The Haunted Vibrator
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Honestly, why would anyone borrow books about astrophysics from a community library unless they were massive science nerds or curious preteens learning about the solar system for some school project?
As the jock handed his poorly-cared library card, Mary scanned it and robotically told him, trying to hide her disgust behind the poker face, that the books were due for return in three weeks.
“You can sign up for an account online for an additional week of borrowing extension. Please return it the day before, or you could incur a fine for every additional day you are late.”
Without even a word of thanks, the jock took his library card and books with his girlfriend who was clinging onto his arm