You Are So Dumb Jokes

"Don't underestimate me!" She growled, pressing the knife against his neck on their wedding night. "Don't mistake my kindness for my weakness." "You look so hot pinning me against the wall and the knife pressing me against my neck," he smirked. ˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷ Weylin Turner, the vicious leader of the mafia organization 'The Black Panther' returned to England after fifteen years. At a party, he learned that his marriage was already fixed with the daughter of one of the most powerful mafia organizations in England. But on the day of the marriage, the bride didn't appear. To save his father's face, he immediately ordered his subordinates to find a bride for him. Suddenly his eyes fell on Garaine Jones, a cheerful caregiver at an orphanage. He couldn't help but take advantage of the situation. Finding her weakness, he compelled her to become his bride. To his surprise, she agreed to his terms and conditions easily. Little did he know that Garaine Jones wasn't some ordinary woman as he thought. She was something beyond his imagination. Did the predator himself become prey while chasing his fantasies?

"I, Nikolai Kensington, will make you so rich, you'll walk on money. I'll place you above your enemies and make them worship at your feet. You'll no longer be known as the timid Adira, but you'll become known as one of the most powerful women in the country." Those were the words that changed Adira's life forever. Adira Ravenswood was heartbroken when Lancelot divorced her to be with his second lover. They had been friends from childhood, so she had loved him so dearly and didn't know how to move on without him. While Lancelot was from a very rich home, Adira was very poor, and she felt that was part of the reasons he had quit the marriage. Everyone ridiculed her, Lancelot's mother froze her accounts so she couldn't have access to the money she had gotten from him. Adira's own family mocked and looked down on her. They said she could never amount to anything. Adira was broken and dejected and was at the verge of taking her life when the most powerful, but cold-hearted man in the country showed up and offered her a juicy proposal - one that would make her trample on every single person that's ever hurt her. But it came with a condition - a condition that was very easy, yet so difficult.

Firstly how to get inside the club (This is where Xain comes in) Get his attention #Santo De Luca the biggest player in the whole of America# Get called to his floor Have sex with him Collect 100 grand Save Sophie Chances of success 98% Chances of failure 2% Hey everyone This is my first time writing a novel So please drop a comment On your view of it Love you all

Sophie Mack, a 19-year-old resilient and dedicated child of a zealot parish man, raised by a nanny turned stepmother after the death of her mother from birth. She not only faced betrayal by her stepsister, but her boyfriend of five years drugged her, then she had a one-night stand with a stranger, resulting in triplets.   Elliot Harrington, a 26-year-old shrewd billionaire, wakes up in a hotel room to find himself wrapped around a beautiful girl.  Before he checks out of the hotel room, he leaves the girl with a bundle of cash. Later, he sends his investigator to find the girl he slept with, who mistakes Sophie for Olivia, Sophie's step-sister.   Five years later, Sophie, now a renowned financial analyst, returns to New York and starts working at the prestigious Harrington Group, where Elliot is president. Little does she know, her triplets embark on a mission—to uncover the identity of their elusive father.  *** "Owen, did you hear what that man said? He said you looked like his boss. Can the boss be our daddy?" Nathan said, looking at Owen, who had already started working devotedly on his laptop. "We can't be sure of that. But we can still make him candidate 1. The point is helping Mummy find Daddy," replied Isabel, the only girl of the triplets.   "I found him—his boss—and I guess I kind of resemble him. I have his eyes and ears." Owen said with a raised brow. "See, Nathan, you have his hair. But Isabel, you don't resemble Dad, not even Mom; who do you resemble?"  "Who told you his dad? We are not even sure he is our dad; it's just candidate 1." ***  Will Candidate 1 prove to be the missing link, or is there another layer to the mystery that even the triplets couldn't foresee?

Setelah gagal menikah dengan Xavier, laki-laki yang ia cintai delapan tahun lamanya. Kini, Aluna harus berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk menyembuhkan luka batinnya, luka tak kasat mata yang mampu membuatnya menderita. Menangis setiap malam karena teringat kenangan indah dengan sang mantan kekasih yang begitu ia cinta. Ketika Aluna tengah berjuang dengan luka, ia bertemu dengan Fazam yang merupakan teman satu kampusnya. Hadirnya Fazam bagai penawar luka yang tengah ia rasa. Namun, itu semua hanya di awal saja. Hubungannya dengan Fazam lama kelamaan berubah menjadi sebuah hubungan yang tidak sehat atau biasa disebut Toxic Relationship yang membuat Aluna menjadi jauh dari sahabat-sahabatnya, membuat gadis itu kembali mendapatkan luka karena cinta dari orang yang berbeda dan bahkan sempat terpikir untuk mengakhiri hidupnya saja. Inilah kisah hidup seorang gadis bernama Aluna Ocean Andromeda. Kisah hidup dengan lika-liku persoalan remaja yang tengah beranjak dewasa. Cinta, persahabatan, juga keluarga menjadi bumbu-bumbu kehidupan yang begitu berwarna. Kamu yang pernah singgah, dan sempat membersamai dalam jejak langkah menapaki jalan tak tentu arah menorehkan beragam untaian kisah.

After suffering all kinds of infertility treatment, Mango was finally pregnant with Nathaniel’s child. But it turned out another woman had already conceived Nathaniel’s child for 5 months. Just after claimed her pregnancy, she was kidnapped by Nathaniel’s bodyguard and almost died in the fire he set. It was universally acknowledged that she was dead. But that’s not true. After five years, Mango came back to Nathaniel’s side as a famous international car designer seeking revenge. Except for a different title, she also had a different face which looked more gorgeous and a different identity, mom. Her son Zion, a four-year-old boy, who shared the same beautiful almond-shaped eyes with Nathaniel was much more mentally mature than the kids of his age and also sought revenge for Nathaniel. However, revenge wasn’t the main purpose of them coming back...

Just as she’s starting her new life in Las Vegas, she gets an urgent call to return home to Atlanta. Deila Barbson could be stubborn, witty…among other things but she wasn’t the rogue her family thought her to be so she answered with equal urgency oblivious to what awaited her— her past. She’s faced with the person that’s haunted her beautiful nightmares everyday for two years. Betrayed by her heart, she found herself running again from whom she still longed for as the very air she breaths. Breathing was as difficult as commitments. Would she stand unbroken or she melt under his touch? Time they said healed every wound so why did his heart still bleed at the sight of the woman that left him shattered sixteen months ago? Hard-headed as he was, James Martin felt open as if it were yesterday he got stood up on his planned proposal dinner. He wanted answers, from her, from himself; why didn’t he feel anger towards her for breaking his heart? Why was his heart still thudding with hope at the sight of her? Why did Deila still unman him as if he wasn’t the macho CEO that intimidated even the Mayor? And most importantly, why did she return? Behind the unwilling woman and broken man was the dark secret both their families shared. What would be keeping them apart? Their ego? Or the family secret? Warning: This book contains mature words and sexual encounters that aren't suitable for readers under the age of 18.

What happens if the person you are chasing is also chasing someone else? Unique Aurella Ravenna Aglauros is a supermodel and a CEO that comes from the wealthiest family of Chicago. Finding true love for someone as busy, as famous, and as rich as Aurella is a very difficult task to accomplish. It might even be too impossible, so when her family arranged her to marry a CEO just like herself, hesitations were nowhere to be found. She agreed, and she eventually learned to be fond of him until she somehow fell in love. But when her long-awaited wedding day finally came, he changed his mind and left her standing at the altar with her expensive white gown stained with shame. Humiliated, she instead focused on becoming the best of her field just to forget that she let herself be fooled. Little did she know, there was someone else secretly yearning for her behind the competition between them in the business world. But how can a love story blossom in a toxic and chaotic environment? And how can he be capable of reaching her when she's chasing someone who's also busy running after someone else? Oh, how unlucky.

Dahil sa paratang kay Bhelle Alonte na nakipag-sex ito sa kaibigan nitong lalake ay masisira ang magandang relasyon nila ng kasintahan nitong si Tyrone Del Mundo. Makalipas ang limang taon ay muling magtatagpo ang landas ng dating magkasintahan. Si Tyrone bilang masungit at malamig ang pakikitungo sa lahat na isang CEO ng sarili nitong kumpanya. At si Bhelle na bagong secretary ni Tyrone. Pero dahil sa kanilang nakaraan ay magiging kalbaryo kay Bhelle ang muli nilang pagtatagpo ng lalakeng minsan na sa tanang buhay niyang minahal ng lubusan pero siya ring dumurog sa puso niya ng lubusan. Maghihilom pa kaya ang puso nilang sugatan kung sa kasalukuyan ay pareho lang naman silang nagkakasakitan?

She looked at her with contempt, her red heels clicking on the ground. A sinister smile is plastered on her face full of malice. "Whatever you do, he's mine. Even if you go back in time, he's always be mine." Then the man beside the woman with red heels, snaked his hands on her waist. "You'll never be my partner. You're a trash!" The pair walked out of that dark alley and left her coughing blood. At the last seconds of her life, her lifeless eyes closed. *** Jade angrily looked at the last page of the book. She believed that everyone deserves to be happy. She heard her mother calling for her to eat but reading is her first priority. And so, until she felt dizzy reading, she fell asleep. *** Words she can't comprehend rang in her ears. She's now the 'Heather' in the book. [No, I won't change the story. I'll just watch on the sidelines.] This is what she believed not until... "Stop slandering Heather unless you want to lose your necks." That was the beginning of her new life as a character. Cover Illustration: JEIJANDEE (follow her on IG with the same username) Release Schedule: Every Saturday NOTE: This work is undergoing major editing (grammar and stuffs) and hopefully will be finished this month, so expect changes. Thank you~!