Novel & Cerita When You Stop Reaching Out First

Then more. I wait. And wait. And still nothing comes through. Call her. My wolf pushes. “I don’t know…” I say hesitantly, staring at the phone. Do it. Maybe she is just scared to reach out first. Maybe she doesn’t want to be the first one to say something. He says. I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath before nodding my head. “Yeah, okay... Fine.” I say and before I can overthink it, I hit the call button.

I watched him watch me as I moved closer to him. " I can't do this anymore", I whispered. " I don't think I want to be this close to you", my voice shook as I said it. " I will meet the teacher so he can put you in another group." It hurts whenever he shuts me out, it hurts. I did not know what I was doing but I felt it was for my sanity. Tears dripped down my face making me look pathetic, I quickly wiped it, trying to hide my weakness which he has seen already.

he muttered, his eyes glittering under the soft yellow light of the bulbs. I didn't press for more, “I can't reach her” I admitted, shame hitting my gut, inserting itself deeper into me. “That much is expected,” he said methodically. Eros held me, lost in thought, “You said there was a way she reached out to you last time. When you are in trouble, try reaching out” he suggested. “Right.” Why hadn't I thought of that, but that would mean retreating and giving control to Ava, and quite frankly, I hadn't done this before.

For the first time in a long while, I felt I had to stop—not stop caring, but stop pushing—and start listening. Carissa… I’ll wait for you. But this time, not as someone begging for you back. As someone who’s ready to walk beside you, even if you never choose me again.

"It is done." The waiting is the hardest part. Every notification makes my heart jump, and every email feels monumental. "Stop staring at your phone," Renlo tells me. "I cannot help it." "They will respond when they respond." "And if they do not?" "Then we try again." I nod, but deep down, I want this one.

That’s the beauty of it—how easy it is to mistake control for choice. The first few minutes crawl. I pour a drink, check the clock, pretend to read a report. The phone stays silent. It’s fine. Patience is the one virtue I never lost. Then the notification flashes. One reply. I smile. Not wide—just enough to feel the pull of it at the corner of my mouth. There it is. The first “yes.” The one that matters. I close the screen and let the city blur behind the glass. Every plan needs momentum, a center of gravity.

Just checking. Delete. This was embarrassing. Why was I acting like a middle school girl waiting for her crush? Why would I be the one reaching out? I set the phone on the table and leaned back into the sofa. I was the one dealing with the consequences of all this. If there were to be any communication, he should be the one to reach out first. At least that would be proof that I mattered.

I'm going grocery shopping, getting my car washed and doing laundry later. The past couple of months have been my wildest. I guess one could say I'm going through a phase, they wouldn't be wrong. Maybe it's been partly a distraction but also, I think I'm realizing the benefits of opening myself up. I no longer live in the small world I'd created for myself but instead, I'm an active member of society. I start by going to have my car washed. I put my earphones in as I enter the car washing machine thingy to block out the loud noises.

“Nina, think about the words Mrs. Scott said in the garden just now! It sounded like a woman died because of her.” “She blamed the woman’s death on herself, she’s guilty and afraid, she’s terrified.” “A woman died?” Nina's eyebrows screwed even tighter. Michael continued, “If you really have no idea what to do, maybe you can start by reaching out to Mrs. Scott’s friends. Maybe they would know something.” “My mom has been sick for so long; she lost all her friends a long time ago.” “What about family?” “Besides the two of us, we don’t have any other family! Even if we do, I don’t know them. All these years, I haven’t met them before.”

I'm giving advice to them. "I'm a little bit off from the world- away from everyone else these days, it's not about anybody, it's about me trying to figure out things all by myself. So, bear with my silence and distance. I've been trying to put myself altogether 'cause I think I'm slowly losing the colors on things I used to be so passionate about. I messed up a lot of things, I guess. I know we all are struggling, I understand that you too are busy and exhausted tending on your own wounds and overcoming your own lapses as well. But it's never a least favor we could give to each other. Let's focus on our becoming, it might take a little more time to finally figure things out, but one day cle