truth for so many years.

Jake doesn’t sleep that night. Not because he’s heartbroken — because his brain won’t shut up. He keeps seeing Mom’s face when Amaka showed the phone. Not angry. Just tired. Like she aged ten years in two seconds. He hates that more than shouting. At 6am he gets up, washes his face in the bucket. Water’s cold. His knuckles still hurt from punching the wall two days ago. He looks at his hand and thinks: _I’m disgusting._

I can't believe that he is the same shiv whom I know from my college days Who couldn't bear a single tear in my eyes & now he is the sole reason for my tears. I never wished for something Big in my life. I was a simple girl with no desires. I just wanted to live a happy life with my Hubby and my Family like an ordinary girl. But I couldn't get it. Am I so bad ? That there is no one to care for me, to love me. In this whole world I am all alone. She cried more & more , remembering the past days. Where Shivaay used to pamper her and love her. Remembering those blissful days Many tears were falling from her eyes.